I'm currently finding it very difficult to live with the guilt of my husband going into respite care. He has frontal lobe dementia and in July was in hospital extremely I'll with pneumonia and septic shock. Three days in intensive care when it was very.much touch and go. A week in rehab which really didn't achieve as much as I would have liked. He's now extremely unsteady on his feet and shuffles more than ever. His memory and cognitive function have been badly affected which I know is typical of serious infection. I seem to have to check everything he's done or should have done even more than ever before. I'm waiting for social services to do a needs assessment but they have a waiting list. I'm the meantime I desperately need a break. One of those things they tell us we should have but never tell us how to actually achieve it! Added to this my mum, 95 in a couple of weeks with advanced dementia, fell and broke her hip there's weeks ago. She lived in a care home 250 miles away from me. I really need to go to see her. So I told my husband the only way I could go is if he agreed to respite care. With the help of a friend he was persuaded and I found a care home that will take him for a week, most say two weeks minimum. We visited and he said he would be happy to go there. I have him every opportunity to change his mind before I booked it then booked my train tickets. I know it's the best thing to keep him safe and fed and it's what I wanted but ever since I booked it I've felt dreadfully guilty, as though I'm putting him away. I'm the past I've told other people they shouldn't feel like this so it's come as a bit of a shock that I do. I think it's because he looks to me for all his needs to be met and I don't know if he will ask other people for help if he needs it. I feel like I'm deserting him. Will it get any easier? I'm not sure he'd agree to go again if I need it.