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Eating and drinking, this little chestnut again!

garfield3

Registered User
Jun 30, 2018
311
0
Hi all,

I’ve had a bit of a wander around and found info and threads about eating and drinking, but not what I’m after. Unless, I’ve missed it.

Update on dad. He’s eating so little. When I’ve been there last week he had 2-5 fingers of KitKats depending on the day. He drinks 1 glass of water a day. I know this is quite a lot of calories compared others who have dementia. The Dr said on Friday, that I should bring in cakes, biscuits, chocolate doesn’t matter as long as it’s calories. He’s still got a catheter in . How long can he last like this. I keep expecting him to totally stop eating soon. He was sitting in a chair yesterday which was good.

I asked the Dr about a hospital social worker and if dad had been seen. He hasn’t got one. They asked if he had one in the community, which he hasn’t. No indication of when he’s moving to the local hospital. Are they not telling me everything and things are worse? Should I be looking at hospice, I don’t know?

Any ideas, most welcome.

Thanks.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
16,776
0
South coast
Hi @garfield3 you are right that when PWD reach end of life they stop eating and drinking all together, but in the stage leading up to this the amount that they eat and drink gradually reduces. This stage can last many months, or just a few weeks - there is just no knowing. It is difficult to know whether your dad is reaching this stage or not. The doctor maybe being overly optimistic, or alternatively he may perk up.

In UK, hospices are not generally geared up to people with dementia and dont really understand their needs, so most people with dementia dont go to a hospice, but usually go to a nursing home instead.
 

garfield3

Registered User
Jun 30, 2018
311
0
Hi @garfield3 you are right that when PWD reach end of life they stop eating and drinking all together, but in the stage leading up to this the amount that they eat and drink gradually reduces. This stage can last many months, or just a few weeks - there is just no knowing. It is difficult to know whether your dad is reaching this stage or not. The doctor maybe being overly optimistic, or alternatively he may perk up.

In UK, hospices are not generally geared up to people with dementia and dont really understand their needs, so most people with dementia dont go to a hospice, but usually go to a nursing home instead.
Thanks for your reply. It’s so stressful and frustrating, not knowing. I need to ask the Dr to be totally honest with me over the situation . Especially,since a week today I’m going home and won’t be back till Xmas, not long ,but a lot can change in a short time.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
6,104
0
Chester
Unfortunately the question you are asking isn't answerable. I've been on this forum a while and some PWD last months and months like this and some last days. In a home your dad could pick up and start eating and have a couple more years or he could take a nose dive tomorrow. The Dr is unlikely to answer your question with anything meaningful as he simply won't know so can't answer.

Likewise I suspect they don't know when a bed will become available at the local hospital as they are waiting for one to become free when someone is discharged.

If you think your dad needs a care/nursing/emi home and he is self funding you can arrange this yourself without a social workers input although I'm aware that personal care is free in Scotland and I think this can only be accessed via an SW assessment.

At the level of confusion your dad is at he is likely to struggle at home with care visits although if he can afford it live in care might work. Again there are routes to accessing free personal care.

I know you want certainty but at this stage of life it just doesn't exist.
 

garfield3

Registered User
Jun 30, 2018
311
0
Unfortunately the question you are asking isn't answerable. I've been on this forum a while and some PWD last months and months like this and some last days. In a home your dad could pick up and start eating and have a couple more years or he could take a nose dive tomorrow. The Dr is unlikely to answer your question with anything meaningful as he simply won't know so can't answer.

Likewise I suspect they don't know when a bed will become available at the local hospital as they are waiting for one to become free when someone is discharged.

If you think your dad needs a care/nursing/emi home and he is self funding you can arrange this yourself without a social workers input although I'm aware that personal care is free in Scotland and I think this can only be accessed via an SW assessment.

At the level of confusion your dad is at he is likely to struggle at home with care visits although if he can afford it live in care might work. Again there are routes to accessing free personal care.

I know you want certainty but at this stage of life it just doesn't exist.
Thanks for the reply. You’re right . I should know better than to ask these questions, since I’ve been through it with mum., but….. I’ve got to be patient and see what happens.
 

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