1. Gazelle

    Gazelle New member

    Nov 17, 2019
    4
    My dad was dianosed with Alzheimers earlier this year, but hasn't been himself for a while. He has also been incontinent for a year or so, which has got worse, and for the last 6 months or so has been doubley incontinent. My poor mum spends a lot of her day changing him, as he can go several times a day, and she hates it. It makes going out difficult - my Mum's quite sociable but this has made it really difficult for her to do anything. He has incontinence pants, but these do not always catch everything - they have tried several diferent sizes. Somehow he sometimes chooses the the time he is being changed to do his business, and sometimes after he has wandered off into the bedroom and does it on the carpet. He also wets the bed every night either through the pants or leeks out the side, so my mum washes bed linen every morning (he has waterproof matress cover, but that needs to be washed).
    From what I have read, this level of incontinence seems to happen in later stages of Alzheimers, and he is definitely not at those stages yet. They have been to the doctor several times about it, but I'm not sure if they have really taken on board how bad it is and how it's getting my Mum down - she is his only carer, so her health and wellbeing needs to be taken into consideration.
    Does anyone else have similar experience, or knowledge about this, and if this is 'normal' or not, or if we should be pushing the doctor for further explorations. Does anyone have any tips on how to cope with this? Or any ideas for support? She is in touch with various organisations, who supply his pants, but no-one has offered anything more really.
     
  2. Sunshine2*

    Sunshine2* Registered User

    May 16, 2019
    20
    Good Morning, Reading your message, I really understand what you and your Mum are going through. Has your Dr. referred you to the Bladder & Bowel Health Nurse at all?
     
  3. Lilye

    Lilye Registered User

    Oct 15, 2016
    15
    Hi Gazelle,
    My Mum has Vascular Dementia which was diagnosed in April 2015 and earlier this year Mum became fully incontinent. The difference with Mum is that the Dementia has robbed Mum of all mobility in her legs so she cannot even stand let alone walk and has to be fully hoisted. The last few months she has even stopped asking for the toilet and, at times, is not even aware she has soiled/wet herself. In the day Mum where's incontinence pads under her normal cotton pants and at night she wears a pad inside a pair of incontinence pants with a bed pad on her sheet as an added precaution. When we take her out, which can be no longer than 3 hours at a time because of there not being a disabled facilities with a hoist, we use the pad and incontinence pants.
    My heart goes out to your poor Mum as she most certainly needs help. Of course your Dad cannot be blamed for this as it must be horrendous for him but your dear Mum most definitely needs help and I feel its very bad that the Drs surgery has not been more forthcoming with some advice. Do you have District Nurses that can help in some way? Has your Mum joined a Carers Centre where she can not only get help and advice but perhaps some time off? I must say I do not feel there is enough out there for Dementia sufferers and because your Dad has got such a bad case of incontinence I'm guessing you will be hard put to find all the help that your Mum needs but I think it would be worth looking at Day Centre's where, if the incontinence can be contained with the right pads etc, then maybe he could attend one of these centre's for a certain number of hours per week to give your Mum a break and perhaps you can also pick up advice about the best incontinenece wear for your Dad. I wish you well.
     
  4. Sunshine2*

    Sunshine2* Registered User

    May 16, 2019
    20
     
  5. Abbey82

    Abbey82 Registered User

    Jun 12, 2018
    46
    Hi Gazelle, My Dad is 60 and in the later stages with FTD andAlz. Whilst his pads should be provided, we buy 'huggies' for my Dad. My Dad is a little different to most in that his dementia has not affected his mobility, he is very agile and can be aggressive, however he has no capacity at all, he can physically get around but mentally cannot do anything. We tried numerous types of pants and settled on the Aldi ones that are pull-ups, they are sold as urine ones only, but the pads come up high front and back.

    The only ones sold as urine and fecal are the Tena ones, but they are like true nappies. The Aldi ones have been great at 'keeping in' everything. There have been some leaks but we found they were most like a Pant which meant my Dad found the transition easier (even though he has no idea)

    The Tena & Boots Version come in at £7.99 and the Aldi I buy for £3.75 for 9. My Dad is sectioned at present, but I still buy them and take them in as he won't wear the nappy style ones.
     
  6. Gazelle

    Gazelle New member

    Nov 17, 2019
    4
    Thank you Lilye and sorry to hear about your mum. Lack of mobility must be really hard to deal with, especially with the incontinence on top. I am thankful that my dad can go out and have a little wander around at least - I think this is my Mum's life line.
    Day care is a really good idea. I think we haven't explored this option enough yet. My Mum definitely could do with some respite, and this would help her cope with the incontinence.
     
  7. Gazelle

    Gazelle New member

    Nov 17, 2019
    4
    Hi Abbey82.
    Your Dad sounds very young to be in the later stages, that must be really hard for you.

    Thanks for your advice on pants. Maybe I will have a look at the Aldi ones, though he does get free ones, so Mum is reluctant to start buying them. They work OK, but it doesn't stop her from having to clean him up several times a day. It's OK for a no 1 but he seems to be doing more no 2s, and never knows when it's coming or when he's been. We just just know when we can smell it! He seems to have lost a lot of his senses/feelings - he never seems to feel pain any more - he recently had a tooth out and said it didn't hurt at all, and he can never tell when he's soiled himself. He is eating a lot more too, and I wonder if that's because it's perhaps a sense that he still has so he's making the most of it! It might be a reason for the increase in no 2s as well!
     
  8. Gazelle

    Gazelle New member

    Nov 17, 2019
    4
    HI Sunshine2
    My Dad has been to the bladder clinic, and I think that's why he gets free pants now. But I think we need to go back and get some more advice as I don't think they know quite how bad it is at the moment. I think Mum can deal with the no 1s but it's the no 2s that come several times a day that she finds difficult. I'm not sure if this is 'normal' for someone suffering from Alzheimer's. He's still mobile, so could get himself to the toilet if he knew it was coming.
     
  9. Abbey82

    Abbey82 Registered User

    Jun 12, 2018
    46
    Thanks, yes its super difficult but we keep on going. My Dad was the same, when he became no 2 incontinent he became more hungry, taking food even when asked not too (not that he understands commands) and also doing no 2's more frequently, we couldn't get our head around it though because overall he wasn't really eating more than before. I think if you can afford better pants and decide they work, its worth it for the time you get back not having to keep changing. Its so difficult, my mum was at breaking point. You're right too, we always knew as we could just smell........
     
  10. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    776
    Female
    cornwall
    Tena do pads which are better than pull ups.They come in different colours.If you want a thicker pad and one to last longer you may need to get the Super which are better. You will also need the “FIX” these come with the pads.Like nylon tights cut up at the top...All can be got by the incontinent nurse..
     

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