Driving

[annesharlie]

Hard as the last two weeks have been, yesterday was another blow - we learn that it has been reccommended for Ron not to drive. I am actually cross about this as I have NEVER felt in ANY way unsafe with him driving - I understand just what a loss this is. There is a faint hope - he's to do a full assessment with Drive Able in Victoria and they'll have the final say, but can't drive till this is done, and it's going to be two months or more till they fit him in.

It's just been so hard to see all this so quickly, his loss of his identity and self esteem with having to stop practising as a doctor, his loss of hope for a wonderful future, his loss of independence now.

I don't actually know what I need you all to say right now, it's just such a help that others have gone this path before me. Sorry for posting again so soon. It's just a rough time right now!

Anne

 

[Tony Green]

Driving Licence

I live North of Victoria on the Saanich Penninsula. I feel for your Husbands predicamemt re. driving.
I am 67 and was confirmed with dementia about 2 years ago. My Psychologist on one of my 2nd or 3rd appointments advised that he would have, in time, to report and have my Driving Licence Deleted. I was very upset knowing that my Driving Licence would be taken from me. So far all is well, but I realize that it will happen. I have never had an automobile accident of my fault. (I was stopped behind 3 cars at a stop for a pedestriant crossing. His vehicle was demolished)
I know that some time, sooner or later I will be walking or riding a bike.

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Tony. Welcome to Talking Point.

I hope you will continue to use this site. You will make lots of friends who understand all you`re having to tolerate, and , as a sufferer yourself, perhaps be able to give carers some further insight into the trials of dementia.

We are trying to encourage more people with dementia to use this site, but are aware it`s not the easiest to navigate. This applies to all new members, not just those with dementia.

If you have any difficulty accessing any information, or specific Thread or Post, please do not hesitate to let us know.

 

[Skye]

Hi Anne

First of all, don't apologise for posting. We're here on TP to listen to your problems and try to help, but also to learn from them. So post as often as you like.

The subject of driving is a hugely emotive issue, more so for men, I think. Driving has always been associated from boyhood with masculinity, and to have that taken away, just when they are trying to come to terms with a diagnosis of dementia, and in your case with the loss of a profession, is almost the last straw.

I do understand your upset. I had exactly the same problem with my husband. He lost his licence on diagnosis, and was devastated.

However, he improved so much on galantamine that we applied and had it restored, subject to annual renewal. He kept it for a further three years. He didn't have to take a test, just a recommendation from the GP.

I don't know if this is a possibility for you, but it might be worth a try.

Tony, welcome to TP. I hope you manage to keep your licence for as long as possible.

Love,

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Anne,

If you search Driving, [use the Search Tab at the top of the page], you will see how many people have had the same struggle re giving it up . It`s one of the most difficult things to come to terms with and responsible for so much loss of self esteem and dignity.

My heart goes out to you and your husband, as we`ve been there and so have all the other members.

With Alzheimers and dementia, it`s not just the diagnosis that brings the heartache.

Your husband might be allowed to drive for the time being. My husband gave me more than cause for concern, before he was forced to stop.

Take care

 

[louise@weinprop]

Hello to all those TP Members - I have not been in contact for a long while, but use this site to maintain my sanity on a regular basis. My husband was diagnosed at 57 and is now 60. He had his car stolen at the golf club, because he left his access card and keys in it. In South Africa (we live in Johannesburg) your licence has to be renewed every 5 years so I just told him I could not replace his car because he would not pass an oral test again. It did the trick but oh what depression we went through. I bought him a bicycle which he uses around the block etc just to give him a bit of freedom (fully labeled however in case he gets lost.
Keep up the good work, I would never be able to handle this illness if it were not for this site.
Kind regards
Louise

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Louise, it`s good to hear from you.

Thank you for your contribution and lets hope you don`t leave it so long before you post again.

Take care

 

[annesharlie]

Thank you all for your notes.
Tony - you understand more than these UK people how it's really hard to get about without a car in our area. We're on the side of a mountain, so it's a real slog to get up and we're quite a distance from town... In the UK the bus and train service is so brilliant, but then, there is the problem that will obviously come, when the person looses where they are or forgets the schedule, and that's a scary thought. At least here he'll have to depend on me picking him up and so won't get lost. I am just going to approach it like this - when I had three younger kids, they were all in various activities and school and I coped with driving them around and killing time when they were attending whatever it was. So now I'm back to that - working my day around what he needs to do. I certainly feel very strongly that he MUST not just sit at home ( with me trying to think of simple chores!) I want him to volunteer or swim or something. The OT comes tomorrow and I am hoping will provide lots of suggestions as to what to do.

Skye, I'm going to ask about that drug you suggest. Maybe it will help.

One has to enjoy what small moments of humour there are in all this - the kids and i had a chuckle yesterday, the tin of cookies was put into the fridge! David (my oldest) said well, mom, at least it isn't the milk in the oven!

Have a good week all
Anne