1. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire
    Hi!

    My husband has Alzheimer's and is now 63. One of our problems is, is that he just doesn't like any meals that I give him. I have tried everything I possibly can. I have just had a chat to him but he just doesn't take it as seriously as he should do. I think what is the point of doing the hard work of shopping and cooking the meal and him not eating it. The only thing he likes is a thin piece of cheese on toast. I feel like leaving him at the doctor's and telling them I just can't look after him anymore because he just won't eat anything I try. Today I bought him a child's meal and I thought it looked very good but one taste of it and he said he didn't like it.

    I despair.

    Reds x
     
  2. CeliaThePoet

    CeliaThePoet Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    614
    Buffalo, NY, USA
    Is he on any medications which cause a lack of appetite? Is he having mouth or dental pain? There also medicines which can be prescribed to increase appetite; perhaps you can ask a GP about these. Good luck!
     
  3. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire

    Yes he is on a number of different medications. Have had the problem for a few years and been getting worse and worse. I know an awful thing to say but there is really know point in buying the foods and preparing the meals if he is not going to eat them. Its a real ordeal for him!! Also me! I cook myself different meals from him each day as I try to please him no end meal wise. I have tried to tell the doctors and he is on one nutritional milk shake per day now to help. I feel like leaving him at a gps and telling them to feed him!

    Reds
     
  4. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,586
    Female
    Dundee
  5. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire

    Yes. Thanks Izzy always good to read something when in despair! I ought to be used to be problem by now but gets worse and worse and I find it so hard. I can't watch him starve and I am sure he can't live on biscuits, cakes and chocolate x
     
  6. Katrine

    Katrine Registered User

    Jan 20, 2011
    2,850
    England
    I haven't read back through your previous posts, so forgive me if my suggestions aren't helpful. I do understand how worrying this is for you.

    It is often said that any calories are better than none when someone is eating so little. Have you considered abandoning the idea of 'proper meals' in favour of little snacks? It sounds as if your OH has lost his appetite and may find plated dinners too much to cope with.

    If he likes cheese on toast then he can still bite and chew, and may not fancy milkshakes at all. He may need stronger flavours to tempt him. My dad liked cocktail sausages, onion bhagis and other high fat Indian snacks, peanuts (not suitable for anyone liable to choke). He also liked strong cheeses on crackers or toast.

    For sweet snacks you could also try sliced banana, seedless grapes cut in half (not whole), strawberries, small cake slices, squares of chocolate or fudge. If he drinks coffee then add cream not milk.

    Does your OH have a chance to choose his food when you are shopping? Maybe show him a cookery magazine or book with good photographs and see if he says he likes anything.
     
  7. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    When all else failed my mum would eat fruit cake. Plenty of fibre and calories.
     
  8. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,971
    Suffolk
    OH lived on dark chocolate and fresh orange juice for several months. Like you, I tried everything as he lost a lot of weight. I had just given up, que sera sera, then he wanted food. Had to build up gradually, as stomach shrunk, but got there in the end and he lived several years after that.
    I would point out that while he didn't want to eat, nothing appeared to taste nice at all. I just wonder if something happened to taste sensation?
    My advice is to find something he will eat, cheese on toast OK, try some snacks etc as has been suggested, and ride it out. I think it's another dementia phase!
     
  9. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire

    Thank u v much. I can't take him shopping because all he wants to do is approach people. I am pleased to say he has just eaten bananas and custard. I would find it hard not to give him any sort of 'dinner', so I am at the end of my tether. Thanks for helping. Reds x
     
  10. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire

    Thank u. I so wish he would, he has never liked dried fruit :-(.
     
  11. Katrine

    Katrine Registered User

    Jan 20, 2011
    2,850
    England
    I know, it's the habit of a lifetime to think that we must have a good plateful of meat and vegetables once a day. However, when we get older we actually do better with 4-6 small meals, which is where the snack approach fits in.

    If someone has lost their appetite it can be really off-putting to even look at a plated dinner. My dad would take a mouthful or two, then give up. Like you, my mum got quite frustrated because however small the portion she served, it was still "too much."

    He liked his snacks on a small plate to graze on in his own time, without the pressure and formality of sitting down at the dinner table. He started to regain some of the lost weight and eventually could tolerate small meals, once he could cope with cooking smells again.

    In the end my mum had to let him just choose the things he fancied, even though they were high in protein and fat, and not 'a balanced meal'. He never ate green vegetables, hated carrots and fruit, never drank milk, and lived to be almost 89. Perhaps he knew what his body needed? :)
     
  12. Katrine

    Katrine Registered User

    Jan 20, 2011
    2,850
    England
    Bananas and custard IS a balanced meal. Well done! Slow release carbohydrate, vitamins and minerals including calcium, protein, fat, fibre and water. Add more cream for extra calories and you're on to a winner.
     
  13. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire

    Thanks very much Katrine, very helpful :)
     
  14. PalSal

    PalSal Registered User

    My OH eats lots and lots of Movenpick ice cream. No matter about high cholesterol -he needs something.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  15. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire
    Thanks for all replies.

    Yesterday I gave hubby a Shepherds pie, it ended up in the bin. Today fish fingers, beans and some bread with a triangle cheese on it. Ate the bread and one fish finger the rest ended up in the bin. What is the point of cooking for him? Its agony.

    Reds
     
  16. Katrine

    Katrine Registered User

    Jan 20, 2011
    2,850
    England
    Don't despair Reds. I think you are making progress. It does seem as if he prefers food with a firm texture, or finger food.

    Build on what you have learned from those experiments. At the moment at least, he doesn't want soft food with 'bits' in, perhaps because he is worried about choking, or just doesn't like the texture. He liked the firm crunchy shape of the fish finger, and continues to like toast or crackers with cheese. You have there two foods that are a good mix of protein and carbohydrate.

    If he likes breaded fish then you've got another thing you can add to your list of acceptable foods. It's also quick and easy to cook. Would he eat a few chips instead of mashed potato?

    Small quantities of tasty food seems to be the best approach from now on, rather than plated dinners. Keep a food diary to reassure you. I bet if you count up a daily intake of varied finger food snacks you'll find that the nutritional balance and calorie count is much better than you realise.
     
  17. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,024
    Male
    North Manchester

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