drinking

[Hard Work]

Hi everyone,
I am in a bit of a quandary about my o.h. drinking. Just to give some background he has been retired now for eight years and was diagnosed with alzheimers in 2015, although I feel he has had this much longer despite his former g.p. saying e was tested whilst off work with depression just before he retired. He was a crime journalist during his working life so the pub was always a good source of information.
Currently, after an accident in Nov. last year he does not now go out on his own, but he likes to go to the pub and I take him. We always go to the same place usually for a few of hours in the afternoons, except on Saturdays when I insist we stay in so I can get on with jobs, prepping meals for the freezer, washing, ironing etc. etc. and usually on a Monday we go out for a meal and he drinks about 2-3 pints.
He has cut down and usually copes very well and although he doesn't take much part in conversations I know he listens and enjoys being with people.
Am I doing the right thing here, I know that his meds do not work as well if he drinks (usually about 4-5 pints over about 3hrs) but its something he has always done and I don't feel I want to deprive him. I would be grateful for anyone's views on this.

 

[marionq]

Hi everyone,
I am in a bit of a quandary about my o.h. drinking. Just to give some background he has been retired now for eight years and was diagnosed with alzheimers in 2015, although I feel he has had this much longer despite his former g.p. saying e was tested whilst off work with depression just before he retired. He was a crime journalist during his working life so the pub was always a good source of information.
Currently, after an accident in Nov. last year he does not now go out on his own, but he likes to go to the pub and I take him. We always go to the same place usually for a few of hours in the afternoons, except on Saturdays when I insist we stay in so I can get on with jobs, prepping meals for the freezer, washing, ironing etc. etc. and usually on a Monday we go out for a meal and he drinks about 2-3 pints.
He has cut down and usually copes very well and although he doesn't take much part in conversations I know he listens and enjoys being with people.
Am I doing the right thing here, I know that his meds do not work as well if he drinks (usually about 4-5 pints over about 3hrs) but its something he has always done and I don't feel I want to deprive him. I would be grateful for anyone's views on this.

I think you are travelling in the right direction ie reducing and gradually changing his pattern of drinking. Is there something one afternoon a week you could switch to away from the pub? Getting involved in a new interest? Going to the cinema or theatre. If that works you could go for two afternoons etc.

You might also find his tastes change. My husband met his brothers for a couple of pints every Friday night and this was almost a religion but now he never touches beer. I occasionally give him a small glass of sherry or port and he seems to
Like the sweetness of it. Dementia brings its own changes and there is no way of knowing what these will be.

 

[Amethyst59]

We find that alcohol really makes the symptoms of dementia worse. My OH drinks Becks Blue (no alcohol) beer sometimes. But once or twice a week he does have a couple of pints. And he does love red wine. I just try to limit when I offer it, as we used to have a glass most evenings. Now it is a couple of times a week. I don't want to cut it out, because PWD are missing out on so much already, and if this gives a bit of pleasure then I am happy to put up with the consequences occasionally. That said, if I am really tired, I don't offer alcohol, because I know I will not be as patient with the constant questions!

 

[Rosie4u]

Hi we have both 'given it up' for a period - mainly for my benefit as I find my patience evaporates rapidly with a glass of wine which then of course is not good for my OH
I havent noticed any difference in his behaviour without alcohol and if he asks for a beer I've been giving him a Becks Blue.
We also used to drink red wine regularly but I sort of liken it to when people have small children and alcohol / lack of sleep and constant questions don't go togeher!!

 

[karaokePete]

I take my OH to karaoke once a week where she drinks 4-7 units. Her Consultant knows this and has not suggested she stop. She cut out alcohol at all other times.

 

[philamillan]

I have been interested in the effect of moderate alcohol intake with dementia for some time.

Your post is fascinating as it suggests that he is not adversely affected by the regular alcohol intake. This was one of my questions as to whether alcohol in moderate amounts may actually be beneficial.

Otherwise the social interaction will be good and the familiarity of the environment should also help.

If he has been used to alcohol for a long time and it gives him pleasure then what could be the harm? Take into consideration that his tolerance levels are likely to decrease so a very gradual reduction in amount or alcohol concentration would be wise.

Have a good time at the pub!

 

[PalSal]

Hi everyone,
I am in a bit of a quandary about my o.h. drinking. Just to give some background he has been retired now for eight years and was diagnosed with alzheimers in 2015, although I feel he has had this much longer despite his former g.p. saying e was tested whilst off work with depression just before he retired. He was a crime journalist during his working life so the pub was always a good source of information.
Currently, after an accident in Nov. last year he does not now go out on his own, but he likes to go to the pub and I take him. We always go to the same place usually for a few of hours in the afternoons, except on Saturdays when I insist we stay in so I can get on with jobs, prepping meals for the freezer, washing, ironing etc. etc. and usually on a Monday we go out for a meal and he drinks about 2-3 pints.
He has cut down and usually copes very well and although he doesn't take much part in conversations I know he listens and enjoys being with people.
Am I doing the right thing here, I know that his meds do not work as well if he drinks (usually about 4-5 pints over about 3hrs) but its something he has always done and I don't feel I want to deprive him. I would be grateful for anyone's views on this.

As a complete teetotaller myself, I pondered this question so much in the beginning. In the end, my husband never had an issue with alcohol. He was always a moderate drinker. Nowadays, on special ocassions, I feel he drinks too much. But I do not really care, he is always kind and gentle and as long, as that is the case, I am ok. I do think it makes the dementia worse in some ways, and is probably not good with the medications he takes but after 15 years of this disease , I no longer care about that. If he is with friends and enjoying a party and perhaps has too much .....so what. If your husband becomes aggressive with alcohol then perhaps rethink your strategy, but if he is socializing and enjoying a life, happy and pleasent, reliving the life he knew, then perhaps it is a good thing.

 

[Amethyst59]

As a complete teetotaller myself, I pondered this question so much in the beginning. In the end, my husband never had an issue with alcohol. He was always a moderate drinker. Nowadays, on special ocassions, I feel he drinks too much. But I do not really care, he is always kind and gentle and as long, as that is the case, I am ok. I do think it makes the dementia worse in some ways, and is probably not good with the medications he takes but after 15 years of this disease , I no longer care about that. If he is with friends and enjoying a party and perhaps has too much .....so what. If your husband becomes aggressive with alcohol then perhaps rethink your strategy, but if he is socializing and enjoying a life, happy and pleasent, reliving the life he knew, then perhaps it is a good thing.

I think PalSal raises an important point. To a teetotaller 'how much ' alcohol is difficult to judge. The psychiatrist who diagnosed my husband is teetotal and he said no alcohol should be drunk. The nurse we see now, says it is fine in moderation. I was teetotal, until the age of about 40, and I feel that influences my ideas of what is 'too much'. I too, think we need to be guided by behaviour. If there is no aggression, or obvious ill effect...then what is the harm?

 

[jugglingmum]

When crisis happened and my mum stayed with me for 3 months, alcohol consumption never crossed my mind and only later when I saw it mentioned on TP did I think about it.

We often have a glass of wine with a meal in an evening - so we offered it to my mum, as she always has, she only had a small glass. When she moved into her flat, i took wine I had found in her house for her, she drank it slowly over time, and I bought more, when she stopped drinking it, I didn't get any more. She has Tia Maria in the cupboard but I don't think she remembers now.

When she comes over for a meal we give her a glass of wine.

There don't seem any issues with this at the moment, it doesn't have any effect beyond normal alcohol effect, and so I have continued.

My mum was diagnosed in 2014, and as is common with Alz is slowly deteriorating but still in early stages.

The odd glass of wine is still giving her pleasure so I don't see any point in stopping it.

My ex boss C in his 60s is currently away on a 'lads' golf holiday(rugby players in their youth), one of the 'lads' (they are all in their 60s or older) will have 4 pints before playing golf everyday, which C thinks is excessive, but most of them will be downing 10 or more pints every evening. This is way more than I have drunk, even on holiday, but is what some people do, so I think it depends on what the effect is, and what they are used to.

If the alcohol is a problem or exacerbating behaviour issues, it needs cutting back but otherwise, enjoy life's pleasures.

 

[Quenelise]

I think it really depends on the person. If this has always been a part of his normal every day life, and you don't believe he is having too much or that it is adversely affecting him, then why not?

 

[Hopeful123]

I think it really depends on the person. If this has always been a part of his normal every day life, and you don't believe he is having too much or that it is adversely affecting him, then why not?

Hi. I am in agreement here. It's quality of life, not quantity which is the important thing now that this dreaded disease has reared it's ugly head. My husband used to drink with his mates, he now likes one or two glasses of wine on occasions, occasionally a shandy.To a degree, what he wants I let him have. I try to live our life as if we have no health problems, eating out, walking, shopping etc. I know this will change but who really knows what's in store? As the aforementioned gp said, wouldn't it be better if heart problems kicked in first. That's what I'm hoping will eventually happen. Wishful thinking?

 

[Shedrech]

hi Hard Work
lots of different responses for you from other members
for me this is a key point
"I know that his meds do not work as well if he drinks (usually about 4-5 pints over about 3hrs"
your husband may well have been accustomed to drinking at a certain level BEFORE he began to take the meds - now he does take these meds, the fact that you say they are affected by alcohol (not him, the medication) is worth careful consideration - I'm guessing that had the meds been for some other condition and your husband fully able to make a decision himself, he'd have cut down his alcohol intake
4-5 pints a day pretty much every day (if I have understood correctly) is a fairly high consumption level - different from the odd glass of wine with an occasional meal or 4-5 pints on a special occasion as a celebration
socialising is important, and the rituals surrounding that socialising help us all feel included, so the drinking is 'helpful' in including your husband in this social experience
I do wonder whether it is now pretty much a habit to drink the liquid in the pint glass, rather than fully taste and enjoy the beer - I know my dad's tastes changed and from really appreciating wine and buying good wines, he actually didn't notice when I substituted red grape juice (I had suspected for a while that he was drinking the wine out of habit, not really in the appreciative way he had used to, so tried an experiment, fully ready to make profuse apologies that I had sillily mixed up the bottles)
might you try halves instead, or a pint of shandy, or alternate between a pint of beer and a pint of lemonade/soda water, or the lower alcohol/non-alcoholic alternatives
best wishes

 

[Hard Work]

Thanks you to everyone who replied for your comments and suggestions. I will try to limit my o.h.drinking but its strange how events can alter situations. Earlier this week he had a fall at the bus-stop on our way home from the pub and when we got home having fortunately suffered no ill-effects he said himself that he needed to slow down on the booze and also on his smoking, which he has been doing. I feel this incident was partly my fault as I was busy chatting and didn't notice how fast he was drinking so I need to be more vigilant. Also the pub is closing for a refurb, so this may be a good opportunity to introduce some other activity for at least another afternoon a week as also suggested. Many thanks again to everyone.