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doing it for love

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
1,208
Southampton
my husband is progressing too fast. he has been trying to make cornish pasties from scratch. he wanted to prepare the mixture and do pastry tomorrow. he is a good cook and loves it. he said today this will be the last he will be able to do. its got too much. i hate cooking and anything to do with food. but out of love, i have peeled potatoes, diced and put it on. ive told him not to look, i dont need his critique. just accept it. its made me sad that yet another skill is being lost. last night we were watching a program and he couldnt follow it. it was only the abba story we were watching so wasnt complicated and he got lost and was asking me. this is a man who loves quest channel and could get his head around complex system but even abba is tough going. this is destroying my best friend and the man that i love
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
1,208
Southampton
especially when i end up peeling spuds. had a roast tonight so more spud peeling. there was a positive, the kitchen wasnt as much a mess that it usually is after himself has been cooking.with every silver lining
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
1,208
Southampton
new day new discoveries. today its pastry for his cornish pasties. i have done it before but not for many years as really dont like cooking and he has been retired. its too much for him and has asked for my help. if my friends could see me now........... anyway rolled out and mixture put in. he said he can manage to clear up. the problem is that he wants to be in control and doesnt like me anywhere near his cooking so we had a few heated words like do it yourself before i did it. if we continue to cook together, our marriage wont last too much longer. i have to realise that im a visitor in his kitchen. remember that and we will stay together.
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
258
Hi @jennifer1967
I must admit I don't mind cooking, well have to say that as no else cooks and we would never get a hot meal otherwise. Was your husband a Chef or does he just enjoy cooking? Partner cooked when we first got together obviously trying to impress me but not anymore.
I confess I made mince pies the other day using a packet of pastry but my partner wasn't keen on them I agreed they weren't great so I won't be trying again and he much prefers cake which I'm not too bad at. The very basic whisk/mixer my mum and dad bought me still works all these years later and they got it when I was engaged at the tender age of 17 years.
I made pasties once many moons ago to use up some leftover meat using a packet pastry then but I think it was puff pastry and to be honest they did actually turnout pretty nice but realistically I don't do much baking with pastry.
I quite often say to partner do it yourself only to see his little face drop at the very thought of it 😆
Take care 🤗
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
1,208
Southampton
hello wildflowerlady. how are you doing? no he never was a chef but enjoys cooking. i dont cook but he had started and needed help to make them.so spuds yesterday and pastry today. before dementia, he was quite happy baking away in the kitchen but its too much for him and he has just discovered that. i dont bake and no interest but i did it for him. apparently my neighbour says the pastry was light and crumbly. me and the husband already had words like we did yesterday when i told him to get on with it. the pain is bad and will have to increase painkillers over doing them again. emailed my doctor as cant get past the receptionists. on my own again takecare
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
258
hello wildflowerlady. how are you doing? no he never was a chef but enjoys cooking. i dont cook but he had started and needed help to make them.so spuds yesterday and pastry today. before dementia, he was quite happy baking away in the kitchen but its too much for him and he has just discovered that. i dont bake and no interest but i did it for him. apparently my neighbour says the pastry was light and crumbly. me and the husband already had words like we did yesterday when i told him to get on with it. the pain is bad and will have to increase painkillers over doing them again. emailed my doctor as cant get past the receptionists. on my own again takecare
Hi @jennifer1967
I'm doing OK thank you, I hope you get some extra pain relief asap life is difficult enough for you already and pain definitely makes it harder still. Sometimes my partner says he will help spirit seems willing and then he just can't he gets tired or breathless quickly or else feels too wobbly and has to sit down leaving me to do everything but I end up carrying on as want it done.
I am on phone every month sorting partners medication as between GP and pharmacy there is always problems and extra visits to collect medication that hasn't gone through to pharmacy drives me mad.
Man came this morning to fix boiler so heating again YAY.
I have done a post regarding dad and situation that happened this morning. I still have no working signal on my mobile but Care Company do have my home number. I tried to sort with mobile supplier but apparently the two bits of password I gave were incorrect but it was the one daughter gave me when she set it all up so she is calling them herself later its looking like I will change provider very soon.
Take care Jenny 🤗
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
232
I have always like to cook and bake, and he liked to eat it, then he would clear up. Now however, if a plate looks clean he just puts it back in the cupboard, or uses a spray kitchen cleaner! So I now do the dishes. Also he has lost the ability to use his phone. I spent 2 hrs on Monday, and surprised myself at how patient I was, going over the buttons. He would walk out of the room and straight back in to ask the same question, how do I work this.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
1,208
Southampton
he is now exhausted and took 1/2 hr cleaning up what would have taken 10 minutes. he said he didnt know his body could ache so much and i did the hard work. day off cooking tomorrow as my son is coming to us friday and need to do a bit of cleaning tidying. not sure why as my grandson is a whirlwind at 2 1/2 so wont take long. pure pride. i think grandad will be tired as well but we havent seen them since christmas so will be nice. they live in dartford and im not sure my husband will be able to travel on the coach to them very much longer. sad really as he enjoyed the coach.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
1,208
Southampton
i know i have 13 grandchildren and today my daughter came with her 2 girl and boy, 6 and 3 but are better controlled and they dont touch anything. i dont believe in putting things up but telling them not to touch and they wont but the grandson 2 1/2 hasnt got the same control. hes at childminders full-time as both parents are teachers so they rather i child proof the house so he doesnt have a "bad" experience. i take safety precautions but thats all. they dont live near me and i dont see him very often especially since covid. sorry kids do need to l;earn no. i had 4 and i never had the problem but i didnt work either so thats the difference i suppose and his mum is canadian so is more free and easy.