Hello Everyone
I expect everyone is fed up of me and my saga with my mother.
Please can I ask for some support and advice?
My 90 year old mother has been showing signs of forgetfulness, vagueness and confusion for the past year. She is waiting to be referred to the memory clinic but she has no idea because I have been in contact with her GP sort of behind her back.
I have always be very close to Mum both geographically and emotionally but since I had had doubts about her mental health we have sort of drifted apart.
Mum has proved to be very difficult and stubborn, especially about getting an LPA because she was convinced that we were after her money and were going to put her in a home. She has refused any help around her house and says that she just wants to be left alone. Mum is coping okay actually (well, just about) provided that I drop everything to help her when things go wrong, which I have now stopped doing.
I find her very difficult to cope with and these angry outbursts are certainly something new.
Mum is still driving (!) despite having Glaucoma (which she has drops for but is not taking), arthritic hands, curvature of the spine and being very deaf and now there is possible dementia. I have reported this to the DVLA because I am worried about her and Mum received the letter this morning. She phoned me today very angry and accused me of doing this, which I denied, she was furious saying that I had taken away the little bit freedom she had....
This seems just to chip away at our relationship, Mum used to trust me but now she eyes me with suspicion, says that I want to put her in a home and is just generally...'arsy' which I find very hurtful. I tell myself that I'm doing all of this for her own good but I am wondering now if I have done the right thing. She knows that I have spoken to the GP about her and she is angry with me about that too.
How do I deal with this? She lives next door to me so it is right in my face but on the other hand, she is 90, living on her own and there is no-one to look out for her.
Any thoughts or experiences would be most gratefully received.
I expect everyone is fed up of me and my saga with my mother.
Please can I ask for some support and advice?
My 90 year old mother has been showing signs of forgetfulness, vagueness and confusion for the past year. She is waiting to be referred to the memory clinic but she has no idea because I have been in contact with her GP sort of behind her back.
I have always be very close to Mum both geographically and emotionally but since I had had doubts about her mental health we have sort of drifted apart.
Mum has proved to be very difficult and stubborn, especially about getting an LPA because she was convinced that we were after her money and were going to put her in a home. She has refused any help around her house and says that she just wants to be left alone. Mum is coping okay actually (well, just about) provided that I drop everything to help her when things go wrong, which I have now stopped doing.
I find her very difficult to cope with and these angry outbursts are certainly something new.
Mum is still driving (!) despite having Glaucoma (which she has drops for but is not taking), arthritic hands, curvature of the spine and being very deaf and now there is possible dementia. I have reported this to the DVLA because I am worried about her and Mum received the letter this morning. She phoned me today very angry and accused me of doing this, which I denied, she was furious saying that I had taken away the little bit freedom she had....
This seems just to chip away at our relationship, Mum used to trust me but now she eyes me with suspicion, says that I want to put her in a home and is just generally...'arsy' which I find very hurtful. I tell myself that I'm doing all of this for her own good but I am wondering now if I have done the right thing. She knows that I have spoken to the GP about her and she is angry with me about that too.
How do I deal with this? She lives next door to me so it is right in my face but on the other hand, she is 90, living on her own and there is no-one to look out for her.
Any thoughts or experiences would be most gratefully received.
