Don't know what to do for the best

Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by rubyrosie, Apr 7, 2015.

  1. rubyrosie

    rubyrosie Registered User

    Mar 28, 2014
    24
    Hi it's been awhile since I have posted ...my mum is in a NH and has late stage vascular dementia . She has been slowly deteriorating over the past few months and now has pitting odema in both feet/lower legs and weakness in her left arm ....the doctor came today, not her usual one , and I had a call from the NH saying she was to have a chest X-ray ....I think they got their wires crossed becuase they were supposed to discuss it with my sister and I first ....i spoke to the doctor and explained that she did not want any tests and the journey to the hospital , a round trip of 28 miles would be distressing for her, so basicaily said no to the xray as it ws only advisory ...My dilemma is now I don't know if I have made the right decision and my sister is on holiday ....so sorry...mum is so weak and I can't see what benefit this would have for her .
     
  2. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    I think you know you are right

    I am sorry your sister is not there to make the decision with you but you are doing the right thing. You know your Mum and the trip to get an x-ray would be distressing. Its hard and you feel guilty but you should try not to, Your doing this out of love.

    Sending you a hug and moral support. Be kind to yourself and I hope your mum is comfortable.
    lots of love
    Quilty
     
  3. rubyrosie

    rubyrosie Registered User

    Mar 28, 2014
    24
    Thank you

    Thank you for your support....this disease is horrible and I hate to see my mum like this , talking to people who aren't there, seeing things that don't exist and getting distressed about things that haven't happened ....she is so frail and she worries so heaven knows what she would make of a trip to a hospital ....thank you
     
  4. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,322
    Female
    East Kent
    Hello. I agree with everything Quilty has said . Hard though it is, try not to feel worried or guilty
    I would have made the same choice for the same reasons. I know how hard it is, I had to make similar decisions for my mum.
     

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