Early signs

LouieS

Registered User
Feb 21, 2017
2
0
My partner who is 80 has not been diagnosed with dementia (and is generally well) but over the last few months I have noticed 'odd' things he is doing which concern me as they may be early signs of the disease. First and importantly, his driving (previously good). He is easily distracted when driving, even tried to push his coat sleeve up to look at his watch when on the busy motorway doing 70 (the car clock is accurate and easily visible). He was also glancing over at lay-bys on the opposite carriageway which affected his lane position. He only laughed when I told him not to take his eyes off the road. And his speed varies suddenly, on whatever road. He bumps kerbs at times but laughs. Worse was when exiting a motorway, late evening so it was dark, he seemed unable to grasp where the slip road was and almost went into an embankment and big road sign. He said he had been 'trying to work it out' and when I suggested he go for an eye test he was not pleased. He said 'I will give up driving first' - which was an odd reaction and he would not expand on his reason for saying it. I have told him he is not driving again in the dark.
Also he seemed not to recognise where a shop was (we often go to it but had not been for a while) and similarly a cafe we were heading to and visit very regularly. He seemed worried at the time as he didn't know which cafe or where it was (unlike him). Plus I find he puts things away not in their usual place such as a blouse I had left to air hanging on the wardrobe door disappeared. I knew I had not put it away so I looked for it, no luck. I asked if he had seen it; he said no. Later he went to his second smaller wardrobe which I never use and told me I must have put it in there (it was pushed behind his jackets). He said he had never seen it hanging on the wardrobe to air that morning.

Now I have written the above out and read it back I feel things are worse than I thought. I have been trying to 'ignore' things. I do not know what to do now, how to broach the subject with him or if I even should. I cannot discuss it with any family member for various reasons.

I would welcome people's opinion, suggestions and advice. Thank you very much.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
A word with his GP to call him in for a Well Man check or routine hearing test etc. Give the GP a list of your concerns beforehand especially regarding driving.
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
30,072
0
Bury
From what you say his continuing to drive is a risk to anybody in the car and other road users/pedestrians.

For everybody's safety some action has to be taken.

Doctors and opticians only have an ethical duty to report their concerns to the DVLA, the GMC has being trying to get this changed for a few years. All they can say is 'I don't think you should continue driving', only the DVLA can say whether or not a person is fit to drive. If they inform the DVLA of their concerns they risk being accused of breaking patient confidentiality.

As has been said try and get a 'well man' appointment organised and email/drop note in at GP's beforehand. Try to accompany him into the appointment otherwise you will never know what was said and could have difficulty finding out afterwards because of the dreaded patient confidentiality.

Have a read through
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/info/20030/staying_independent/27/driving

If push comes to shove you can anonymously inform the DVLA of your concern
https://emaildvla.direct.gov.uk/emaildvla/cegemail/dvla/en/drivers_med_03.html
 

Guzelle

Registered User
Aug 27, 2016
426
0
Sheffield
My husband's driving was effected early in the disease, he would come home with a damaged wing mirror which was never his fault. He also couldn't remember where the controls were. He eventually hit a bollard in the middle of the road and blamed me which he still does. I got him a GP appointment and told the GP about it as my husband wasn't bothered about the accident at the time. He said I hadn't been in enough accidents that's why I was upset! He has had his license taken off him now. He still blames me though when he remembers about it.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
7,085
0
Chester
I think my mum wasn't safe to drive for sometime before diagnosis, I hadn't realised she had dementia or what it was (I would recognise the signs now) and thought it was an issue with her driving, so took her for to the opticians, where she passed the test with flying colours.

With hindsight it was her spatial awareness failing which was causing difficulties, not her eyesight. There are so many different symptoms of dementia.
 

mary2000

Registered User
Mar 24, 2016
355
0
West Sussex
I certainly recognise what you are saying about your husband in mine. I finally managed (after an epic battle) to get him to give up driving after he knocked someone off his bike. He was lucky the cyclist didn't throw the book at him and all he was concerned about was having his bike repaired. It was a massive wake up call though as I had been on at him for ages to give up. He now tells people it was his idea to give up and I don't argue with him.

You obviously realise it needs to be sorted sooner rather than later and I agree with those who have said you need to speak to the GP about this and your other concerns.

My husband has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment although he is currently being reassessed again due to decline. I really hope you get some answers and that you can work with your husband in getting him to stop driving as it must be such a worry to you.

x
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,776
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
I agree

A word with his GP to call him in for a Well Man check or routine hearing test etc. Give the GP a list of your concerns beforehand especially regarding driving.

I wrote to my partners GP and asked them to give a memory test at next visit and they did and diagnosis confirmed Alzheimer's. Early diagnosis helps for medication etc.
 

LouieS

Registered User
Feb 21, 2017
2
0
Thank you!

Thank you for the information and advice, which is really helpful, and for taking the time to write it.

I certainly recognise what you are saying about your husband in mine. I finally managed (after an epic battle) to get him to give up driving after he knocked someone off his bike. He was lucky the cyclist didn't throw the book at him and all he was concerned about was having his bike repaired. It was a massive wake up call though as I had been on at him for ages to give up. He now tells people it was his idea to give up and I don't argue with him.

You obviously realise it needs to be sorted sooner rather than later and I agree with those who have said you need to speak to the GP about this and your other concerns.

My husband has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment although he is currently being reassessed again due to decline. I really hope you get some answers and that you can work with your husband in getting him to stop driving as it must be such a worry to you.

x
 

Roseleigh

Registered User
Dec 26, 2016
347
0
My husband was diagnosed last June but we'd had some suspicions since over a year before. You can actually download a Mini Mental state test which is basically what a GP uses as an initial test. Your husband might be happy to try it with you as tester.
You will probably find that now you are aware of a problem that you will start noticing other little things as well.
 

Azure9

Registered User
Jan 13, 2017
15
0
Singapore
A test will help you determine him get dementia or not. My father was diagnosed last month and he also has similar symptions like your parner.