My father is 89. He has been a widower for 15 years and has been very self sufficient during this time. He still has a social life (to a degree, as he is very deaf and finds a lot of situations difficult to keep up with due to his hearing impairment), he still drives his car (in daylight only!), irons, cooks..... I am 38 and have two young children, but I do manage to help around the house - cleaning, buying frozen meals, gardening etc. I have recently noticed Dad is getting more forgetful than usual, over very minor things. He puts his oven chips in the fridge rather than the freezer, loses his cheque book, doesn't know what day it is, goes on a coach trip and doesn't remember where he's been by the time he gets home, can't remember if he's eaten at lunchtime or what he ate. Does this sound familiar? He has always been a little forgetful and considering his age, I have always been proud that he's so "with it", but recently he seems worse. Firstly, I put it down to going a bit stir-crazy being in his house for most of the day, alone. We all forget what day it is when we're on holiday, so being at home constantly makes this acceptable - I think! I don't know how closely I should monitor him, how much of a deal I should make of his forgetfulness or whether to ignore it and pretend it's not happening - for his sake, and mine. He is a very proud man and has a lot of dignity. I am afraid he will lose this if he becomes dependent on me. He would hate it. He has always maintained that he should go into a home when the time comes.... He also has always been fanatical about not losing his house, to pay for care, as he sees it as what he has worked for to leave to me and my sister. He has such strong views on this, that we have twice visited our solicitor to talk about signing the house over to us. We have always been advised against this, for various reasons, but mainly that a)my sister is separated, amicably, but the solicitor sees this as a potential threat and b)my dad would no longer have a right to stay in his home if a family rift arose and we asked him to leave - over my dead body, but I understand where the solicitor was coming from. Anyway, is alzheimers a recognised illness that enables people, when the time comes, to go into a care home without losing the family house? I know nothing about this disease, except my Grandmother (my Dad's mother) had it. She lived to 96, but didn't recognise us for most of our childhood years. I knew her for 15 years of my life, never got to know her and it's all so very sad. What do you do first? Could this all just be an elderly man being forgetful? He leaves his oven on, sometimes, his door open, his pond filling up with a hose.... the list goes on, and I feel that I should call in a couple of times a day to see if he's OK. Help!!