- Oct 20, 2019
How does everyone cope with not being there with her all the time. I find it hard to think of her alone but as hard to be there
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It is very very difficult to go through the waiting. Needing to go home but wanting to stay just in case. Wanting it to end but not wanting to lose her. Going home but cannot switch off. I carried my mobile with me around the house, into the garden, to the loo... when the call did come it was on the house phone!How does everyone cope with not being there with her all the time. I find it hard to think of her alone but as hard to be there
I’d love to meet-up but time is a major issue for me between juggling work and looking after both parents not to mention husband and daughterAll I can say is be kind to yourself, you know where I am & it would be lovely to meet up
Totally understand, you know where I am lovelyI’d love to meet-up but time is a major issue for me between juggling work and looking after both parents not to mention husband and daughter
I will text you when I get a spare window of opportunity!
Happy days!Visited the home today: GP has not seen mum and the carer looked surprised that I thought they might. So I explained the conversation that was had on Saturday when I was told they wanted the GP to visit. No information forthcoming so on my way out I asked in the office. Admin staff obviously didn’t want to engage and just kept saying she didn’t know....so I asked when I could speak to someone who did. Under pressure she opened up the diary and there is a note from Saturday saying I’d asked for the GP?? I hadn’t, although I did support it as a plan.
The carer also asked if mum had her children taken away...I said I was one of the children and no she hadn’t. Carer looked disbelieving as if I was covering things up and repeated that mum talked a lot about the children... I said I didn’t recall being taken into care... I left under the impression that the care home gossip is going to be based on Mums confused ramblings which can be pretty interesting!! but bear no relation to my childhood memories. It was all a bit unsettling/irritating.
Mum seemed oblivious to me apart from when she was shouting go away or get out at me
This dementia journey is strange with all its twists & turns. Feistiness is a strength of character that aged mother has in bucketloadsThe carers told my daughter they’d had a couple of days where they wondered if it was that moment they should call us to come....then the next day mum looks strong and belligerent which is as confusing to them as it is to us apparently. Still not eating much but consistently having a few mouthfuls of pudding and some breakfast. Taking milk regularly so I feel she is getting enough considering she doesn’t leave her bed.
She needs a haircut but we are not quite sure how to facilitate this as she moved around a lot and gets angry with any personal care.
I managed nail cutting two days ago when she was calm (first time for quite awhile)
It feels like we may be settling into a calmer pattern now Christmas is over.
Oh lovely I really do feel for you, it’s a difficult process to live through. Hope Mum isn’t in any pain or discomfortShe’s not eaten much for three days...just two spoonfuls of custard. She is drinking milk though. Her skin feels dry. Still a good colour and amazing grip. I find it hard to imagine she is dying. Even writing that is a bit odd.
Keeping this thread is helping me face reality. That includes the fact that this could go on for a long time because it’s painful to watch and thinking it would be quicker is actually more comfortable...but the duration also numbs you to the fact she’s dying so I sometimes feel like it will be an awful shock.
Well there is life & spirit still left in your Mum!Haven’t visited for several days as I’ve been unwell and didn’t wish to share. Today was a difficult visit as she was just angry and shouting. I felt like she didn’t want me there. I felt like she was in discomfort but nothing we can say for certain and this behaviour is not uncommon. Not nice to watch. She wouldn’t drink anything for me and she hadn't eaten anything. However I do know that yesterday she ate and the carers say she regularly drinks.
Her feet and above the ankles looked a mottled purple as if the blood vessels are inflamed. Based on previous experiences I’m not going to worry (much) as no one else seems concerned and quite often you visit the next day and it’s all changed. Hard to suppress those thoughts though