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Drowning

Kavhnll

New member
Aug 3, 2022
1
0
My mom is in the process of being diagnosed. It fills me with such dread. To be honest I am scared. The doctor told my dad the numbers she scored and while he didn't know what they meant, I work in healthcare so I know what it means. So I am the only one in the family that knows this. I don't want to burden my dad and brother with the knowledge before the diagnosis is official. So I have no one to talk to and keeping this inside I am having lots of panic attacks and sudden bursts of tears.I'm so sad for my mom. She would be so embarrassed , because she has always been smart and social. I would rather give my life so that she wouldn't have to have this. I am just so lost. Neither of my parents have been sick before. I am a mess, hiding and crying because I don't want anyone to see me, I don't know what I am going to do. I can't loose my mom.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
5,035
0
Nottinghamshire
Hi @Kavhnll, and a warm welcome to Dementia Talking Point. You'll find this a very friendly and supportive place and there is always someone around to listen.
I guess your dad and brother probably already have an inking that something is seriously awry with your mom. Maybe ask them both some general questions and see what they are thinking. You may find that all three of you are worried and not wanting to worry the other two. If you could support each other you may find that helps. You won't be able to change the diagnosis but maybe start looking at things that can be put in place to help your mom. I'm not sure if you are in the UK, but this might be a good place to start when talking to your mom and wider family after the official diagnosis.
I'm sure others will be along very shortly with their suggestions as to how to help you and your mom at this difficult time.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
6,412
0
Nottinghamshire
Hi @Kavhnll .

I was “lucky” enough to be completely ignorant about dementia when my mum was diagnosed - I honestly thought it was just about memory and we’d be able to cope with it as a family. I soon found out it wasn’t just about memory and my other siblings couldn’t be seen for dust!

I agree with @Sarasa that your mum and dad probably know what’s coming - my mum knew she had dementia long before she was diagnosed and we didn’t believe her. Talk to everyone involved, you may find they’ll be relieved to share their worries with you. Your mum will still be with you for a while yet, maybe not the mum you have been used to but still your mum.

My dad was main carer for my mum and we managed a few good years before things became difficult. Try not to think about what might happen and live for the moment. It’s not all bad.
 

T1000

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
130
0
I am so sorry to hear this. It is very hard to hear that it is certain, and changes everything. You will hopefully be able to support eachother and this may make a difference for you. That plus any extra carers, courses etc may be helpful. I have found Alzheimers society wonderful and very supportive.