Double Incontinence

[Mirium]

Hello again, I have not posted for some time now.

My mum's dementia has now progressed quite a lot. Our main problem is the incontinence, mainly because she refuses to wear any pads or protection of any kind. Now when a pad is put on her, within minutes she will go into the toilet and remove it, leaving it on the floor or putting it down the loo. We have tried pull ups but she takes them off. What can we do?? Dad is her carer and has to deal with this 24/7, he is 87 yrs old, So sad, she was such a dignified lady. Yesterday when I was trying to persuade her to put a pad on she cried ans said "you make me feel filthy."

Does anyone have a suggestion of something to soak the urine saturated clothes in to neutralise the smell until they are washed? Iam so frustrate, wanting to help dad and not knowing how? He will let me do very little.

 

[germain]

Hello Mirium

I found the old fashioned Napisan was one of the best products. Not much seen in major supermarkets around here (frozen north) but I could always get it in £ shops & various other cheaper outlets.
I used a large plastic garden trug for soaking - out of doors !

Regards
germain

 

[Mirium]

Germain

Thank you so much. I had wondered about Napisan as I used it for my babies nappies about 45 yrs ago. I am surprised it's still on the market. I will certainly look out for it. Thanks again.

 

[nicoise]

Biotex?

I should be buying shares in Biotex - my soaking agent for a host of "difficult" stains....

 

[Christin]

Thankfully we only have the odd accident but I have bucket with a lid and put things in to soak asap in hot water and detergent. My poor washing machine is on every day. It must have been a nightmare before washing machines!

 

[Onlyme]

It must have been a nightmare before washing machines!

That is why the girls had to stay at home on a Monday to help with the washing.

 

[Libby]

So sad, she was such a dignified lady. Yesterday when I was trying to persuade her to put a pad on she cried ans said "you make me feel filthy."

Hi Mirium

I feel so much for your poor mum - it's so hard for them to understand. The Home had this problem with Mum and had to put quite a bit of tape on the pad so try and stop her from removing it. It's very sad to say, but they do eventaully get used to them.

Liz

 

[Onlyme]

MIL will remove hers and it is often found on top of the bed.

 

[Pacucho]

Mirium

Have you tried replacing your mum's underwear in her drawers with Tena pants ? There is a chance she might accept putting them on thi way round.

Paco

 

[DozyDoris]

the following things can be used as nappy soaking solutions (mix with water):-
shop-bought nappy soaking powders/solutions (available from chemists, baby shops, mail order real nappy suppliers) – try to use an environmentally-friendly type
white distilled vinegar (2-3 tbs)
sodium bicarbonate (bicarbonate of soda) (1 tbs) (larger packets are sometimes available to order from chemists)
domestic borax (1 tbs) (try chemists)
tea tree oil (eg 5 drops) (there are some reports of babies being sensitive to this)

Just found this searching for nappy washing as some alternatives?

 

[Mirium]

Incontinence

Wow!! Thanks to Nicoise, Christin, Liz, Onlyme, Paco, Lemony and DozyDoris, (not so dozy, so many suggestions!) Thank you Liz for your kind thoughts, and Onlyme, my mum put her soiled pad in the airing cupboard on top of the clean clothes the other day, (Dad's!) Good suggestion Paco, we have bought some tena pull ups,which we will try out, she doesn't get her own things out but relys on dad to get her what she needs, and to clean her up, poor old dad, he's 87. I see you have a similar problem Lemony. It's so nice to come here and get help, advice and comfort. Thanks to you all.
If you didn't laugh you would cry.

 

[sunny]

Could I also recommend Milton

http://www.milton-tm.com/antibacterial_fabric_solution.html

and also do the soaking of clothes in an outside area if possible to eliminate odour in the house.

I was wondering Tena pants - where the pad is incorporated inside the pants (but I dont know if it will take care of the faecal content as well) or pants with a higher waist and clothing that your mum cannot get her hands into to remove the pad.

I just want to say also is your Mum regularly toileted so that "accidents" may be reduced. She may not ask for the toilet but at regular times taken to the toilet and assisted.

I hope you dont mind me saying but at 87 your poor old Dad really must be feeling it with this care work? Is there anyway that burden can be lifted from him. It must be heartbreaking for all of you that Mum has reached this stage. It is very sad.

Also in your area maybe an Incontinence Service (contact your GP) that may also be able to advise.

 

[Mirium]

Incontinence

Hi Sunny, Thank you for your thoughts and advice, My Dad is a very fit 87 yr old and fiercly independent. Last week we had a visit from SS, and the lady offered Dad a bath chair for getting mum in and out of the bath - he refused. She offered help by someone coming in to bath and dress mum - he refused, She offered a sitting service so that he could have a couple of hours break = he refused. Someone from the falls team came and said there was nothing else they could offer. We already have grab rails,and she said a walking frame would confuse mum. He did agree to a visit from from the incontinence team but we are still waiting for that. Dad is even loathe to let me help, tho' he has got a bit better lately. I did suggest to him to take mum to the loo at least every 2 hours. She kicks up such a fuss and refuses to go, so I don't know whether he is doing it or not. I am the only daughter, and don't live with them, but give as much support as possible. I have persuaded him to take mum to a day centre once day a week. We all went to see it and spent some time there, and this Thursday will be her first day, fingers crossed! Dad is convinced that she wont go. I hope he is wrong, because he is getting so stressed I fear for him if he doesn't get some relief. I have offered to stay with mum 1 day a week but he says he is fine.
Sorry I think I am rambling a bit! I thought the Milton idea was worth a try, so thanks for that. Now I had better shut up.