I’ve been living with the guilt for 4 years, we had to put mum in a care home she has vascular dementia and my dad had Alzheimer’s and was putting her in danger by keeping her at home. He never forgave Me. He believed he was the only one that could care for mum. In the last year she was at home she spent 2 months at home. The rest of the time in hospital with either falls or infection. The social workers stepped in. But I had to agree as POA! Since then it never got any better mum wanted to go home. But last November my dad sat an watched across the road as his house burned down. Apparently he had no idea what to do. He had an emergency pendant but didn’t press it. He had a month in hospital then moved into a lovely care home that he hated.mums home wouldn’t take him. It became apparent how bad his Alzheimer’s was once out of his own home. After breaking his hip in March he just gave u and said he was going to kill himself , he’d told me this so many times if he didn’t get his own way. It was horrible. I felt guilty for not standing up to him and doing more to deal with his life long stubbornness. Even near the end the staff would say he doesn’t really seem to have to bad Alzheimer’s. Until I said everything he’s just told you is totally mad up rubbish! He staved himself to death and passed away in April. Now my mum can never go home even if she could do anything for herself. She wants to go home and there’s nothing I can do to make that happen. I cry for her for my dad for my lost family home , and for my mum’s lost memories as she gets further away everyday! So no I can’t say the guilt will ever go away because I don’t think it will.