We finally had to put mum in a home 2 days ago. Probably long over due, we kept her from crisis repeatedly, but failed to see we as sisters had gone into crisis ourselves. She says she isn't going to stay, and I get that. She has no idea there is anything wrong with her, and insists she should contact her mum and brothers ( her mum deceased 23 years ago). I do believe if the care home is good , the staff will be well equipped to cope with those situations. We as family members who have been delivering the constant care find it hard to relinquish our responsibility. Mum will probably deteriorate, this is generally the way. Guilt is something I'm not feeling because it was beyond my capability to manage her effectively, plus we have young families and it is hard on all concerned. Reading the above posts, I know she probably won't give up the going home talk, last night (night 2) they let her call me at 11.23pm. Mum was angry as she needed to go home, I assume the carers thought she was likely to kick off so best to ring me to see if I could diffuse her. I just said I would get her in the morning, as children were in bed. My mum is quite showy, and wouldn't let her defenses down so she gets angry and aggressive instead. Its all fear and we understand it, we just can't manage her 24 hours a day. I am grateful to all of you out there is talk openly and honestly about your experiences, it is the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with, and until you've lived it you can't know it.