Driving, consultant told husband to stop but he denies this

[Margaret Cymru]

Thanks for your welcome

 

[Countryboy]

Ok a driving licence or Car probably not important if you live in a Town or City, however if you live the Countryside with a Bus every hour to nearest Town 3 miles away or Taxi service again nearest 3 miles away you Probably. Have second thoughts on giving up your Driving licence.

Obviously everything we do each day has a Risk Factor so I need to identify the Risk I’m like to have
catching a Bus fist I have to walk approximately 700 meters along a narrow unmade lane to main road the lane is use by cyclists, horse riders and ramblers when I reach the main road I would then have approximately quarter of a mile walk to the bus stop bearing in mind this a narrow Country road and there is no footway or footpath or street lighting Getting to Bus Stop Very High Risk

Ok when I actually get on the Bus I have another risk assessment is the Bus road worthy I’m I safe form other passengers is the Bus driver competent is suffering from depression or any other medical condition again Very High Risk

now driving my car to Town the Risk to Me is very Low. ok because I have dementia you may say the Risk to Other road users may be High but unfortunately were only here once and the only place I see my Safety Officer is when I look in the mirror shaving so I need to look after Me if I don’t who will so I’m keeping my Driving Licence it's safer in my Car or on my Motorbike

 

[big l]

Because I want to make you smile (?) I'll tell you this. My OH drove up our drive (note the word 'up'), failed to stop and crashed into our house. Anyway £5,000 later we decided enough was enough. It's been an ongoing intermittent battle, OH still complains that he can't drive. I use the line 'Your consultant was worried about your ability to judge distance and speed and notified the DVLA who decided that you shouldn't drive. By law the insurance company have to be informed, so you're not insured now. Don't mention you've had any part of it and... change the subject as quickly as possible!

 

[Countryboy]

Complaints about the ‘Wild West’ trade in cloned registration number plates are on the rise.
1,105 motorists contacted the DVLA in March 2020 to object that their vehicle had been wrongly linked to offences

MIB data provided exclusively by UK police forces showed in January 2020, more than 2 million uninsured vehicles had been seized since powers to stop and seize uninsured vehicles were introduced in 2005.

Every 20 minutes someone in the UK is injured by an uninsured or untraced ‘hit and run’ driver, with many suffering life-changing injuries. This equates to 26,000 injuries each year or nearly one in every five road traffic casualties.

Because of high collision rates and established links to wider road crime posed by uninsured drivers, ongoing enforcement against the issue provides considerable support to Government road safety objectives.

Figures from the Department for Transport show that UK roads are among the safest in Europe, with decade-on-decade reductions in road traffic casualties being recorded, despite a rising population.

“The UK’s two millionth uninsured vehicle seizure is a significant milestone testament to the collaborative and determined work of the police, government authorities and industry to help make roads safer and fairer for all. While we welcome this news, we recognise challenges remain ahead and will continue working closely with our partners to help reduce the impact of uninsured driving.” – Anna Fleming, Chief Operating Officer at MIB.

Last year, over 137,000 vehicles were seized across the UK because they had no insurance, with London, Birmingham, Manchester and Bradford among the worst affected areas.

 

[DunWell]

Hi all, this is a very interesting subject.
My M-I-L was diagnosed with mild to moderate AD in March 2020 at the age of 88 and when I went with her to the memory clinic I requested that the Consultant reject her request to keep driving (with my husband's absolute agreement). She WAS a very good driver but in the year before her diagnosis her little car looked like a bumper car! She hit the end of the garage, the side of the garage, the roundabout and the neighbour's fence but always had an excuse - it was windy, the door was narrower, the fence had been painted, etc. She thought she was driving carefully by doing 20mph on the Oxford bypass...
A year later she still thinks it was because DVLA stop everybody with a diagnosis, no matter how advanced the symptoms. She'd be heart-broken if she knew I'd requested it, especially as until very recently she hasn't acknowledged the diagnosis.
We had to disable the car to stop her driving as she thought she'd be OK to pop to the shops, but we couldn't take the risk. There are 3 schools within 1/4 mile and after too many prangs we couldn't risk the life of a child. We made the decision to sell the car and although she still complains about it, we just remind her of all the money she's saved.

 

[Countryboy]

Hi all, this is a very interesting subject.
My M-I-L was diagnosed with mild to moderate AD in March 2020 at the age of 88 and when I went with her to the memory clinic I requested that the Consultant reject her request to keep driving (with my husband's absolute agreement). She WAS a very good driver but in the year before her diagnosis her little car looked like a bumper car! She hit the end of the garage, the side of the garage, the roundabout and the neighbour's fence but always had an excuse - it was windy, the door was narrower, the fence had been painted, etc. She thought she was driving carefully by doing 20mph on the Oxford bypass...
A year later she still thinks it was because DVLA stop everybody with a diagnosis, no matter how advanced the symptoms. She'd be heart-broken if she knew I'd requested it, especially as until very recently she hasn't acknowledged the diagnosis.
We had to disable the car to stop her driving as she thought she'd be OK to pop to the shops, but we couldn't take the risk. There are 3 schools within 1/4 mile and after too many prangs we couldn't risk the life of a child. We made the decision to sell the car and although she still complains about it, we just remind her of all the money she's saved.

H Dunwell just read you thread and although I always defended the right for a person with dementia to continue driving and I’m delighted to see mother-in-law was still driving at the age of 88 albeit she had a bump or two however I must concede to your better judgement on her ability to continue

obviously it’s her senior years thats brining the driving to an end. , I expect that will happen to us all if were fortunate enough to reach that age

ps don’t tell the other T.P members I’m conceding it will ruin my image

 

[nellbelles]

Hello @DunWell and welcome to DTP, I’m glad to see you posting and contributing to the forum.
I hope now you have found the forum you will continue to post for support and to share your experiences.

 

[Female1952]

I'm sorry - it's not just the driver's life, it's the life of the child the driver hits. You may be safe, or as safe as the average driver, but at a certain point the vast majority of those with dementia are not safe.
I don't have dementia, as far as I know, but I chose to give up driving at 60 because I twice got cut up on the motorway and I became very scared. I could still drive but I knew I might make the wrong decision in an emergency because I was "spooked".

 

[Dutchman]

Obviously a very emotive subject as driving represents a freedom which, when taken away, can be very hard to accept.

But if there is the slightest possibility of danger from the impact of dementia on driving skills then please don’t drive. My wife was given a DVLC probationary period of one year and I doubted at the time if this was correct ( she forgot how to change gear) so we got an automatic but even then I didn’t feel safe.
If you have an accident slight or bad, finding out you have memory problems will give others grave concerns.
If you are still unsure get an assessment.

 

[Cat27]

I'm sorry - it's not just the driver's life, it's the life of the child the driver hits. You may be safe, or as safe as the average driver, but at a certain point the vast majority of those with dementia are not safe.
I don't have dementia, as far as I know, but I chose to give up driving at 60 because I twice got cut up on the motorway and I became very scared. I could still drive but I knew I might make the wrong decision in an emergency because I was "spooked".

Welcome to TP @Female1952

 

[MartinWL]

I have noticed that my father, whose dementia is still mild to moderate, has increasingly found it hard to operate equipment of all sorts ranging from the TV remote to a printer. I believe this is a common observation. A car is a piece of equipment too, but unlike the TV remote, it can kill. I have also noticed that his judgement, from the passenger seat nowadays, of speed and distances seems to be in decline. He tends to criticise other drivers for excess speed when in my view they were driving all right. I don't know if others have observed anything similar.

 

[Shedrech]

hello @Female1952
a warm welcome from me too
now you've started, I hope you'll keep posting ... it does help to share experiences

 

[Cedaroflebannon]

Thank you all for your posts. I’m finding this such a difficult topic. OH was diagnosed the week we went into lockdown; although I wasn’t COMPLETELY surprised nevertheless coming to terms with the reality for myself and him was difficult especially in isolation. In the midst of the testing/drs appointments and OHs denial that there was anything wrong with him the mention of notifying DVLA got rather lost?. He has driven since he was 16 (he ‘s now 81) and was an area manager for many years so there was no way there was anything wrong with his driving!! His licence comes up for renewal in Feb and I’m working on this.

Having just written the above, I realise I’m really concerned about this. I drive myself and am gradually easing myself into this as the main driver.

I wish I had picked up on this straight away and hope that may help others. It is far more important than I realised at the time. The Dr did mention it but because Harry thought they had all made a mistake and because I was feeling somewhat overwhelmed with a 10 year prison sentence being handed out, I didn’t follow through with it. His driving is ok and we only drive locally. I’m not beating myself up here but just hope this may save others the anxiety I now feel a year after diagnosis.

 

[DazeyDoris]

I have noticed that my father, whose dementia is still mild to moderate, has increasingly found it hard to operate equipment of all sorts ranging from the TV remote to a printer. I believe this is a common observation. A car is a piece of equipment too, but unlike the TV remote, it can kill. I have also noticed that his judgement, from the passenger seat nowadays, of speed and distances seems to be in decline. He tends to criticise other drivers for excess speed when in my view they were driving all right. I don't know if others have observed anything similar.

This chimes with my experience with my husband, very similar regarding the TV remote and his comments. He was told by the GP to stop driving the day he did the memory test nearly a year ago now, and I sent his licence to the DVLA to avoid any further discussion. He wasn't happy about it but his driving was awful. Now when I drive he says what's the rush when I'm going say 60 on a 70mph dual carriageway and tuts because it's too slow when I'm going 20mph which is the speed limit around where we live.

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

My OH got his license taken away in Nov 2019 and still remembers it with bitterness, but there is no way now that he can drive, and as @MartinWL says it’s a piece of equipment that he cannot gauge. 2 weeks ago we moved into our nearest town, and we are within walking distance of our nearest shops, and althoughI am only 62, I am giving my car to my daughter, and will use it only occasionally. Time to take the bus or train. I realise if you are rural, it’s not easy, but that’s why we moved.

 

[Alzheimer's Society]

This discussion has been closed as it has run its course.