Eating...not eating...drinking..not drinking

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Splashing About, Oct 26, 2019.

  1. Splashing About

    Splashing About Registered User

    Oct 20, 2019
    180
    @DoingthebestIcan you certainly live up to your name.

    This week so far I’ve worked 41 and a half hours. Today I’m going to complete the week working 7- 5:30 (probably run over...) not every week is this busy and from next week I’m going to really try and take some time back to spend with family. But I do find the working juggle very difficult
     
  2. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,830
    juggling life etc is something I’m regularly failing at .... so I have lowered my expectations & just said actually I need time out! Probably why I have a stinking cold! I relaxed!!!

    still it’s one way of recharging batteries. Meanwhile I don’t feel guilty about the fact I can’t care for my PWD personally- I must be moving on ! I am doing my best in the situation I find myself in! No one can do anymore.

    I’m sure if I didn’t work I could commit more time to the caring role but at 51 my working years stretch ahead of me. Retirement seems an unachievable goal at the moment! I try not to think about the future & just hope I manage to get through each day without feeling totally exhausted by life’s little foibles!
     
  3. Splashing About

    Splashing About Registered User

    Oct 20, 2019
    180
    Today: no urine again. Some ice-cream eaten and some milk and juice.

    She looks peaceful and well, but could not be roused all afternoon. Last week she smelt ketoxic-today all fine. Skin looks ok for someone so dehydrated, pulse is regular (thank you pacemaker) and strong. She’s stopped all meds. It’s a miracle of biology.

    I’m struggling with the mental challenge of looking at someone who looks calm and well (having coped with angry and distressed for so long this is good) balanced against the information that she is supposedly end of life. Each day...take it one at a time.
     
  4. Moose1966

    Moose1966 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2017
    118
    Female
    Staffordshire
    Just seen this post and my mum is the same stage . I agree with suspended bereavement that’s so suitable ! My mum also will be asleep all the time so I sit , hold her hand brush her hair etc and then she will just like yours say Go get out just go it’s horrible to hear those words from someone who you love , I know it’s not meant but ouch words hurt ☹️ I usually say ok I’m going now I will see you tomorrow.
     
  5. Splashing About

    Splashing About Registered User

    Oct 20, 2019
    180
    This forum is a revelation because so many of us share the very same experiences and I never anticipated some of the details or difficulties that we are having
     
  6. Moose1966

    Moose1966 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2017
    118
    Female
    Staffordshire
    Yes I’ve visited many times over the last 3 years , usually when I’m feeling alone with illness and symptoms. Family are a great support but sometimes I choose not to discuss it with them maybe trying to keep my home and loved ones protected and leave the horrors at the door . Here I find all the situations I’m dealing with somebody somewhere has or going through the same . Phew I’m not on my own , this roller coaster is very full of troubled but amazingly honest people.
     
  7. Moose1966

    Moose1966 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2017
    118
    Female
    Staffordshire
    Mums illness has been a life changing journey for me , thinking of all on here who are on it also .
     
  8. Splashing About

    Splashing About Registered User

    Oct 20, 2019
    180
    I don’t think anyone has any idea of what dementia/Alzheimer’s truly means unless they experience it day to day. The gentle idea of forgetfulness, confusion and maybe getting a bit lost... most of us have experienced really horrible things along with a society that fears the financial consequences and thus puts up barriers rather than support. The financial cost of dementia to many individuals is huge. It’s not normal ageing- it’s an illness and you’re penalised
     
  9. Splashing About

    Splashing About Registered User

    Oct 20, 2019
    180
    I’m posting because it helps me record where things are. Mum started eating better this week and seems calmer. Every day is different but I sense we’ve not exactly turned a corner but we’ve put the brakes on heading down the road we’re on.
     
  10. Moose1966

    Moose1966 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2017
    118
    Female
    Staffordshire
    It does help to post on here it’s a good timeline and also support from others is tremendous and stops you feeling so alone.
     

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