1. MandyW

    MandyW Registered User

    Oct 11, 2005
    Hello everyone,
    I havent been on here for a few years but I regularly check in. Ive had a few awful months. My mum and dad both passed away within 6 weeks of eachother. My beautiful mum has had alzheimers since she was 48 years old and died age 63 two weeks ago. My Dad aged 66, her carer for 15 years, died of cancer within 3 weeks of diagnosis now 8 weeks ago. He failed to recognise the signs of bowel cancer as he was so intent on looking after my mum. I looked after both of them and cared for them at the end of their lives. It breaks my heart.
    Last year my dad took his GCSE English to keep his mind active whilst my eldest daughter was taking hers. He discovered a new side of himself and really enjoyed literature and poetry. One morning he woke up with a poem that had to be written. I wanted to share it with you as it has moved so many people. I read it out at his funeral and i hung it on the wall above mums bed for the last few weeks of her life. I am keen to get it published but dont know where to start. This poem is his words, his experience, his heart ache. Its very moving and i owe it to my parents to show it to others who arent as fortunate to be able to put it into words.

    Do you know what its like?

    This poem is my call to arms

    To acknowledge a new day and to quickly build my wall,
    I check to see if my lovely wife is still here to be loved
    Cope with daily chores and tribulations, used to be shared,
    And worry about the soundness of my own mind.

    This poem is my tour of duty

    To deal with the marquetry and veneered concern
    Of friends, family and officialdom.
    Be strong and capable on the outside,
    Dealing with the tide and maze of emotions inside.

    This poem is my devotion to love

    No one has ever dared peek into my shell
    Even i daren't look, just feeling the hurt.
    I sometimes ponder and try to justify,
    Ethics of prolonging suffering. Not my call.

    This poem is my call to the Samaritans

    To finish the day with uncertainty for the future,
    And deal with the inner emptiness and loneliness,
    Luckily my tears are free
    Otherwise i would be a pauper.

    This poem is my emotional compost bin and ode to Alzheimers

    By John Martin 1947-2013

    I hope this doesnt upset anyone. My mum and Dad are my inspiration. I miss them more than anyone can imagine. I just dont want them to be forgotten, and maybe this poem will continue their legacy? I'd love everyones feedback?!


    Mandy Williams
  2. janma221

    janma221 Registered User

    Apr 23, 2013
    Mandy that is wonderful your father must have been a remarkable man. At least they are both at peace now and I hope you can remember them with love and happiness in time xx
  3. Noorza

    Noorza Registered User

    Jun 8, 2012
    #3 Noorza, Dec 12, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2013
    Getting poetry published in books is a very difficult thing to do and by all means use the Writers Year Books but in all honesty it's do hard for poets. I have used other routes. There are other ways to make his words make a difference. My mum wrote notes when she was critical and asked me to pull them together for her. I put them into a poem, the nurses cried when they read it, the priest who was mentioned thought it was wonderful, the doctors loved it.

    I framed a copy of it, and they put it up in their relatives' rooms as it was about a woman who wasn't ready to leave us yet. I'm sure it's in the rubble now when the hospital was rebuilt but for a few years it hung in the relatives rooms. It wasn't Wordsworth but it meant something to people who were sharing the same kinds of experiences.

    I sent a copy to our local Irish Society who publish a poetry corner in their quarterly news letter.

    You can send it to your local newspaper, see if they have "Poetry Corners" I'm sure they'd love your Dad's poem, particularly with dementia being so high on the agenda right now.

    You have also just published it, you've shared it and people who never knew your Dad are reading and appreciating his fine word skills so you have already got your first publication on the www.

    Thank you so much for sharing and I wish you all the luck in the word spreading your Dad's fine prose.
  4. lulubel

    lulubel Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    Co Durham
    What a beautiful poem....... written from the heart, regardless of what's going on the head....... beautiful
  5. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
  6. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    North East England
    It's a beautiful poem that deserves to be published, I wish you every success. Your mum and dad sound like they were wonderful people devoted to each other, please accept my condolences. You must be reeling, I can feel the pain in your post. I'm so very sorry.

  7. turbo

    turbo Registered User

    Aug 1, 2007
    Hello Mandy, My sincere condolences on the loss of both your parents.
    The poem is beautiful.

  8. hiedicat

    hiedicat Registered User

    Mar 14, 2012
    Thank you for sharing this poem, sincere condolences for your loss of both parents
  9. KentJude

    KentJude Registered User

    Jul 2, 2012
    Hello Mandy, that's so moving, and speaks volumes about a carer's incredible strength and heartbreak. Many thousands will identify with it and I hope you can get it published.

    Nowadays you can self publish on the internet although I've never done it myself.

    I'm so sorry for your own heartbreak, both your parents were taken far too soon. You did a wonderful thing caring for them when you must've been fragile yourself. I wish you strength.

    Best wishes
  10. MandyW

    MandyW Registered User

    Oct 11, 2005
    Thank you everyone for your support and advice, I really appreciate it.
    I will endevour to get my dads poem published using the suggested sites that you have given me.

    If I may add one last thing....

    If you have cared for, loved and protected someone with Alzheimers or any other terminal illness, as devastating and heartbreaking as it is when they pass away, you will have absolutely no regrets. I have no regrets and I am 100% positive that my mum and dad knew how much I loved and respected them. That is a massive comfort to me. The rest of my family that wasn't there for them like I was, dont have that peace of mind.

    You're doing a great job even though it doesn't necessarily feel that way now. When all is said and done, you will know in your heart that you truly done the best for your loved one. And thats all anyone can ever ask for.

    Mandy x
  11. nita

    nita Registered User

    Dec 30, 2011
    Hallo, Mandy. I like your father's poem very much. I think it is good enough to enter into a poetry competition and, if it is selected, it will be published in a collection. Have a look at this site:-


    I am so sorry you have recently lost both your parents. As you say, the only consolation is that you did your best for them and that they are now both at peace.
    Thinking of you.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.