hi everyone i care for my mum who is 76 and has dementia. she was diagnosed about 1 year ago, but has had it for at least 5 years. my mum refused to admit that she has any problems caring for herself, although she does accept that she has a "memory problem". when i managed to get her to see the consultant, she refused to have the ct scan and would not take any medication. i have managed to get a carer from crossroads in for an hour twice a week while i am at work and a cleaner in for an hour. both these she resents and tells me she does not need. she was offered a place at a day centre but refuses to go. we spend all day and everyday together (not weekends), i only work 2 mornings a week and that is becoming harder. the time we spend together is becoming more and more difficult, we have nothing to say to each other, partly because we do nothing else. she would so benefit from the stimulation of the day centre. i am beginning to become very resentful that she decides what i can and can't do (by deciding not to go to the day centre or have other people in). what do i do now? she has not been told that she has dementia, she would not take it well i believe. it is no use explaining that her memory problem means she needs more help 'cos whatever you tell her, she forgets. any ideas would be great - i know that compared to many on this site, not only do my problems seem minor but is seem to be uncaring - but i just feel it's time i put my needs and my childrens and husbands, a little higher up the ladder, i'm not suggesting anything that would be harmful to my mum, just the oppostite.