Dread

[CollegeGirl]

Aw thank you AG. I know it won't last, so I'm now feeling a bit down. But my flabber was well and truly gasted at the turnabout.

I hope your mum's MMSE goes okay. But I confess that I don't really know what happens at one of those. I think my mam has had one, in the early stages, but couldn't say for sure. This was before dad told me what was going on, when he was shouldering everything on his own. The thought of that makes me want to cry.

Are you going with your mum? I guess you will be. I wish I could help you. Thank goodness we can at least 'talk'.

Much love xx

 

[Anongirl]

I bet it felt like a parallel universe! She's certainly keeping you on your toes! Have you spoke to your dad again tonight?

I will be going yeah. It's just upsetting because they ask her to do certain tasks and in her innocence she has no idea what they are testing. It hurts to see her struggle with them because she tries so hard but you can tell her brain just doesn't see what it should. One of the tests is to draw two interlinking shapes and she never links them. I don't actually know what that represents. Once the doctor read a story to her about a woman who got mugged and mum had to answer questions afterwards to see if she retained the information. She just didn't understand and thought the doc was just telling her a true story. She just kept saying "oh no poor woman". It just makes you realise how her perception has completely altered and how easily confused she is. It's hard to watch. She got 19/30 last time so we'll have to see if a aricept has improved it. Personally I think she has stayed stable with some slight deterioration but we'll see.

Anyway here's to many more better days with your mum. I shall keep all my bits crossed x

 

[CollegeGirl]

I am keeping all my bits crossed for you and your mum, too, AG. Bless her that she tries so hard at the tests. I think it's massively insensitive about the mugging story - couldn't they choose a less distressing story??? Your mum might just happen to retain that tale and think it was true, or that it had happened to her! Don't they have any common sense, these doctors? For goodness' sake. I despair.

Quite some time ago now, dad had to stop watching the news because mam got distressed at what was going on in the world and thought it was happening to her.

It is very, very sad.

I'm going for a long soak in the bath now and have a read of my book xx

 

[Anongirl]

That was one of the first tests she had. Some of the questions are quite odd and some of them frankly hard! I think perhaps its time they revamped the tests really.

I know mum can retain some information, for example she remembered that my son was upset at nursery over a week ago and she said to me in the park once "that baby is due soon". So I asked what baby and she said "Kate and William's baby!" She really surprised me because she was exactly right and she had the baby soon afterwards. She often has no idea what day it is but remembered that!

Have a lovely soak and relax. We both know how important that is xxx

 

[lilysmybabypup]

Oh CG, how lovely, I'm so pleased you had that precious time with your mum, and your dad was able to feel happy again. I honestly believe there are simply no explanations in this disease, as has been said, just enjoy those moments.
You can now change the title of the thread from Dread to Relief. I guess when we steel ourselves for the worst, anything less is a bonus.
Long may it continue.
Take care, Stephanie, xxx

 

[FifiMo]

AG,

I noticed your post about the MMSE. This might help you as it shows the areas that are being tested and how the thing is scored. http://www.guysandstthomas.nhs.uk/r...elderly-care/mini-mental-state-evaluation.pdf

Fiona

 

[Anongirl]

Thanks Fiona x

 

[Grannie G]

Hello CG

This reminds me when Dhiren almost did a pirouette and danced for the physiotherapist who came to assess his failing mobility.

 

[CeliaW]

Hi CG - sorry I didn't post earlier but was pondering how to write my reply.

How lovely for you and your Dad to have that good time with your Mam and to have come away with such good memories of a meeting you had been dreading. I do hope you will find that your Mam continued in this better frame of mind after you left.

Someone said earlier about how you must have such mixed emotions and that must be right. Were you able to give your notes to the SW and did they understand how different your Mam was to how she had been previously? I am just concerned that the chance to explain and to get further help for your Mam and Dad May have melted away. I am sorry to seem such a killjoy. It would be wonderful if this marked a general improvement in your Mum's mood but, however things go, I do hope the better memories from yesterday give you comfort.

Take care

Hugs
xx

Sent from my GT-I8160 using Talking Point mobile app

 

[SnowLeopard17]

Dear CG - Soooo pleased to hear of the good time you had with your mam and dad yesterday. We must savour these opportunities when we can and be uplifted by them.

Like CeliaW I hope that you had the chance to explain to the SW how it is when things are at their worse so that you all can get the help and support you need over the coming weeks, months etc.

Grannie G - that made me laugh, but how true and how very typical.

SnowLeopard, with love x

 

[Vesnina]

just an idea

I'm convinced that it wasn't deliberate. Mam wasn't just behaving badly and then controlled herself when the SW was there.

It would be good to know what makes them/us change this suddenly...
I had similar observations and I was convinced as well it was not deliberate.

It seems it is the change: a new person, strange person, a novelty in the life.
Experience of a true life - not only the same old home and everyday life.

An outing made my mother always be different - even years before I would think on A.
If I think better: an outing, or guests... would make me different in a period of being home...
Communicating with people was always very important for her,
recently, unfortunately, she has less and less people around.

1. Her husband, her school friends, her new friends are leaving one by one - this is the sad side of a long life,
2. Her strengths are failing and it is difficult to organize guests and outings...


Very best wishes...

 

[CollegeGirl]

Thanks Stephanie ... I slept well last night, no bad dreams, no dreams about my mam. I will treasure that hour x

Sylvia, that made me chuckle! I can just imagine him. Good for Dhiren, but how frustrating for you when you needed help for him x

Celia, fortunately the hour was mostly for me. I was able to distract mam sufficiently for dad to be able to have a really good talk with the SW and get a few things sorted out. I'd taken a couple of copies of my written notes, and dad gave the SW one of the copies and they even managed to discuss it. Although I had sort of hoped that the SW would see mam's horrible behaviour, I think in the end it was better this way, because dad wouldn't have had that time to discuss things properly with her if mam had been hostile. And at the end when they'd finished, dad was able to take mam into the kitchen for a while so that the SW could speak to me alone, to tell me what they'd discussed and answer my own questions. It was absolutely great.

I must just say that although I get very frustrated with the SW at times, (because she is very hard to get hold of, often doesn't return phone calls for days/weeks, never seems to be in the office, etc,) when we do meet her, she is absolutely on dad's side and is extremely supportive of dad wanting to keep mam at home, and wants whatever is best for both of them, and does her utmost to think of things to help. I do appreciate her support. I just wish she wasn't so busy and that things didn't take so long to organise. I suspect she feels the same!

SnowLeopard, thank you. I will definitely treasure the memory of yesterday. I was absolutely dreading it, but just think, if I'd chickened out and not gone, I would have missed a very special hour with my mam. I know it won't last, and next time I see her she may very well be hostile to me again - she of course probably won't remember yesterday - but I will always have that hour to look back on.

Thank you all again, my friends, for your kind words and support, which mean such a lot to me.

I hope you all have good days today xxx

 

[CollegeGirl]

Vesnina, welcome to Talking Point, and thank you for your thoughts - we cross posted. You may well be right. Also, this social worker speaks in a slow, rather dozy way, and she takes a long time to get to the point. Dad and I find it rather irritating, but perhaps mam finds it soothing. Perhaps the SW has developed this way of speaking over the years she has been dealing with dementia, or perhaps it's just her normal way? Who knows? But her arrival definitely switched something within my mam, and I'm truly thankful for it.

 

[CollegeGirl]

I've just remembered something else from yesterday.

When I was little, mam would sometimes write a bit of poetry. She composed a really nice poem which since her Alzheimer's she has become fond of reciting. I typed it out for her and had it framed, and she often picks it up and reads it out loud.

Yesterday she twice tried to recite her poem, but couldn't remember any of the words. However, she improvised! She got the rhythm right, the cadence; it even rhymed! It made no sense, but she even managed to get the sentiment of her original poem. She never faltered. She was so pleased with herself. It was her poem.

It was amazing to see.

 

[Miss Merlot]

How random!! Am very glad for you and hope this more upbeat period will last...

 

[CollegeGirl]

Sadly not, Miss M. Back to normal today. But her good mood did last for the rest of the day yesterday, so at least they both had a nice evening.

 

[Sue J]

Pleased for you all to read of this good 'episode' may there be more
love
Sue