Driving question
- Thread starter Jessie107
- Start date
Jessie, in case nobody has said it, welcome to TP.
I think in the UK you have to notify the DVLA and also the insurance company. Here is some information from the UK Alzheimer's Society that I hope will be helpful.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=144
Best wishes to you.
I think in the UK you have to notify the DVLA and also the insurance company. Here is some information from the UK Alzheimer's Society that I hope will be helpful.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=144
Best wishes to you.
Jessie, you are quite welcome for both the welcome and the information. I hope all is as well as possible for you.
Kind regards,
Amy
Kind regards,
Amy
Hi Jess
I've posted a few things about my sister and driving if you would like to read them. Don't know if it will be helpful but I've had quite a bit of experience about trying to deal with it.
You do need to inform insurance and the dvla. It takes the dvla an eternity to deal with it, it's shameful how long the process is. If you are worried get the gp to write to the dvla, it takes away from you about being the person who stopped them from driving.
Good luck
Terry
Welcome Jess, we had to inform the DVLA and my husband had to do a driving assessment. He passed with no faults and now gets tested once a year as he only gets a yearly licence. We are 5 years into our journey and hubs still legally drives
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It seems to be that if the person concerned has vascular dementia, or a mixed dementia of which vas dem is a component, the DVLA are likely to withdraw the licence as soon as notified. They have to be notified on diagnosis, btw.
If it's another form of dementia, they might not bother, and that's when there is often problems.
OH had mixed dementia, he was stopped immediately. He took the driving assessment, starting on a 'rig'. They failed him for not pushing the brake hard enough! As he pointed out, his own vehicle, a small pickup, was light on the brakes, the rig obviously wasn't!
I'd been out with him a few days beforehand and he was fine! It was losing his way that was the problem!
If it's another form of dementia, they might not bother, and that's when there is often problems.
OH had mixed dementia, he was stopped immediately. He took the driving assessment, starting on a 'rig'. They failed him for not pushing the brake hard enough! As he pointed out, his own vehicle, a small pickup, was light on the brakes, the rig obviously wasn't!
I'd been out with him a few days beforehand and he was fine! It was losing his way that was the problem!
The DVLA took over a year to finally withdraw my dads licence (after being diagnosed), as the MC wouldn't respond to the requests for information about the severity of his condition. My dad was adamant that he was capable of driving, and would only stop when the dvla rubber stamped the licence withdrawal allowing us to dispose of his car. In the end it was a combination of the family's concerns to get the GP to take control and respond to DVLA's requests, the GP then took the decision to stop him driving.
My mum was becoming a danger on the road through her dementia. She wouldn't hear of giving up driving so I told her that when it was her next birthday she would have to take a new driving test and also would have to see her GP to get a full health check - both physically and mentally because of her age. She accepted that she wouldn't pass a new test and didn't want to go to the doctors so agreed to give up her car. Maybe this wouldn't work for everyone but I had to get her off the road!
Hi
My sister, who has been told by 3 doctors, the dvla and an assessment centre, that she canott drive still wants to keep her car in the hope that she will be able to drive again.
I have the painful experience this week of convincing her to sell the car. She has just organised a funeral plan that can be financed by the sale of her car. It has been really difficult trying to make her understand how this all makes sense.
Am I being cruel making her sell the car? My biggest worry is that she will forget she can't drive and get in the car and use it.
Any help her?
Thanks
Terry
My sister, who has been told by 3 doctors, the dvla and an assessment centre, that she canott drive still wants to keep her car in the hope that she will be able to drive again.
I have the painful experience this week of convincing her to sell the car. She has just organised a funeral plan that can be financed by the sale of her car. It has been really difficult trying to make her understand how this all makes sense.
Am I being cruel making her sell the car? My biggest worry is that she will forget she can't drive and get in the car and use it.
Any help her?
Thanks
Terry
Terry, I don't know that I have great advice for you, but lots of sympathy. My mother would not give up driving and had 2 accidents (that I know of). I was lucky she did not kill or injure somebody or herself. This was before her diagnosis but as you can imagine it was very stressful and upsetting. So I hope you can find a way forward.
Best wishes.
Best wishes.
Thank you Amy, I am going down on Thursday and going to sell the car, I've had better things to look forward to.
Will post the fallout later this week!
Terry, sending you very best wishes for Thursday and will be thinking of you on the day.
If at all possible, find somebody else to blame the sale of the car on: the doctor, the DVLA, the insurance company, a problem with the car, anything other than you. "I know you want to keep the car, and I'm sorry; however, the DVLA have revoked your license." Or whatever you think will work.
My mother has been in her care home for a year and a half now, but often when we take her out, she will say, I need to go to car shopping! (I think it's prompted by seeing cars in the parking lots and on the road-she likes to go for rides in the car.) I always say, of course we will go car shopping, but then I'll say, but let's have lunch first, or we need to get the groceries home before the ice cream melts, or I'm too tired to go today, or something like that, and she always agrees and it's forgotten in a few minutes. (I'm "lucky" that she has no short-term memory, in addition to her Alzheimer's.)
I don't think you're being cruel, you're being practical. However, as you know, dementia and logic are mutually exclusive and you likely won't be able to explain it to your sister or get her to "accept" it.
Best of luck to you.
If at all possible, find somebody else to blame the sale of the car on: the doctor, the DVLA, the insurance company, a problem with the car, anything other than you. "I know you want to keep the car, and I'm sorry; however, the DVLA have revoked your license." Or whatever you think will work.
My mother has been in her care home for a year and a half now, but often when we take her out, she will say, I need to go to car shopping! (I think it's prompted by seeing cars in the parking lots and on the road-she likes to go for rides in the car.) I always say, of course we will go car shopping, but then I'll say, but let's have lunch first, or we need to get the groceries home before the ice cream melts, or I'm too tired to go today, or something like that, and she always agrees and it's forgotten in a few minutes. (I'm "lucky" that she has no short-term memory, in addition to her Alzheimer's.)
I don't think you're being cruel, you're being practical. However, as you know, dementia and logic are mutually exclusive and you likely won't be able to explain it to your sister or get her to "accept" it.
Best of luck to you.
Hi Amy, thank you for your kind words, it was very painful. My elder sister and I tried to convince Shirley to sell the car but she just flatly refused to do it on that day, I said tell me a day when you would be prepared to sell it but she just kept saying not today. We went round and round in cicles for over 3 hours and then, to my shame, I lost it completely with Shirley saying I just couldn't argue with her any more, she should leave me alone and don't talk to me She said goodbye to me as if nothing had happened.
Pauline, my elder sister, has power of attorney and has been told that we can take the decision to sell the car as it is in Shirleys best interest for health and financial welfare.
Pauline and her partner are going down next Saturday to get this sorted, I'm not going to be there, Pauline says I have done enough to support Shirley and I should have a break from it.
I'm not going to argue!
Will post how it goes
I've not been on here for nearly a year and things have really moved on at a pace. Just reading my previous stuff it has made me realise how bad things have got.
Shirley is now in a care home. Her behaviour was becoming more and more worrying. She was brought home on 4 different occasions by the police where she was so confused where she was.
We are now having to sell her flat to pay for her care. There is probably enough with that for about 8 to 9 years but my main concern is that she appears to be going downhill quite rapidly.
She now remembers so few people it's quite scary, friends are a complete blank to her, these are people who she has known for 30 years plus. I took loads of her photos from the flat and going through them was really painful as it showed to me how much she had done and places she had been that are now completely forgotten.
I'd like to know if anyone can tell me what happens next with her illness, I would just like to have some idea what's coming to us as a family
Shirley is now in a care home. Her behaviour was becoming more and more worrying. She was brought home on 4 different occasions by the police where she was so confused where she was.
We are now having to sell her flat to pay for her care. There is probably enough with that for about 8 to 9 years but my main concern is that she appears to be going downhill quite rapidly.
She now remembers so few people it's quite scary, friends are a complete blank to her, these are people who she has known for 30 years plus. I took loads of her photos from the flat and going through them was really painful as it showed to me how much she had done and places she had been that are now completely forgotten.
I'd like to know if anyone can tell me what happens next with her illness, I would just like to have some idea what's coming to us as a family
Trmaskell,
Unhappily each person's dementia trajectory is unique. Mother was diagnosed with FTD (Fronto Temporal Dementia) 3 years ago. However, looking back at notes and letters indicating concerns she has had a mild form of dementia for over 10 years. She has been unable to sort her finances for over 15 years. But she and our lovely stepdad suddenly both went downhill over 10 years ago.
Our father was diagnosed with dementia 4 years before his death. It had come on with little notice and was a fairly quick process. It was his doing a runner in his PJs in the snow at 4 am that was the indicator. Father decided, after yet another stroke, he wanted to die and refused food and drink.
My understanding was that FTD was that patients survived 6- 10 years. Well, mother is over 15 years into it. Admittedly diagnosed only 3 years ago - but symptoms for over 15 years. As a family, we are astonished at how well she has lasted as her diet has been catastrophic for all of her adult life. Her trajectory is gathering momentum now and mother will, in the next 12 months, move into a care home. Her physical state is increasingly fragile so I will be surprised should she survive 3 -4 years in a home but wait to be surprised.
Reading other people's posts life length varies enormously. So I'm afraid you won't really know until you come to late stage dementia. It is like asking how long is a piece of string. Which is probably not what you want to hear.
Unhappily each person's dementia trajectory is unique. Mother was diagnosed with FTD (Fronto Temporal Dementia) 3 years ago. However, looking back at notes and letters indicating concerns she has had a mild form of dementia for over 10 years. She has been unable to sort her finances for over 15 years. But she and our lovely stepdad suddenly both went downhill over 10 years ago.
Our father was diagnosed with dementia 4 years before his death. It had come on with little notice and was a fairly quick process. It was his doing a runner in his PJs in the snow at 4 am that was the indicator.
Father decided, after yet another stroke, he wanted to die and refused food and drink.My understanding was that FTD was that patients survived 6- 10 years. Well, mother is over 15 years into it. Admittedly diagnosed only 3 years ago - but symptoms for over 15 years. As a family, we are astonished at how well she has lasted as her diet has been catastrophic for all of her adult life. Her trajectory is gathering momentum now and mother will, in the next 12 months, move into a care home. Her physical state is increasingly fragile so I will be surprised should she survive 3 -4 years in a home but wait to be surprised.
Reading other people's posts life length varies enormously. So I'm afraid you won't really know until you come to late stage dementia. It is like asking how long is a piece of string. Which is probably not what you want to hear.
