Does my mum have Dementia or am I overanalyzing?

[jackson7698]

About a year ago my grandfather (mum's father) developed dementia and was diagnosed with alzheimer's.

Due to this, my mum has seemed very stressed and quite anxious about the situation as she isn't able to see him very often because of travel and work.

Recently I've noticed that she forgets little things that I may of just told her and will sometimes ask the same question, (this is usually just asking if I want a drink or something so I don't think it's too much of a concern but more of her just caring about me).

She hasn't had any other memory issues, can remember times of my upcoming exams, can remember dates well, doesn't get lost at all.

What I'm trying to understand is if she has Early-On dementia or just forgetfulness.
She is currently (56) and as I already stated seems a bit stressed out.

Any queries are welcomed!

 

[Beate]

Forgetting little things is what we all do as we get older. That alone is not much cause for concern, plus the stress she's under can very well explain it, but if you are worried you can always get her to her GP for a check-up - a blood test would reveal any vitamin deficiencies which can contribute to forgetfulness.

 

[Chemmy]

Hello and welcome to Talking Point.

Ah, 56. It might well be her hormones. I worked out my problem back then was more that my concentration was poor. It wasn't so much forgetting as not listening properly in the first place.

 

[Izzy]

Hi and welcome from me too.

I'm doing Future Learning Course on Successful Ageing at the moment. In this week's session they described some forgetful incidents as failures of attention rather than genuine memory failures. The examples they gave were things like losing your keys (something I do constantly!). I do believe that stress can lead us to incidents of failure of attention.

If you have talked to your mum about this she might agree to having a check up with the GP.

 

[Chemmy]

If you do decide to approach your mum, please do this very sensitively. She will probably have her own concerns about whether she is likely to go down the same path as her father (we all do) and having minor episodes of forgetfulness pointed out by others will only add to her stress.

Some years ago, when I was dealing with my mum's diagnosis, my OH went through a phase of pointing out that he'd already told me something ....until I burst into tears one day (very unlike me ) and told him, not too politely, that this was the last thing I needed to hear.

There are many early subtle signs of dementia; its not simply forgetting things. As Izzy and Beate have said, absent-mindedness is a normal part of aging too.

 

[jugglingmum]

As a busy mum, I often ask my family several times if they want a drink, or forget what they've asked. I think the issue is paying attention, I am working out what order I am doing the washing, cooking plans for tea, and weekend juggled schedule with kids as I ask. If your grandad is a good way away this will add to the stress of what she is fitting in her life.

I don't know how old you are, but you mention upcoming exams, so maybe offer to get your own drink, or any other household task that you don't mind doing and takes a few minutes, no criticism of you, but busy mum's and dad's do run around like crazy.

In my case, my daughter(16 - GCSE year) has been ill with a virus for last 10 days and yesterday she hung out the washing when she got in from school (she would normally do this), the relief that I didn't have to do it when I got in from work before I took son to his evening activity with a 15 minute turn round showed how stressed I was with juggling things, when she hadn't hung the washing out on Monday and Tuesday.

If you do get your mum to GP tread very carefully, and perhaps emphasise you are worried about her because she seems a bit stressed, rather than mention the forgetfulness.

I went to my GP with stress related issues and she said I was normal for a part time working mum in a stressful job and she thought counselling would just mean I was struggling to fit something else in. It did make me feel massively better to hear her say that, and more relaxed - sounds silly but it did.

 

[jackson7698]

I appreciate all the replies!

 

[Rosnpton]

I'm same age as your mum-
Does your surgery do a well woman clinic?
Getting muddle and forgetful often goes with the menopaus.
Well woman clinic will do blood tests etc
Good luck with the exams
Ros

I appreciate all the replies!

 

[hellseer]

hi

About a year ago my grandfather (mum's father) developed dementia and was diagnosed with alzheimer's.

Due to this, my mum has seemed very stressed and quite anxious about the situation as she isn't able to see him very often because of travel and work.

Recently I've noticed that she forgets little things that I may of just told her and will sometimes ask the same question, (this is usually just asking if I want a drink or something so I don't think it's too much of a concern but more of her just caring about me).

She hasn't had any other memory issues, can remember times of my upcoming exams, can remember dates well, doesn't get lost at all.

What I'm trying to understand is if she has Early-On dementia or just forgetfulness.
She is currently (56) and as I already stated seems a bit stressed out.

Any queries are welcomed!

Yes it sounds like she does and very young too.

 

[Bunpoots]

Sounds more like absent mindedness than dementia to me. She's got a lot on her mind. If your grandfather hadn't had his diagnosis would you even be asking the question?


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[Zana]

As a person in her 50's, in menopause and dealing with a husband with dementia let me tell you the stress is chronic and yes I forget little things ..I leave keys in pockets or go to the shop and realise I left my shopping list at home on the table.

I know its just because hormones are not at their best and my mind is busy trying to juggle all the bits of my life and constantly re-adjust depending on what my husband does.

Your mum is most likely stressed and a bit hormonal but if you are really worried it might be an idea to suggest a check up.

 

[felix1977]

Yes. Sounds like absent mindedness.

 

[Saffie]

Yes it sounds like she does and very young too.

I really don't think this indicates any form of dementia. Stress and worry can cause this sort of forgetfulness and just having many other things on your mind, which the OP's mother obviously does, can mean that you don't always concentrate on what another person is saying - even when you've asked the question.

 

[thekeymurphy]

If you're really worried you can ask her to see someone. It seems like she has a lot on her plate at the minute and it could well be that the stress is getting to her. I wouldn't worry about it too much.