Does dad need sectioned or nursing home

[AwayWithTheFairies]

If you can get him in for a respite at least then you will have a bit of peace in the house to get things straight. At the moment there is no point worrying about that stuff.

Possessions and stuff like household bills and accounts are such a weight and drag when the family has more important things to worry about! It’s driven my mum crazy for years, dad was a hoarder and even though he died 5 years ago she still hasn’t got through all “his” stuff and still gets into frequent strops and frets about what to do with it all, and here she is with cancer and unable to care for herself. I feel it too, his voice in my head, “what are you doing with my things?!” I finally decided to just change the subject with mum, and when she dies or goes into care I will deal with it and it will be a relief.

 

[deepetshopboy]

I wont have the space to keep stuff ill also be time limited if i have a short time to get hes flat cleared ..?
Its not to bad more ornaments /furniture bits n bobs sentimental stuff dad liked keeping stuff ..another bridge to cross

 

[AwayWithTheFairies]

Once he is sorted, other things will fall into place. If you are really stuck and can spare some cash it might be worth at least costing up getting a moving firm to pack it up for you and stick it all into storage for the time being.

 

[Lone Wolf]

I wont have the space to keep stuff ill also be time limited if i have a short time to get hes flat cleared ..?
Its not to bad more ornaments /furniture bits n bobs sentimental stuff dad liked keeping stuff ..another bridge to cross

@deepetshopboy, your absolute love & commitment to your Dad, through all adversity, shines through all your posts & I sincerely hope that there are better times ahead for you. Look after yourself first, so that you can then continue to look after your Dad, in care or otherwise, and then you may have peace of mind. Sadly, the only real support for carers desperately trying to look after their PWD is on this forum.

 

[deepetshopboy]

@deepetshopboy, your absolute love & commitment to your Dad, through all adversity, shines through all your posts & I sincerely hope that there are better times ahead for you. Look after yourself first, so that you can then continue to look after your Dad, in care or otherwise, and then you may have peace of mind. Sadly, the only real support for carers desperately trying to look after their PWD is on this forum.

Thank you for your support n kind words
I hope theres better times ahead ?
Yes no help for carers especially from the very people employed to help ie professionals

 

[HardToLetGo]

@deepetshopboy, your absolute love & commitment to your Dad, through all adversity, shines through all your posts & I sincerely hope that there are better times ahead for you. Look after yourself first, so that you can then continue to look after your Dad, in care or otherwise, and then you may have peace of mind. Sadly, the only real support for carers desperately trying to look after their PWD is on this forum.

What lone wolf said, all sympathy to you for fighting a brave fight for your Dad while it was possible to do so?

 

[Palerider]

Hi i had no plans to stay here anyway
Thats not my concern my concern is for my father and what is going happen to him ! ?
The reason I mentioned hes property is being it was picked up by previous poster as I mentioned how long hes allowed to stay whilst in care home as i need to sort hes possessions /bills out etc normally council only give a month but ill find out
Hes not gone anywere yet so ill cross that bridge when i come to it

I'm sorry I read your entry the wrong way.

I think in the end the LA have to take over and I know its hard because depending on where we live it is a post code lottery in where they end up, but you also do have to think about yourself -thats what i was trying to say

 

[deepetshopboy]

Had to ring police n ambulance yesterday morning my dad was hitting the windows shouting and having a massive meltdown at 7am yesterday morning as home treatment team wouldn’t help or come out or section my dad for wks on end this crisis is going on
The social worker despite me and the occupational therapist trying to call all day still hasnt got back apprently now its the hospital that now deal with it i asked to speak to a hospital social worker so i could spk with them as im given no information as to what is happening regarding my dad
My dads now in hospital
Drugged up on a ward nothing wrong with him no uti etc its all a massive nightmare 15 hours up in the hospital in accident n emergency he pulled the canula out of hes hand that they meant to give him antibiotics in but didn’t i kept saying he pulling at it
Nurse me n secruity guard 3 off us had to try n contain him he was going behind nurses bay puling at files tipping swabs etc out- of the drawers walkng up n down trying to escape
Had a xray tried to do a ct scan n couldn’t had to heavily drug him do 2 covid tests said he didnt have uti but was going into a ward was up there 15 hours in accident n emergency no communication mustve spoke with and given the same details with 200 dr n nurses
Finally told he was gojng to a ward at 7 last night but told I couldn’t go they also had a wrong list of medication and told them he needs to be on medication for ulcers hernia high dose omperzole which is not on hes regular prescription as it 5 wk one off high dose of he doesn’t get that medication he will get ill again he will be vomiting up blood chocking not swallowing n losing weight again
Told no we will give him low dose but they called chemist he didn’t tell them about the omperzole ?‍♀️?
I was allowed up to the ward not told anything we were escorted by the secruity /nurse who stayed till 8 o clock i was allowed to stay the nurse on thr ward would not listen to me about the meds he needs the fact he need a one to one nurse
Shouting at me for using the ward toilet despite me not knowing the protocol said he had a uti ( when i said dr said he didn’t told me to take it with a pinch of salt but she would check hes file she may have it wrong ) ?not listening or talking to me atone point draw the curtain round me to block me extremely passive aggressive
Ive had no feedback im now waiting on going to the hospital this afternoon to spk to dr she told me not to come in till 2 pm sje would spk to me after
Nobody is telling me anything
The nurse just shouting
And secruity shouting at me every time i leave the hospital to make a phone call i aske the nurse for a pass bit told no your not entitled to it yet the admin said i am
Meanwhile my dad is sat up drugged up im not allowed to help with anything no news as ring this morning and no nurse available to spk with me !

 

[kindred]

Had to ring police n ambulance yesterday morning my dad was hitting the windows shouting and having a massive meltdown at 7am yesterday morning as home treatment team wouldn’t help or come out or section my dad for wks on end this crisis is going on
The social worker despite me and the occupational therapist trying to call all day still hasnt got back apprently now its the hospital that now deal with it i asked to speak to a hospital social worker so i could spk with them as im given no information as to what is happening regarding my dad
My dads now in hospital
Drugged up on a ward nothing wrong with him no uti etc its all a massive nightmare 15 hours up in the hospital in accident n emergency he pulled the canula out of hes hand that they meant to give him antibiotics in but didn’t i kept saying he pulling at it
Nurse me n secruity guard 3 off us had to try n contain him he was going behind nurses bay puling at files tipping swabs etc out- of the drawers walkng up n down trying to escape
Had a xray tried to do a ct scan n couldn’t had to heavily drug him do 2 covid tests said he didnt have uti but was going into a ward was up there 15 hours in accident n emergency no communication mustve spoke with and given the same details with 200 dr n nurses
Finally told he was gojng to a ward at 7 last night but told I couldn’t go they also had a wrong list of medication and told them he needs to be on medication for ulcers hernia high dose omperzole which is not on hes regular prescription as it 5 wk one off high dose of he doesn’t get that medication he will get ill again he will be vomiting up blood chocking not swallowing n losing weight again
Told no we will give him low dose but they called chemist he didn’t tell them about the omperzole ?‍♀️?
I was allowed up to the ward not told anything we were escorted by the secruity /nurse who stayed till 8 o clock i was allowed to stay the nurse on thr ward would not listen to me about the meds he needs the fact he need a one to one nurse
Shouting at me for using the ward toilet despite me not knowing the protocol said he had a uti ( when i said dr said he didn’t told me to take it with a pinch of salt but she would check hes file she may have it wrong ) ?not listening or talking to me atone point draw the curtain round me to block me extremely passive aggressive
Ive had no feedback im now waiting on going to the hospital this afternoon to spk to dr she told me not to come in till 2 pm sje would spk to me after
Nobody is telling me anything
The nurse just shouting
And secruity shouting at me every time i leave the hospital to make a phone call i aske the nurse for a pass bit told no your not entitled to it yet the admin said i am
Meanwhile my dad is sat up drugged up im not allowed to help with anything no news as ring this morning and no nurse available to spk with me !

Oh dear God, I am so sorry. Where is the compassion? Where is the understanding? It astounds to me as though hospitals dread patients with dementia. Warmest, Kindrrdxx

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

This is appalling. I'm so sorry you and your dad are being put through this ordeal. Can you contact PALS at the hospital?

 

[Sarasa]

Sorry things are so tough, though it does sound like your dad does need to be in hospital to get things sorted. PALS is worth a shot. I also think the support line on 0333 150 3456 might have some tips as to what to do next.
I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but I wonder if your dad would settle better if you weren't there? Just phone up to see what's happening and try and re-charge your batteries for the next fight.

 

[Melles Belles]

So sorry you’re both going through so much.
I hope you get some answers soon from the hospital.

 

[deepetshopboy]

Sorry things are so tough, though it does sound like your dad does need to be in hospital to get things sorted. PALS is worth a shot. I also think the support line on 0333 150 3456 might have some tips as to what to do next.
I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but I wonder if your dad would settle better if you weren't there? Just phone up to see what's happening and try and re-charge your batteries for the next fight.

I didn’t have a chance to phone them as ringing hospital/relatives /and trying to get hold of sw all morning

 

[deepetshopboy]

This is appalling. I'm so sorry you and your dad are being put through this ordeal. Can you contact PALS at the hospital?

I didn’t get the nurses name unfortunately
Ive contacted pals a few weeks bck regarding hes endoscopy n the nurse then insisted he have it without sedative causing mire weeks of agony for my dad pals still havent got back from that

 

[deepetshopboy]

Oh dear God, I am so sorry. Where is the compassion? Where is the understanding? It astounds to me as though hospitals dread patients with dementia. Warmest, Kindrrdxx

I know absolutely appalling isnt it even the occupational theripist said that yesterday and a cousin abroad this morning
No help no understanding no compassion

 

[Jessbow]

Its the hardest thing you are ever going to have to do , but you need to step back. Step back and let them find out a) what he's like and b) what he needs.

They will HAVE to manage him while you are not there. They will find out how much supervision he needs.

Now is the time that you need to be the strongest you have ever been, strong in the resolve that they need to sort this out and place him somewhere safe, sectioned of nessesary, or in a nursing home.

If you roll over and take him home again in a couple of days , you'll have to go through all this again.

Be strong, stand your ground

 

[Bunpoots]

I have to say I agree with @Jessbow . Your situation is not sustainable @deepetshopboy .


My dad was taken to hospital and sectioned while he was there. It was the best thing that could’ve happened for both of us. Dad had no idea he’d been sectioned, it was done with my agreement as his attorney, and he went straight from the hospital to an EMI carehome for a 4 week assessment period which gave the professionals the chance to see how bad he really was and gave me time to take stock.

I did have to stand my ground as they kept trying to send dad home. When I refused to allow this I was told that if i didn’t take him they’d section him. Knowing that a section 2 would make them responsible for dad and unable to get rid of him I leapt at the chance even though it does sound a bit scary..

 

[canary]

I have to say that Im another one agreeing with @Jessbow and @Bunpoots .
All the while you are doing things for him and keeping him going no-one is seeing what he is really like, so no-one understands the problems leading to no compassion and ultimately no help for you.

In order to get them to understand and to get the help you and your dad need and deserve, you are going to have to let them see the problems. If you are there doing things for him, or fight to get him home now, then they wont and things will just carry on as they have.

 

[deepetshopboy]

Update i went to the hospital yesterday i was dreading it i was told by dr not to come till 2 pm then i could try n spk with her given no information on how he was despite my ringing the ward nobody available to tell me i had left him previously the night before drugged up i was surprised to see he looked well and he spotted me walking along the corridor and rushed out he was calm ( they are giving him medication) he had a hca with him he was ok calm i was suprised he had eaten /been shaved they are giving him calming medication via syringe
Also thinning medication which im not happy about as hes fully mobile
It looks like he will placed into a emergency respite ive had no information no best interest meeting as sw from ss couldn’t attend i spoke to oc yesterday at the hospital and said that they didn’t want him in thete as he needed a hca and hospital wasnt best place and i needed to make a decision that thrre was a best interest meeting planned today but now its not going ahead as sw cannot attend i was asked to go but heard no more
i feel extremely concerned about how things r being rushed finally manage to sk to sw yesterday from social services and he said do u want your dad in nursing home ? I said ive got no choice as hes not able to come home its not what i want but need ss much as its breaking my heart social worker said then threre no need to have best interest meeting as can be sighnd off by all ie dr psychiatrist him me etc i woke up this morning in a panic
it doesn’t feel right i have deep concerns about my dad he needs medication review
And best interest meeting

went to the chemist yesterday to collect hes medication and to get a list of hes tablets to bring i to the hospital as there is confusion over what tablets he’s taking despite me telling them he needs high dose omperzole due to hes ulcers /hernia and hes due to go bck to hospital fir follow up appointments for endoscopy as last one they couldn’t do if he doesn’t take these tablets 5 wks worth currently he will go bck to being extremely ill vomiting not swallowing in agony again im getting shouted at not listen to .i
managed to spk to a dr yesterday briefly at hospital and told my deep concern she told me abruptly hes on it but 30 mg once a day i said again it needs to be high dose
the chemist infomed me that the hospital rung to ask for a list of medication but the chemist didn’t include the omperzole as it wasn’t on regular prescription ?‍♀️I said he needs that ive tried to explain to the nurses and was also told ,the chemist im not allowed to take hes medication from the chemist not sure if thats legal ? but im very annoyed by it especially as i was told yesterday by a nurse weres hes tablets ? I said what tablets? We dont have any here i was told by another nurse i wasnt allowed to leave hes dosette box here then the nurse said we cannot get get hes tablets from the hospital chemist bring them tomorrow in boxes i said ok but chemist wont give them to me so much confusion and miscommunication its a shambles then i got shouted at by same nurse when i was leaving to try and confirm the tablets she wanted me to bring she said no we not allowed i have hes tablets now ?im going to the hospital as im allowed to visit for 1 hour despite being told by various different nurse i cam stay longer/another relative can stay a bit longer
I managed to get a pass from admin despite being told im not a essential vistor its clear im not really welcome tgeir by some of the more horrible nurses who frankly do not know how to even spk without shouting or explain things properly as a human being let alone a nurse

Just spoke to the social worker and he’s suggested that i ask for a psychiatrist medication review and best interest meeting via occupational therapist as ive no sw up there ?‍♀️
Never said that yesterday
He was steaming ahead with Nh placement and hospital keen on getting him out

X
Update just spke to pychatrist from hospital said we will spk to dr about hes medication and community pychatrist
He said im right to be concerned as my dads extremely confused and hallucinating
That he cannot just be jumped out of hospital needs to be done properly i feel i have to rush n talk quick as they all in a hurry n not Letting me
Spk . Now he’s talking about my dad being sectioned in old generatick hospital till they get hes meds right first as hes bed blocking i said sw has found possible placement
Pending a best interest meeting now /medication review ?‍♀️So so stressful?

 

[deepetshopboy]

I have to say I agree with @Jessbow . Your situation is not sustainable @deepetshopboy .


My dad was taken to hospital and sectioned while he was there. It was the best thing that could’ve happened for both of us. Dad had no idea he’d been sectioned, it was done with my agreement as his attorney, and he went straight from the hospital to an EMI carehome for a 4 week assessment period which gave the professionals the chance to see how bad he really was and gave me time to take stock.

I did have to stand my ground as they kept trying to send dad home. When I refused to allow this I was told that if i didn’t take him they’d section him. Knowing that a section 2 would make them responsible for dad and unable to get rid of him I leapt at the chance even though it does sound a bit scary..

Thats exactly what ive said ill be bck to square one again bck to calling the police but im concerned about hes medication is not right even the psychiatrist this morning said that i told him the risperdrone is not working and community psychiatrist wouldn’t try anything else think they sre syringeing halipdol in hes mouth which seems to be calming him down