Hi Talking Point, I need some advice. Mum had been living on her own since her diagnosis of Alzheimer’s 2 years ago. She was assessed as a vulnerable adult (self neglect) in Nov and has been offered a place in sheltered accommodation which is due to open shortly. However this week things have broken down and she can no longer live alone (forgetting to eat, house freezing etc). She has moved in with me for a few days but has been given emergency respite from tomorrow at a local dementia care home (social worker has been amazing). She has no idea she is going and I have no idea how to broach it with her. We have been told by the CH manager that if she doesn’t agree to stay they can’t force her. But what do we then do with her next week as my hubby and I work full time? And what is the best way to handle things tomorrow. Should we just say she is staying there for a few days and hope she agrees. Any advice is most welcome.
Emergency respite query
- Thread starter Autumnal
- Start date
Hello and welcome.
You could try " the Doctor says" . There are variations, depending on individuals, but the basics are that this is nothing to do with you! "The doctor says... convalescent home, like a hotel where you can relax and have everything done for you for a few days, . .wanted to build up your strength for the rest of the Winter, with so much flu about." or similar. And keep repeating. Best of luck!
You could try " the Doctor says" . There are variations, depending on individuals, but the basics are that this is nothing to do with you! "The doctor says... convalescent home, like a hotel where you can relax and have everything done for you for a few days, . .wanted to build up your strength for the rest of the Winter, with so much flu about." or similar. And keep repeating. Best of luck!
I have no experience of this situation but am surprised if your mum is deemed vulnerable from self neglect which indicates possible loss of mental capacity that safeguarding isn't reason enough to put an emergency DOLS in place for the respite as clearly from what you say she is at risk on her own. However...blame it on the GP...you are at work and he insists she is safely looked after while you are working...just for a little while so that her new accommodation can be decorated ...etc...it is a difficult problem to try and deal with
Hi guys, thanks to everyone who took the time to reply. I decided not to tell mum and play it by ear when we arrived. As it turned out the care home is a big house in the country with lovely views and full of flowers which mum loved. The manager and his staff could not have done more to help us feel relaxed and mum was quite happy to stay ‘for a few days to be looked after until her house is ready’. I left her chatting away to the other lovely residents over dinner. Am feeling very relieved and comforted to know she is being looked after. Hoping it lasts!
Glad to hear it went well. Be prepared for blips but hopefully things turn out well
