Hello everyone,
I have previously posted for advice with my FIL who myself and Fiancé care for but I feel we have reached a brick wall......
My FIL has vascular dementia and lives with us on our farm, (Was his farm previously). At first lockdown we were receiving one personal care visit a day for medication and showering but we had issues with timing of carers coming (FIL likes his routine) and not wearing appropriate PPE. We also had my fiancé's siblings take him one day a week and the other, one weekend (2days) a month.
With covid we made the decision to try keep him safe and cancelled all care assistance to try and do it ourselves. It has worked so far but I have recently found out Iam pregnant with my second child (first is a toddler).
My FIL had another TIA yesterday which resulted in him losing his balance for an hour and he is doubly incontinent most days so social work have got in contact again and he is getting some hospital checks in coming days.
Social work want to start carers again but Iam starting to panic about how we are going to run a farm, look after our children and my FIL even with this help. My partner just keeps saying his sisters will just have to help again and we will manage, but iam starting to really stress on how we will cope.
It isn't even just the mental stress of dealing with this everyday, its the fact we don't have any privacy or time on our own. The few times we do chance leaving him for a short period of time, Iam always worried about him. We have a community alarm etc in place. Pretty much everything we can in house but I still worry every single day about him.
I know iam ranting but I dont know where to turn. His children are really hesitant about placing him in a care home as he's still coherent generally (he's mainly affected with his mobility and incontinence) and because of the risk of covid (which tbh I feel the same way) .
But Iam yet again grieving a "normal" young family life. I dont know how to solve it or where to turn and worried how all this stress will effect my pregnancy.
Is there anyone in a slightly similar boat?
I have previously posted for advice with my FIL who myself and Fiancé care for but I feel we have reached a brick wall......
My FIL has vascular dementia and lives with us on our farm, (Was his farm previously). At first lockdown we were receiving one personal care visit a day for medication and showering but we had issues with timing of carers coming (FIL likes his routine) and not wearing appropriate PPE. We also had my fiancé's siblings take him one day a week and the other, one weekend (2days) a month.
With covid we made the decision to try keep him safe and cancelled all care assistance to try and do it ourselves. It has worked so far but I have recently found out Iam pregnant with my second child (first is a toddler).
My FIL had another TIA yesterday which resulted in him losing his balance for an hour and he is doubly incontinent most days so social work have got in contact again and he is getting some hospital checks in coming days.
Social work want to start carers again but Iam starting to panic about how we are going to run a farm, look after our children and my FIL even with this help. My partner just keeps saying his sisters will just have to help again and we will manage, but iam starting to really stress on how we will cope.
It isn't even just the mental stress of dealing with this everyday, its the fact we don't have any privacy or time on our own. The few times we do chance leaving him for a short period of time, Iam always worried about him. We have a community alarm etc in place. Pretty much everything we can in house but I still worry every single day about him.
I know iam ranting but I dont know where to turn. His children are really hesitant about placing him in a care home as he's still coherent generally (he's mainly affected with his mobility and incontinence) and because of the risk of covid (which tbh I feel the same way) .
But Iam yet again grieving a "normal" young family life. I dont know how to solve it or where to turn and worried how all this stress will effect my pregnancy.
Is there anyone in a slightly similar boat?