Hi, I am new to this forum and hope to find help or advice from someone regarding a very new and upsetting change that had occurred with my mum, aged 86 who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple of years ago. My mum also has severe arthritis and is now totally wheelchair dependent. For more than three years I have been providing support to my dad,aged 87 who is my mums primary carer. I live some distance from their home so have spent 3 days (and nights) per week with them in their home during this period. My sister, who lives closer to them has been sharing my mums care on the other days but does so in the mornings mostly and returns to her own home. They have additional support from other siblings as well regarding driving, shopping etc. but being male , they are unable to help with my mums personal care .
In recent weeks, mum has had rapid mood changes and become 'cross', agitated and irritated, for no apparent reason. However, on two occasions last week, she became extremely angry with my father and accused him of having an affair with me! It was both shocking and upsetting, coming out of the blue, and it's really hard to know how to handle this situation. My mum only settled again after I had physically left their home. We are aware that this is probably 'Sundowning Syndrome', as it happened in the early evening on both occasions.
What do we for? How do we approach this? It's so difficult for all concerned, particularly my dad. I honestly don't know how much my mum remembers these episodes, but she behaved in a very uncomfortable, embarrassed manner following the first outburst.
I want to continue helping as before and it will be impossible for my sister to provide the necessary help everyday. Getting outside carers in is something which we have been able to avoid so far, as it will change the equation substantially and impact the home environment. My parents have always enjoyed their 'privacy' at home, have been married for more than 60 years and have pledged to each other, many years ago, never to ' put one another into a residential home'. We would love for them to be able to keep this promise and want very much to provide the necessary support and care they need.
I hope someone can give us some advice. Thanks.
In recent weeks, mum has had rapid mood changes and become 'cross', agitated and irritated, for no apparent reason. However, on two occasions last week, she became extremely angry with my father and accused him of having an affair with me! It was both shocking and upsetting, coming out of the blue, and it's really hard to know how to handle this situation. My mum only settled again after I had physically left their home. We are aware that this is probably 'Sundowning Syndrome', as it happened in the early evening on both occasions.
What do we for? How do we approach this? It's so difficult for all concerned, particularly my dad. I honestly don't know how much my mum remembers these episodes, but she behaved in a very uncomfortable, embarrassed manner following the first outburst.
I want to continue helping as before and it will be impossible for my sister to provide the necessary help everyday. Getting outside carers in is something which we have been able to avoid so far, as it will change the equation substantially and impact the home environment. My parents have always enjoyed their 'privacy' at home, have been married for more than 60 years and have pledged to each other, many years ago, never to ' put one another into a residential home'. We would love for them to be able to keep this promise and want very much to provide the necessary support and care they need.
I hope someone can give us some advice. Thanks.