Dying at home

[Doggy86*]

Hi.

I just wanted to ask if anyone has nursed a loved one at home till they have passed, my Mums wish is to die at home. I am scared and worried about this.

We are in touch with palliative care and have the end of life medication at home, but it would be good to hear from someone who has experienced this.

Thank you.

 

[Shedrech]

Hello @Doggy86*
A warm welcome to DTP
such a challenging and worrying time for you ... It's good that you have meds and support

There are members who have experienced the death of a loved one at home, given time they may see your post and respond

You may find this current thread of help
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/how-long-can-mum-survive-with-no-fluids.117311/#post-1652313

 

[Izzy]

Hi @Doggy86*. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum.

My mum had vascular dementia, she lived with us and she died at home. I can understand your need to know more of what might be ahead of you. Like you we had the support of a palliative team and the end of life medications and ‘just in case’ box at home. We were very lucky to have the services of some over night sits from Marie Cure nurses. These were organised by our local district nurse service. One of the most useful things I got from them was a booklet on end of life. This link gives the same information I had in the booklet -

https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/terminal-illness/preparing/what-to-expect

Thinking of you. Wishing you strength and wishing your mum peace.

 

[Cat27]

I did for both my Mum & Dad.
Both times the support from the GP & district nurses was amazing. My main problem was the lack of sleep. I had about 10 hours in total over the space of a week as no night sits were available.

 

[Izzy]

Me again @Doggy86*.

I just had another thought. The most valuable thing said to me was by a district nurse. She said ‘I think it’s going to be tonight’. That allowed me time to get my brother through to be with us and to get care organised for my husband, who had no idea about what was going on. She was right. My mu died in the early hours. I’m glad the nurse was honest with me.

 

[RosettaT]

My mum was 91 she lived on her own until the last 48hrs. Although she was deteriorating she suddenly took a turn for the worse and we called Marie Curie who came and sat with her the last 2 nights as well as administering the end of life meds. When she passed we called the district nurse who had co-ordinated everthing on our behalf. It was she who confirmed end of life and dealt with the private ambulance. We didn't have to do anything other than make a couple of calls to numbers we had been given.

 

[Lellyhelly]

My husband, who was very ill with cancer desperately wanted to come home from hospital in his final days. I was so pleased that this was arranged. The hospital bed and carers were organised by 'hospice at home' and we were able to have a wonderful Marie Curie nurse at night. She was really an angel on earth. Our children were able to be with their dad in his last few hours and we were all with him when he died. Not only give comfort to him, but gave us so much solace, especially knowing we had fulfilled his final wish .This was 7 years ago and continues to help sustain his memory. I so hope you are able to get the help to be with your mum to the end and in her own home.

 

[Lawson58]

Hi.

I just wanted to ask if anyone has nursed a loved one at home till they have passed, my Mums wish is to die at home. I am scared and worried about this.

We are in touch with palliative care and have the end of life medication at home, but it would be good to hear from someone who has experienced this.

Thank you.

If you think you can keep your mum comfortable then why not let her be at home? Going back years ago, most people died at home and I think it would be most people's preference would be to do that. You have obviously put things in place to support both her and you.

You have a difficult time ahead of you and I wish you strength and peace during the coming days.

 

[Duggies-girl]

Hi.

I just wanted to ask if anyone has nursed a loved one at home till they have passed, my Mums wish is to die at home. I am scared and worried about this.

We are in touch with palliative care and have the end of life medication at home, but it would be good to hear from someone who has experienced this.

Thank you.

Hi @Doggy86* I am looking after dad in his own home and his wish is to die at home. It is very hard, dad was diagnosed with an advanced cancer way over a year ago and due to his frail state and palliative care only I did not expect him to still be here now but he is. I am truly amazed at how such a frail and sick person manages to recover from so many setbacks and just carry on but he does.

We don't have any medication at home yet because he is not that bad but we get a monthly call from the hospice to check how is is and I am grateful for that. To be honest I can see dad going on for a long time yet but who knows. I agree it's scary and I cannot promise that dad will die at home. He may well be better off in a hospice and it is likely that he won't know where he is anyway.

Sorry I am not a lot of help to you but I wish you well and lots of strength.

 

[Doggy86*]

I am looking after dad in his own home and his wish is to die at home. It is very hard, dad was diagnosed with an advanced cancer way over a year ago and due to his frail state and palliative care only I did not expect him to still be here now but he is. I am truly amazed at how such a frail and sick person manages to recover from so many setbacks and just carry on but he does.

We don't have any medication at home yet because he is not that bad but we get a monthly call from the hospice to check how is is and I am grateful for that. To be honest I can see dad going on for a long time yet but who knows. I agree it's scary and I cannot promise that dad will die at home. He may well be better off in a hospice and it is likely that he won't know where he is anyway.

Sorry I am not a lot of help to you but I wish you well and lots of strength.[/QUOTE]

@Doggy86* I am looking after dad in his own home and his wish is to die at home. It is very hard, dad was diagnosed with an advanced cancer way over a year ago and due to his frail state and palliative care only I did not expect him to still be here now but he is. I am truly amazed at how such a frail and sick person manages to recover from so many setbacks and just carry on but he does.

We don't have any medication at home yet because he is not that bad but we get a monthly call from the hospice to check how is is and I am grateful for that. To be honest I can see dad going on for a long time yet but who knows. I agree it's scary and I cannot promise that dad will die at home. He may well be better off in a hospice and it is likely that he won't know where he is anyway.

Sorry I am not a lot of help to you but I wish you well and lots of strength.[/QUOTE]

 

[Doggy86*]

Thank you to all of you who gave me advice, its good know that is will be ok although it will be very difficult and sad to go through it but we wouldn't have it any other way.

My Mum is very up and down, she is ok at the moment, but I know she is getting frail and she has lost a lot of weight.

Thank You again

 

[Daffy123]

I found it easy and gentle happening at home. Familiar, surroundings and home conforms. Less, of a strain. Support, was offered but was not needed, except for some basic needs.

 

[AliceA]

My close friend died at home, it was peaceful with music and poems, family sharing and some laughter.
She did have the advantage of two senior nurses in her family but they mainly let the Carers and nurses supplied deal with her body. They were involved with a peaceful loving end. X