Hi JanS.
This is a very sensitive situation and a difficult one for the loved ones.
There is a way but it requires discussion with her GP.
It is called Advanced Care Planning. What that means is that in circumstances where there is little benefit or suffering to the individual then a decision can be made in conjunction with the family regarding future care.
It presumes that a DNA CPR order is in place and if that individual becomes unwell then they would be placed on End of Life Care.
The GP would have had to already prescribed Anticipatory Medication to keep her comfortable in the Care Home.
Once the decision is made and the medication delivered from the Pharmacy, the Care Home could ask the District Nurse or the Palliative Care Team to manage the terminal phases.
All this assumes that she is truly at the end and not just unwell because of infection.
The GP will be able to clarify if that is appropriate.
It is probably the only option in your situation and it is still not an easy decision.
Talk to family and make sure everyone is in agreement before speaking to her doctor.
May God be with you.
Problem is with cases like my mother, and her sister before her, is that it is unclear that she is really at 'end of life' each time. With each 'potential emergency event' over the past 4 years, my mother seems to have the capacity to 'rally' back from the brink of death. Not enough to have any QoL afterwards but enough that she continues to keep breathing.
She's shown so many of the end'signs of life' for so many years now.
either sleeping a lot or 'awake' staring into space
being bedbound and completely unable to move/support her own body
pulling back socially and refusal/ or inability to interact with no emotional response
inability to recognise food or what to do with it, dysphagia and little appetite, including weight loss followed by weight gain
frequent episodes of altered states of unconciousness (and for the past 2 + years seizures)
and of course her recent problems with respiratory secretions
but
as many on here know they can live like this for literally years. My aunt lived at the very, very last stage for 6 years.
We've had the DNRAND in place for 5+ years.
She's had the 'Just-in-case' meds prescribed over 2 and a half years ago. Even started the syringe-driver (on a PNS 'as needed' basis) with meds for secretions about three weeks ago.
The NH and I basically disagree about what to do. I maintain that because my mother is so lacking in capacity and they have found ways to circumvent the 'swallowing issue', they treat her rather like a doll, unable to protest. They call that 'compliance' and a willingness to eat/drink. For the past 3 years they just repeat the instruction to swallow, stroking her throat until the food/drink goes down. I have said my mother would probably still class that as 'force-feeding or 'being kept artificially alive', just with the help of human aid rather than a machine.
I am sorry if this offends anyone, but my thoughts are based on my mother's reaction to witnessing her sister 'die' over many years like this and we used to pray every day that she wouldn't end up like this. However God seems to have other ideas.