I have said many times what a help it is to have my husband go to daycentre as it has been a major factor in stopping his wandering. On those four days he is tired out with socialising. The remaining three though are extended torture where I have to think up constant ways of keeping him busy yet allowing for his bad knee which limits walking. I use the wheelchair for him but now go to physiotherapy for myself with the effort as well as the stress.
Still he imagines he should be going out meeting his range of dead friends and relatives and I can barely tolerate another moment of the rambling nonsense. Walking on egg shells waiting for another burst of it doesn't even begin to cover how I feel.
Is this time for medication for me do you think? Have others resorted to some kind of tranquilliser to deal with this? I guess I would only have to take the three days a week so maybe it's not that bad.
Hello Marion
You sound exhausted and this to me, means tha t you need additional help with looking after your husband.
I am hoping that you yourself can get some help without needing to resort to medication. My recommendation would be to visit your GP and tell them that you are in difficulty, asking what help is available. You might also call your husbands social worker and ask them to visit as you are feeling very stressed and need help and guidance.
What I did was...
The GP prescribed fizzy paracetamol 4 times a day for my dad to help with his bad hip. The chiropodist made my dad a pad to stop his toe hurting. Then I put in his care plan , and rnequested all his carers to make sure he was walking as much as possible to maintain /improve his mobility. This is so critical to stop your situation getting worse and it w I'll greatly help his mood. I also got help to slowly reduce his weight, since this was also a factor affecting his hip. I got some of those dinner plates and bowls which show portion sizes, and a diet sheet from the GP.
Requested care review with social worker and You can say that he needs additional days at the care centre , extra hours of social care for activities, and or a volunteer to visit. They can help get your dad active and moving to avoid his agitation.
Look into whether sundowning is the cause of this. Info on the AUK web site. Does he drink a lot of caffeine /sugary drinks , maybe you can sub decaffinated, or use sugar substitute which is what we did.
Another thing I did was look around the home and note interesting objects like ornaments, boxes, porcelain , silk scarves, ties, DIY tools, and I brought them out for us to look at, feel, talk about.
I also made sure that his reading glasses wer available and asked neighbours for any left over magazines, like car mags, fishing mags, nature mags, DIY books, gardening books, anything with nice pictures and larger titles that he could look at himself, or we could discuss together. I also bought the "i" newspaper, since it has short colourful articles and a larger size font.
You have probably done many of these things already, but may give u extra ideas.
Whatever please ask for help. If you want help on how to effectively communicate your needs to GP and social worker, in order to get results, call the AUK hotline. They can help with which words to use to trigger action
