It's a crazy system. The onus is on the family....again!! But family members don't want to be seen as the 'bad' people and will let things continue too far. They probably don't even inform the insurance company, so there are people with dementia who are driving and likely a risk to the public....and uninsured (when there is an accident and the insurance company find out about the diagnosis then they will refuse to pay up).
Really there needs to be some way, that when you are diagnosed the ability to drive is monitored on a statutory basis. The only problem is that this would be another reason to put people off getting diagnosed. I wonder what they do in other countries?
You're right that we don't want to be the "bad guy" in stopping our loved ones driving, I certainly don't want to be the one to tell my Mum as I know it will be seen as losing her independence and will make her very depressed
but if I had to I would.
On her diagnosis 6yrs ago we were told by the Doctor at the Older Person's Memory Clinic that the DVLA and Insurance Company must be told which we did. Mum was put on a yearly licence and has undergone eye tests and/or medicals most years on top of being tested by someone at the Memory Clinic, these have then all gone back to the DVLA who has given my Mum her licence back each year. She has been told not to drive at night or to go anywhere she doesn't know which she has kept to, she now really only uses the car to go to the Supermarket. I periodically go in her car as a passenger to "assess" her driving and so far the only thing I could pick her up on was she was revving the engine really hard due to not changing gears when she should, this could be partly because she cannot hear the engine screaming due to being very hard of hearing (totally deaf in one ear). Mum is currently waiting to hear if she is going to get her licence back this year having undergone a medical and a visit from the Memory Clinic, in one way I hope they stop her but in another if they see no reason for not giving her her licence back then who am I to say different? I think she is getting a little worried about driving these days anyway, she hardly uses the car and when she does she is doing less than a 2 mile round trip, this is a lady who loved driving around and did so most days just to get out of the house.
If the DVLA are stopping people driving from the onset then they must have a good reason for doing so, maybe from the information given to them by whoever diagnosed the person? It IS statuary for the DVLA to review a person diagnosed with Alzheimers/Dementia every year or so and they can order a driving evaluation to be carried out if they have doubts whether to re-new the licence which they pay for and is carried out by an Independant Driving Instructors, I know the Disability Resource Center in Luton has such a department.