1. debby13

    debby13 Registered User

    Oct 15, 2007
    Hi all

    Just got off the phone with the respite place where my Dad is at and they are worried about his wanderings etc, apparently he went into the kitchen which is out of bounds and then had a fall last night. Typical as he is virtually bl....dy motionless before and I have decided not to tell mum as she just needs a rest from all of this constant stress. I feel like I have a huge knot of worry in my stomach and cannot concentrate on anything at all about from this illness!! It is driving me mad as well. Anyway will take some deep breaths etc but wanted to find out what is EMI and if I look for a permanent nursing home how do I find out those in my area that are registered? I am sure the answer is probably simple but my brain is frazzled and I just want all of this to stop (know that is a terrible thing to say...just feeling like that today and looking at everyone else thinking "bet their ok and I bet they dont have to deal with this"...sorry I know I am just feeling sorry for myself.

    Love to you all fellow sufferers xxx
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hello Debby

    EMI is Elderly Mentally Infirm. These units are better staffed and more secure, eg. there will be no way your father would be able to `wander` into an out of bounds kitchen, thus putting him in danger.

    SS can give you a list of homes registered for EMI, you can look up the CSCI reports on line, then make a short list of those you want to visit.

    You are OK feeling sorry for yourself, we feel as if we have to manage this illness alone and it`s extremely stressful.

    It`s really good of you to try to protect your mother, but perhaps when you have found alternative homes to look at, you might feel better about it.

    Take care and please update us when you find somewhere.

    Love xx
  3. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Debbie, you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself. Sometimes it is a good release mechanism.

    Yes, you may now have to look to using a more dedicated unit for your dad for the future. Do you have a SW who may be able to help. I know they cannot recommend, but usually have their ear to the ground.

    In our area SS had produced a large booklet giving all the homes for Essex/Hertfordshire, large and small, and of all categories. Also the local A.Soc might be able to help.

    Does sound as if dad may benefit from some additional caring stategies in the future. Don't fret and worry, it will sort itself out. We are always here for you.
    Love n'hugs.
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Debbie, don't worry about feeling sorry for yourself, we all do. None of us would have chosen this situation we find ourselves in.

    And don't worry about an EMI unit. My John has just gone into one, and At first I was very unsure about it, but, the level of care is superb, and I know he's safe. He wanders too, and goes into other people's rooms, but he can't get out of the unit, or into any rooms that he shouldn't.

    Your best plan is to spend some time going round and looking at any in your area. You'll soon know which ones you'd be happy with.

    Good luck,
  5. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear Debbie,
    We should all get to-gether when we are feeling down and I bet with dealing with A.D. we would fill Wembley Stadium. Peter is on a E.M.I. Unit and he is 62. At first it is a rather herrendous thought but in the long term as previously said our loved ones are in the best place. Keeping them safe and well looked after.
    I wish you all the very best. Christine

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