Please advise me, kind people: my OH was diagnosed in Feb 2013.(he's 72 and had been just a bit vague and forgetful for quite a long time before that. He's not severely ill - if you didn't know him you might not spot that there was anything wrong. I was with him when he was given the diagnosis in the hospital, and driving home I said 'Well there's a thing' and he said 'Yes' . since when we have never mentioned it again. He lets me drive much more than he used to, which is a good thing, and very unusual, but otherwise we make no reference to the illness. He forgets his words and has difficulty sometimes in saying whta he wants to, and as I mostly know what he's trying to say I try gently to help him along with the thought/sentence: so Question 1: should I do that ? It looks bossy and interfering to outsiders, but I don't care about that - I just want him to be happy.
And then, I was talking to a very old friend of his who suggested that he might actually be wanting to talk about it (as we never do) and why didn't I just gently ask him if he'd like to talk about it. (He is religious about taking his Aricept, which made quite a big difference to him when he started it, so he does know what's going on or he wouldn't take them) but we have never talked about heavy stuff very much, and I don't want to upset things by introducing the subject. On the other hand, every day is like walking through a minefield. So Question 2: should I ask him if he'd like to talk about it ?And Question 3: is there a book, leaflet, anything at all which has guidance for spouses about this stage of the illness ? My mother had very severe dementia which came upon her suddenly, so I know quite a lot about that end of the illness, but negotiating the beginning of it is something I know nothing about Thank you very much in advance anyone who can give me any ideas at all.
And then, I was talking to a very old friend of his who suggested that he might actually be wanting to talk about it (as we never do) and why didn't I just gently ask him if he'd like to talk about it. (He is religious about taking his Aricept, which made quite a big difference to him when he started it, so he does know what's going on or he wouldn't take them) but we have never talked about heavy stuff very much, and I don't want to upset things by introducing the subject. On the other hand, every day is like walking through a minefield. So Question 2: should I ask him if he'd like to talk about it ?And Question 3: is there a book, leaflet, anything at all which has guidance for spouses about this stage of the illness ? My mother had very severe dementia which came upon her suddenly, so I know quite a lot about that end of the illness, but negotiating the beginning of it is something I know nothing about Thank you very much in advance anyone who can give me any ideas at all.
