Rivershores, you have every right to feel sorry for yourself !!! It sounds as though you are not only in a really difficult situation with your mum, but also with your sisters and wider family.....This cannot be easy to cope with at all
My situation is different in that there is only me doing the caring.....so I have had to come to the heartbreaking decision to move mum to a care home. I simply couldn't cope on my own. Now everyone says to me "oh, that's good, that must be a relief"To be honest it is the exact opposite, the three weeks that mum has been in the home have been some of the worst of my life. I cannot bear the thought of her feeling frightened, lonely, terrified even....although even on TP, people advise me not to worry so much, she is being well cared for.
I truly feel that there are no right answers here. We do our best to help those we love, but it can never feel enough, while they suffer as they do.
Lindy xx
Lindy, I can only imagine how heartbreaking it has been for you. I am sending you a huge hug and I sincerely hope you can find a bit of peace about this decision. I often think about that scenario for my mum and although I might be coming across as exasperated with and stressed out about my mum, it would also completely break my heart to move her to a care home and witness all the negative reactions and feelings she would inevitably go through. As you say, there really is no ideal situation. We can only do our best in what is an awfully difficult and sad situation. I KNOW you will not have taken this decision lightly and I KNOW you will have done it out of love and I am certain that it was what had to be. I recently read a post on TP about three questions that someone's friend asked them after they had moved their mother to a home (and her mother was furious with her) and they were essentially questions about whether this was the best scenario for the loved one given the circumstances, was the decision taken out of love and had they done their best for their loved one given the difficult circumstances. When the person was able to answer yes to all three questions they gained a certain peace from it. This resonated with me as I know I will be facing this at some stage. I hope things settle down for you and your mum and I send you much love and support.
