Does not recognise what food is ??

Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by boomerang, Feb 4, 2015.

  1. boomerang

    boomerang Registered User

    Jun 13, 2012
    48
    My Mom has been in a nursing home since May 2012 and has steadily declined but this last 5 weeks when she is given food she asks what is it what do I do and yesterday she only ate a small triangle sandwiche the home are worried and keeping a written check on intake of food and also drink is this the normal in the stages of dementia/alzheimer's she does'nt really recognise me any more but knows my name and suddenly says is it me ? I promised my Mom she would never have to be in a home so I have betrayed her I just wish now she would fall asleep I know this is so wrong but my Mom is not the person I visit will this continue for many years as now I am worried if I die who will be
    watching out for her as I am the only child left in our family anyone else gone through this and all she says is I am confused dont know if I am coming or going and thats her conversation nothing else so sad it is - I just wish Dad in heaven would come and take her away with him - sorry have to get this off my chest as do not have anyone I can talk to and dreading to think this is for many more years to come for her x
     
  2. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    2,109
    hertfordshire
    Hi, I feel your sadness, you are not wrong to wish the end of this disease for your Mum, I wish that for mine too, it doesn't mean we don't want our Mums, its dementia we don't want any longer. It might just be a phase your Mum is going through or a possible uti, I know my Mum does and says more strange things when an infection is present, she once started putting pages from books in her shoes when she had a uti and has on occasions tried to put a kit Kat wrapper on her feet thinking it was a shoe. My Mum also eats and drinks very little now, sadly none of us can say how long this will last, but like my Mum, you may find that your Mum will have good and bad days with food and drink, same as her confusion, it will vary. Monday we had a great visit, Tuesday was terrible and soul destroying. Finally you have not betrayed your Mum, you have done what is best to keep her safe. Hope you feel better soon xx

    Ange
     
  3. boomerang

    boomerang Registered User

    Jun 13, 2012
    48
    Sorry Ange your having same thing in your life it is so hard and unless people have had this no one understands . The worse bit is Mom always said she would never want to be in any home but it happened so quickly and the Hospital after a fall put her into the first home now this other one I just wonder how many years someone hardly eating suffers I think I would store some tablets up if I thought this was my future I am now even constantly thinking of what may be my future and you should not have to live like this but I seem to be dwelling on it daily - I know I should not but I am - it is just a living death as I see it hope things continue as good as they will do x
     
  4. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    2,109
    hertfordshire
    It is a living death, you are right, I know what you mean about fear for the future, I used to think like that, my Nan and two of my Aunts plus my Mum were taken from us by dementia and I would worry that this could happen to me too, it is hard not to think this way. I think most of us on here must at times have this fear, so you are not alone in thinking this way. Wish I could say something to help you, but dont have the answers. All I can do is send virtual hugs xx

    Ange
     
  5. sunray

    sunray Registered User

    Sep 21, 2008
    1,411
    Female
    East Coast of Australia
    Lots of family members in my ancestry with dementia too so I cling to the hope that medications are getting better and by the time I am in the age range (80s) maybe we will be better at dealing with it. I think we have to live the best life we can now, enjoy it, build up good memories so that when the time comes we are able to draw down on that. My Mum had a very long term dementia, 18 years from diagnoses to death and she did have good years and bad years so I am hoping for the same. And for someone to accompany me on the journey as I accompanied her.

    The eating or not eating seemed to come and go with Mum and once she got onto minced or pureed foods actually got a lot better. She was never a great one for sandwiches so see if your Mum takes better to soups and stews than to sandwiches which can be dry and hard to swallow. If Mum asked what something was my standard answer was : "Delicious." that seemed to answer the question and spur her on to taking a bite or a mouthful and eating a little more.
     

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