Don't know what to expect next

[yellabelly]

I was looking for advice, my mother in law, was rushed into hospital 2 weeks ago with a very low heart beat, we had taken her to dr few days before after a week of not eating or drinking much or walking standing on her own as she had been doing, to basically be told to keep at it and give her ensure. She spent 5 day in hospital hooked up to heart machine and was then discharged as heart beat rose. The physio came to see her told us she could stand, sit stand and walk 17 metres with walking frame although we knew this was not the case as we asked to see her doing it and couldn't get out of the chair. After 10 months of caring for her on our own we asked for respite care to be told none available in our area and we could have carers coming in so we now have 2 carers 4 times a day. The eating drinking has not improve and now even the carers are struggling to move her, we are awaiting a respite bed with a view to to becoming permanent but we are so sad to see the change in her in a month. MIL wont eat anything that involves chewing only eats very soft food and drinks sips at a time. I now blend all the meat with gravy, mash all the vegetable and make home made soups as well as making jelly. As MIL wont drink much it helps to get the fluids in her. But added to this she now doesn't talk to people other than yes no. Only seems happy to lay on her bed. When we took her in hospital one of the drs said she was having a steep dementia step, but now it looks like this is another with the non communication and wanting to lay on bed away from people.
Does anyone know if this is normal or what we should expect next I know every one is different but was wondering if anyone has been here and offer any advice Sorry its a long post and thank you for reading

 

[copsham]

Hello Yellabelly,
My mother is not so advanced as your MIL so I do not have any experience to share.

It sounds appalling that you are doing such demanding care and then being told "sorry no respite"

I am sure others will be able to give advice. Best wishes

 

[Kevinl]

Funny there's always enough money to pay their wages but never enough to cover anything else, they'll just dump it on you until you snap, that's the way it is these days. Sorry I can't be more helpful.
K

 

[susy]

How about trying for a permanent place in a home rather than respite?

 

[stanleypj]

I was looking for advice, my mother in law, was rushed into hospital 2 weeks ago with a very low heart beat, we had taken her to dr few days before after a week of not eating or drinking much or walking standing on her own as she had been doing, to basically be told to keep at it and give her ensure. She spent 5 day in hospital hooked up to heart machine and was then discharged as heart beat rose. The physio came to see her told us she could stand, sit stand and walk 17 metres with walking frame although we knew this was not the case as we asked to see her doing it and couldn't get out of the chair. After 10 months of caring for her on our own we asked for respite care to be told none available in our area and we could have carers coming in so we now have 2 carers 4 times a day. The eating drinking has not improve and now even the carers are struggling to move her, we are awaiting a respite bed with a view to to becoming permanent but we are so sad to see the change in her in a month. MIL wont eat anything that involves chewing only eats very soft food and drinks sips at a time. I now blend all the meat with gravy, mash all the vegetable and make home made soups as well as making jelly. As MIL wont drink much it helps to get the fluids in her. But added to this she now doesn't talk to people other than yes no. Only seems happy to lay on her bed. When we took her in hospital one of the drs said she was having a steep dementia step, but now it looks like this is another with the non communication and wanting to lay on bed away from people.
Does anyone know if this is normal or what we should expect next I know every one is different but was wondering if anyone has been here and offer any advice Sorry its a long post and thank you for reading

Very sorry to hear about this decline. It's always very upsetting when these fairly sudden changes occur.

One thing to bear in mind is that the deterioration since MiL's stay in hospital may partly be due to being in hospital itself - a disturbing experience even for people not living with dementia. You may find that now she is out of hospital her condition may improve somewhat.

Have you had the opportunity to speak to a dietician about the eating/drinking problem? They are the experts here and could well have useful advice for you. You mention that chewing is a problem. How are her teeth?

I do hope you find ways to improve the situation as I know how distressing these changes can be,

 

[yellabelly]

Well things have changed now and MIL is in respite care, the Care workers were unable to move MIL on Sunday lunchtime without great difficulty as a result she was left on her bed, Monday she didn't want to get up so the cared for her on the bed Tuesday morning call was great but by lunchtime MIL did not want to cooperate so they eventually got her on her bed that afternoon we got a call to say the Carers would only be doing on bed care and they had called SW to tell them the situation and amazingly yesterday (Wednesday) we get a visit from SW to say they have found a respite bed for 2 weeks. MIL went last night, it is not far from us but chatting with the SW when I suggested that we may need to look at permanent care I was told it is not a given that she will get permanent care as they like to get them back home and OT will be seeing her and us along with her overall assessment and if things improve they will see about right equipment to bring her home. I have asked the home to see if they can organise a SALT test whilst she is there.