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Educating others on Alzheimers


Registered User
Mar 4, 2013
Auckland...... New Zealand
Mum 74, is the oldest of 7. Youngest is 57.
The two youngest of her siblings refuse to beleive there is anything wrong with Mum.
Two siblings are overseas, and make no contact. One sibling has more of an understanding of AD, the other sibling does but doesn't.
None of them see her very often, and when they do she appears somewhat her normal self apart from being quiet.

Yesterday, I took Mum to visit 3 of her siblings for lunch.
Her brother who is a functioning alcoholic, Mum now has taken exception to.
The other week she said she felt like stabbing him with a knife :eek:
Yesterday when she saw him, she screwed up her face, but said Hello.
When he said that he would have to leave to go to work, she said " good we will have some peace".
When he left she begrudgingly let him kiss her cheek. Her brother left and was very subdued. ( this is one who refuses to beleive she has AD)

I think pretty much everyone noticed Mums behaviour, but do I really have to phone any of them ( or her brother) and explain?
Throughout all of this, only one of Mums sisters regularly rings to see how Mum is.
They all have internet and phone... its quite easy to contact the Alzheimers Society for advice and information I feel.


Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
Why does anyone think that being a sibling helps? Most of the "invisibles" are siblings, the first ones there when the wills gets read out are siblings, the ones most likely to be in denial and the ones who visit least are the siblings. The only person with good siblings is an only child (vast generalisation) but not too far off the mark.
My wife has 5 of them, one phone call so far this year.
My late mother in 3 years she lived with me got 3 visits from my 2 siblings (combined, her children) and 2 from her granddaughter in New Zealand, she came halfway round the world twice to see my mum and again for the funeral.
I think sometime maybe siblings just have too much childhood baggage to ever really be friends, just my jaded and jaundiced experience, maybe, but as they say "you pick your friends but you're born with your relatives" How cynical have I become since Doctor Dementia knocked on my families door?


Registered User
May 4, 2013
What is good (and I use the term loosely when linking with dementia) is that we now recognise and talk about dementia, AD etc. in all its forms. We being those who care for loved ones with this awful disease.

Unfortunately it wasn't always the case. It appears that some people, especially those of an older generation are still of the opinion that dementia should be hidden from sight, denied, shameful etc. and that is how they deal with it.

It may be that siblings, in their heart, know that dementia is there, but are in denial. I talk openly about my mothers dementia, for various reasons:

- It helps to talk about it, especially with others in the same situation(ish)
- it helps those around mother to understand why she says and does what appear silly things to us.
- it may help someone else. For me this is the key factor, if sharing my experiences helps one other person then the lessons I have had to learn, sometimes the hard way, have not been in vain.

For every negative there has to be a positive, but finding it sometimes is hard...

Sent from my iPad using Talking Point


Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
I have a very good friend who is a retired nurse. she did not marry until her mid thirties so worked all over the country nursing. Her last years of nursing were spent in our cottage hospital and mostly with the elderly as transition from general hospital to home.

She has been with me for the 10 years that dementia has been part of our life and she often says she wishes she had the knowledge of dementia she now has when she was actually working. We often talk about dementia and most of the time she is the one to start the conversation. She admits that as a nurse her only knowledge was loss of memory. She is 78 so of course she nursed many years ago but I sometimes wonder how much progress has been made since then.


Registered User
Mar 17, 2005
Educating others on dementia , very difficult the age of diagnosed is far younger than it was 50 years ago I was diagnosed myself 16 years ago and I can see the change in stigma and peoples perception on dementia , we now hear of several types of dementia's where it was only one previously , we are told there are hundreds of thousands of people in U.k with a dementia diagnoses of dementia thousands living very active normal lives , unfortunately the number of dementia suffers on talking point members is only about 2 or 3 % I myself joined T.P in March 2005 and along with others not a lot and I could just about name most of them with a diagnoses we have all a different times tried to explain what Living with Dementia is really like , the problem with that we are in the main speaking to carers , who possibly can't relate to us because they are looking after a person with a more advanced stage , personally I think a lot depends on the age of diagnoses , I remember at age of 57 being told I had mild Alzheimer's , had no idea if it was good or bad never heard the word Alzheimer's before , but not the next day I was the same today 16 years on I'm just the same ok obviously 16 years older but apart from some damage to the frontal-lobes or loss of volume the Consultants call it everything is fine , best to be positive I can't remove and its not going to get better that for sure

Cheers Tony

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