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Emotion gone

Infinite

Registered User
Aug 22, 2021
18
0
My husband has never been a demonstrative person now I never get any gratefulness a ta if I'm lucky others get "Thanks a lot "is this Worsened by Frontal lobe Dementia if challenged on this no response or sometimes nastiness eg All I do is moan etc
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
11,896
0
Yorkshire
hello @Infinite
a warm welcome to DTP
sadly the lack of emotional response, empathy, can be linked with frontal lobe damage .... similarly the nastiness ... the person loses the ability to really read others' emotions and 'put themselves in someone else's shoes', so it becomes all about them
tough to face when you're used to the closeness of a marriage
also hard when others appear to get more of a reaction ... we call this 'host mode'

now you've started, do kedp posting ... it helps to share
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
12,739
0
Merseyside
Welcome to TP @Infinite
Sadly, emotion & empathy can be lost with dementia & is incredibly hard for carers to live with.
Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,148
0
South coast
OH has frontal lobe damage and, near the beginning, in a lucid moment told me that he felt there was a blockage somewhere and he couldn't access emotions, so it meant that he couldn't feel emotions and it seemed like everyone was cold and distant. To me, of course, it seemed like the other way around. He has also lost empathy and can no longer see anything from anyone else's viewpoint, so yes, everything becomes about him. I remember when our cat had to be put down. I came back from the vets, sat down and cried. OH just sat there and watched me. When I dried my eyes he perked up and said cheerfully "what's for dinner?" . I no longer expect anything from him. In many ways it's like dealing with a small child who can only see what they want (and he usually wants it right now!)
 

Murielbow

New member
Nov 25, 2020
5
0
OH has frontal lobe damage and, near the beginning, in a lucid moment told me that he felt there was a blockage somewhere and he couldn't access emotions, so it meant that he couldn't feel emotions and it seemed like everyone was cold and distant. To me, of course, it seemed like the other way around. He has also lost empathy and can no longer see anything from anyone else's viewpoint, so yes, everything becomes about him. I remember when our cat had to be put down. I came back from the vets, sat down and cried. OH just sat there and watched me. When I dried my eyes he perked up and said cheerfully "what's for dinner?" . I no longer expect anything from him. In many ways it's like dealing with a small child who can only see what they want (and he usually wants it right now!)

Hello Canary and Others,there are not many posts on here about Frontal Lobe Dementia, I certainly wish there was more, my husband has it he is 72, Diagnosed over a year ago. I’ve been through the violence side, we still have violent verbal outbursts but the lack of empathy, love, emotion and care to me and his family, his continuous OCD is almost unbearable, there is real hatred there and it’s all about him. It’s like living with a stranger. I can no longer even have a conversation with him, let alone talk to him or confide in him any more, he has gone as the person he was and I am finding it extremely difficult and I am genuinely not sure how long I can try and support him and put up with it. Even though we’ve been married for 44 yrs, I am starting to actually dislike him, how awful is that? At present I don’t find much support out there, the psychiatrist just dumps you on diagnosis, no follow up, the same with the GP. How have you found the support out there? So I am here to talk and an advise in anyway. Take care everyone.
 

Infinite

Registered User
Aug 22, 2021
18
0
Hello Canary and Others,there are not many posts on here about Frontal Lobe Dementia, I certainly wish there was more, my husband has it he is 72, Diagnosed over a year ago. I’ve been through the violence side, we still have violent verbal outbursts but the lack of empathy, love, emotion and care to me and his family, his continuous OCD is almost unbearable, there is real hatred there and it’s all about him. It’s like living with a stranger. I can no longer even have a conversation with him, let alone talk to him or confide in him any more, he has gone as the person he was and I am finding it extremely difficult and I am genuinely not sure how long I can try and support him and put up with it. Even though we’ve been married for 44 yrs, I am starting to actually dislike him, how awful is that? At present I don’t find much support out there, the psychiatrist just dumps you on diagnosis, no follow up, the same with the GP. How have you found the support out there? So I am here to talk and an advise in anyway. Take care everyone.
Hello Canary and Others,there are not many posts on here about Frontal Lobe Dementia, I certainly wish there was more, my husband has it he is 72, Diagnosed over a year ago. I’ve been through the violence side, we still have violent verbal outbursts but the lack of empathy, love, emotion and care to me and his family, his continuous OCD is almost unbearable, there is real hatred there and it’s all about him. It’s like living with a stranger. I can no longer even have a conversation with him, let alone talk to him or confide in him any more, he has gone as the person he was and I am finding it extremely difficult and I am genuinely not sure how long I can try and support him and put up with it. Even though we’ve been married for 44 yrs, I am starting to actually dislike him, how awful is that? At present I don’t find much support out there, the psychiatrist just dumps you on diagnosis, no follow up, the same with the GP. How have you found the support out there? So I am here to talk and an advise in anyway. Take care everyone.
I feel the same don't feel guilty it's a living death for any relationship all my husband cares about is the TV but that's not new but now he's stopping me doing the things I want to do eg go out with friends as I spend all my time doing chores but is not interested in me at all its a joke unpaid carer but got to pay for respite to leave him somewhere I don't wholly trust .I know I could be worse off but this is a bereavement with an open end .my husband used to be quiet anyway ,I totally empathise it sounds worse for you though I hope u have a support network I have that & my faith so will carry on sending the greatest wish for you to find help & Others understand I'm sure but it lonely take care all us cares
 

Infinite

Registered User
Aug 22, 2021
18
0
OH has frontal lobe damage and, near the beginning, in a lucid moment told me that he felt there was a blockage somewhere and he couldn't access emotions, so it meant that he couldn't feel emotions and it seemed like everyone was cold and distant. To me, of course, it seemed like the other way around. He has also lost empathy and can no longer see anything from anyone else's viewpoint, so yes, everything becomes about him. I remember when our cat had to be put down. I came back from the vets, sat down and cried. OH just sat there and watched me. When I dried my eyes he perked up and said cheerfully "what's for dinner?" . I no longer expect anything from him. In many ways it's like dealing with a small child who can only see what they want (and he usually wants it right now!)
Bless you its like living with a child or teenager can be but worse as they won't grow up ! Poor you losing your cat etc I wish I could make you laugh you sure need it all of us crying out loud lol lots of lv 2 all
 

Infinite

Registered User
Aug 22, 2021
18
0
Welcome to TP @Infinite
Thank you for reply that's a thought worth remembering bless you I worked in the NHS with elderly & in mental health but never felt so alone as I do now caring for a person with FLDementia
 

Infinite

Registered User
Aug 22, 2021
18
0
hello @Infinite
a warm welcome to DTP
sadly the lack of emotional response, empathy, can be linked with frontal lobe damage .... similarly the nastiness ... the person loses the ability to really read others' emotions and 'put themselves in someone else's shoes', so it becomes all about them
tough to face when you're used to the closeness of a marriage
also hard when others appear to get more of a reaction ... we call this 'host mode'

now you've started, do kedp posting ... it helps to share
hello @Infinite
a warm welcome to DTP
sadly the lack of emotional response, empathy, can be linked with frontal lobe damage .... similarly the nastiness ... the person loses the ability to really read others' emotions and 'put themselves in someone else's shoes', so it becomes all about them
tough to face when you're used to the closeness of a marriage
also hard when others appear to get more of a reaction ... we call this 'host mode'

now you've started, do kedp posting ... it helps to share
Thank you very much I havnt been on here for an age so just saw your replies host mode made me see funny side