Doing my best


Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
It was so sad when I had to admit Mum to the psychiatric unit at the local hospital. She seems happy there and is well cared for and despite being 92 is much better in her mind than the majority of patients there. She is on medication to improve her memory and psychotic feelings. it's coming up for a month now and we still seem to be no nearer getting her home as they are still monitoring medication. I feel she is becoming institutionalized - she has forgotten where she lives and all about her house.I am further becoming distressed by my father who is not in good health, has always been a control freak and as I live close expects me to be at his call 24 hrs a day.I have employed carers to help him dress and shower and a cleaner but he moans constantly about the money and how bored he is on his own. We visit at least once a day even though my husband and i both have demanding jobs but get no thanks. I am becoming very depressed at the thought of not being able to get away for a break, my work is suffering. He is so unpleasant about people that no-one wants to visit him. I hope he is going to realize that when mum comes home she will not be able to do the things he once expected of her. How do I deal with this grumpy man who is after all my father.


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Dear Lowri, welcome to TP.
You really have a dilemma on your hands, and maybe one way would be to write your dad a letter, pointing out what you have just told us.

A) that mum will not be able to do as much if, or when, she comes home.
B) that you are doing as much as you can, and if your health suffers, you will not be able to carry on.

Chances are he is frightened of what might happen, or really has not thought things through. A letter sometimes gives space to take in what is being said, without having to make snap decisions.

Sorry, not much help, but you are now among friends who can offer you support.
Let us know how things go. Connie