Doesnt get easier!

joyportsmouth

Registered User
Mar 26, 2007
31
Hi
I havent posted for a while,have been feeling quite positive until yesterday....

I took my 2 little ones to beach,and kept noticing all the grandparents with there grand kids and it suddenly hit me that my 2 youngest will never have that. Mum played a very large part in my 3 oldest kids lives,i worked full time so mum used to feed them,bath them go to school plays,days out even weekends away,but the youngest have never seen that side of her,ive always said 'nannys not well'.
At least the older ones have memories of her.

I know nothing will ever change now,but this Dementia really is a nasty illness.

I really miss my mum,and i never realised how much i would,you just take it for granted they will always be there.

Thanks for listening,ive had a good cry while i wrote this so im sure i will feel better soon.

joy
 

Cate

Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
1,370
Newport, Gwent
You are so very right it isn’t fair.

You are your youngest children’s memories of your mum, you can in time tell them stories about your mum, as can your eldest children, how she was pre AD lives on in you all.

A good cry never did anyone any harm, and I do think all of us here are entitled.

Keep posting, let us know how you are.

Cate
 

joyportsmouth

Registered User
Mar 26, 2007
31
Thanks for your reply Cate,think im just having one of 'them days'.

Anyway have had a good old cry,read some past posts as well and had a few tears for them as well.

Thanks again

joy
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,659
Kent
Dear Joy,
You are right, dementia is a really nasty illness. It twists the knife in all of us and we just have to let it be.
I`m sorry you miss your mum so much and your children will never have known their nanny, well.
It leaves such a big hole.
Take care,
Love xx
 

Kathleen

Registered User
Mar 12, 2005
639
65
West Sussex
joyportsmouth said:
At least the older ones have memories of her.

I know nothing will ever change now,but this Dementia really is a nasty illness.

I really miss my mum,and i never realised how much i would,you just take it for granted they will always be there.


joy
You are in exactly the same situation as me, our three grown up daughters have so many happy memories of Mum and Dad, our youngest, a lovely surprise is now 8 and from the age of 2, Mum has been in the grip of AD.

Last Friday, at school, she was breaking her heart because she misses her Grandad, who died nearly 3 years ago and her Nanna, now totally unaware that she has either children or grandchildren. Luckily, I work in the same school so was on hand to comfort her as best I could.

I think that as she is growing up, she is suddenly realising that they are gone now and she won't see them again, she was only five when Dad died and Mum went into a home, so at that time, it really didn't register that it was a traumatic time.

We talk about them a lot and her big sisters share lots of their happy memories with her too, I don't take her to see Mum now, as the last time I took her, she asked if she could not go any more as Nanna had "funny eyes".........she looks so different now.

Hopefully, by telling her about the happy times we shared just a few years ago, she will build a store of good memories about her much loved and very much missed grandparents.

You will feel better soon, focus on those happy times and share them with your younger ones, that way they will have good memories of their grandparents, even if they are second hand ones.

Kathleen
x
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,453
Hiya Joy,
The other week talking to my 18 year old son, I said something about how his nanna had helped me sort a problem, and he said "I wish I had known her" - tore at my heart. At present I tend not to look back - maybe one day, we will be able to get out the photos from when mum was well.
Love Helen
 

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