1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Ceciliarobo

    Ceciliarobo Registered User

    Sep 16, 2015
    Hello, my mum has been assessed as requiring EMI residential care home placement for her worsening Alzheimer's. I am distraught!
    I have looked after her for SO long- both in my home , following physical illness, once better she wanted independence so we got her a sheltered flat, and now she is is in a residential care home for assessment., this is where the decision for EMI residential has been made.
    She seems fine much of the time but has bouts of crying and disorientation, which is upsetting the other residents.
    She was on Metazapine but now a calming drug ( Tremadol or something?)is being tried to try to help her Torment. I have visited some EMI homes and am very unhappy as mum doesn't seem bad enough to be there!!!! Any suggestions for homes near Wigan where there are maybe a less "severe" type of EMI unit??? I am exhausted with the guilt and pain
    Thanks for listening o me.
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    Welcome to TP :)
    Can't the social worker not give you any pointers re care homes?
  3. Ceciliarobo

    Ceciliarobo Registered User

    Sep 16, 2015
    Hi, yes he has made a few suggestions (he has been great for the last few years with us ) but really it's down to me to go visit. None of the homes seem "right" - far too advanced for mums condition.
    It all seems so unfair , I feel she cannot be the only person with this " middle stage" dementia, surely a unit could be found to care for their specific problems- disorientation, short term severe memory loss, inability to make new friends etc, unacceptance of any problem .
    Rant over!
  4. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    Maybe mum is not seeming so bad because the drugs she is taking are working?

    Having said that, there are homes with two parts, one for those less troubled, and one for those more so. Are there none like that around you? SS should be able to tell you.
  5. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    I viewed the first few emi units for mum with horror. But she went to one for respite and honestly, she fitted in fine as much as she was ever going to "fit in" anywhere. She had little understanding of what was going on around her, I realised that I had been used to her ways and behaviour and hadn't fully realised how far down the road of AD she was.
    And now she is in the same place full time, we tend to visit her in her room now as we can have some privacy but when she is with all the other residents it doesn't seem odd to us any more, we know they were all perfectly capable people, vicars, solicitors, cleaners, mothers, teachers ...... and what they do or shout out sometimes is just not an issue for any of us. And certainly mum never seemed to notice anything remotely odd. So take heart, continue looking and find somewhere that the carers are lovely because they are the people who will make it good or bad for your mum.
  6. snowygirl

    snowygirl Registered User

    Jan 9, 2014
    Hello Ceciliarobo

    I'm in exactly the same position as you are as my dad has been in 'assessment' and was recommended EMI care in a residential home last Thursday. I have yet to visit any but was given a shortlist at the meeting with SS last week. I too am worried about this but wont know what the homes are like until Sat when we are going to start visiting them. My dad has gone from being at home straight into this situation without even carers being involved. Things seem to have moved on quickly and it appears dad is much worse then we thought after being assessed for two weeks. My mum had been caring for him. I'm very sad right now so my heart goes out to you as I can imagine how you must be feeling.

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