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Early closing curtains...

Pennie

Registered User
Jun 16, 2013
247
0
Somerset
It's her place unfortunately so makes things difficult.

She's the most stubborn woman I've ever met - and that was pre-dementia - now I cannot suggest anything without being shot down in flames.

I've just picked her up from a friend who kindly took her to the theatre this evening. When she got in the car there was an overpowering smell of underarm odour. I asked if she had any deodorant and if she was using it but she said 'oh I can't be bothered with that'. When I pointed out she was pretty niffy she said she didn't care she couldn't smell it. Fab - I can but apparently I just have to put up with it. Wouldn't mind but the friend who took her out this evening has asked her to shower when she has turned up at her place before now and off she meekly goes to do as she's told. It's SO frustrating.
Sorry, went on a mini rant there - couldn't help myself. Apologies!

Is there any chance that her friend could help you by suggesting more often?
 

artyfarty

Registered User
Oct 30, 2009
267
0
London
Hi Pennie

It's possible her friend could help but I hate to ask her to do anything else. She's been absolutely brilliant and done far more for her than any of my invisible siblings.

Perhaps I just need to get myself a peg for my nose!
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,289
0
SW London
Can anyone shed any light on why my mother wants the curtains closed in the sitting room (where she sits) so early on wonderful summer afternoons/early evening?

I managed to dissuade (?sp) her from getting me to close them at 5 o'clock this afternoon, but finally had to give in at 8pm when there was still plenty of evening light.:(

I am afraid that I ate my supper in the kitchen tonight, as I couldn't bare to be shut in by curtains on a lovely evening and my husband isn't back yet to support me in keeping them open.

Does anyone else suffer from this?

Not any more, but I did, and I do so sympathise. My mother had an absolute Thing about closing any open windows and all the curtains at around 5 pm, even in the middle of summer, in a stifling heatwave - and she was smoking a lot at the time, too. It was unbearable. I was forever opening them all again - I would tell her that otherwise I would simply have to go home - and I would show her the neighbours' houses opposite - windows and curtains all wide open. 'Look! Everybody else's windows and curtains are open because it's so hot!'
Nothing made a scrap of difference. As soon as I went into the kitchen or to the loo, she would close them all again.
I don't know what you can do, to be honest. I found that (as usual with dementia) no logical argument made any difference. It was like talking to a brick wall - a brick wall that only understands Martian.
 

dora

Registered User
Aug 1, 2007
148
0
England
Mum has been treated for wet macular degeneration and is virtually blind in one eye anyway, but I would have thought having more light would be helpful.:confused:

My FIL (does not have dementia) is registered blind with macular problems and he cannot tolerate bright light - it dazzles him - and he closes the curtains when the sun shines in.
 

velo70

Registered User
Sep 20, 2012
177
0
Devon
Closing the curtains

I think it must be a privacy-security thing that develops. My wife goes round our bungalow about tea time and closes all the doors, windows, curtains, and occasionally locks the doors too. Usually hiding the key! (I now have spare keys). Also memory is worsening at this time. Went for a family reunion of her siblings, last week. I have taken and printed off some pictures, but she now has difficulty putting a name of sister or brother to the face, though she still recognises them as 'nice people. I suppose every case is different, and the each sufferer behaves differently. So sad and depressing to witness. It remains, for us, an awful journey.
 

LindyLu

Registered User
May 14, 2013
5
0
London
My mother has very poor eyesight so wants all the lights on all of the time. I spend half my day going round switching off the ones not actually in the same room as her. Hate to think what my electricity bill is going to be like.

In mid-late afternoon she starts talking about 'this time of night'. Take her out for a pot of tea and she says 'How come there are so many people out at this time of night?' If I tell I'm going to Sainsbury's she says 'Oh, be careful. I don't like you being out late at night.'

And if she has a snooze during the day, when she wakes up it's 'breakfast' time. Try and give her her dinner rather than breakfast and she's completely confused. Her whole perspective of 'day' and 'night' seems to have changed.
 

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