Hi Gillgas,
Yes, I do
Not only do I feel isolated, but I have sadly realized that I'm wasting the last good years of my life.
I'm 65, my husband is 79.
I'm putting off doing what I like and at my age putting off means giving up
Gillgas, yes yes yes!
I feel isolated and lonely much of the time. My Mum lives with me and she still manages most of her self care but relies on me for everything else. She is generally quite cheerful with everyone and 'puts on a show' for carers/sitters etc. With me at home she can be what we call passive aggressive, 'nobody wants you when you're old', 'I never thought it would come to this', 'I've done my best and look how I'm repaid' etc etc.
She forgets I am nearly 60 and still thinks of me as 18 with energy to match. A friend recently visited to tell us she was going to Mexico for a few weeks. Mum was all "oh how lovely, I always wanted to go there, make the most of it while you can". When I told her I was having a weekend in Margate and had got a sitter in her for her you would have thought I had told her I was going on a world cruise for 6 months. "You leave me at every opportunity". Plus tears of course. Like Margherita I feel to defer any little pleasure is not just putting it off but giving up all hope of living my own life again. I no longer work so my chats are mainly with neighbours, shop staff and the occasional and I mean very occasional outing with friends.
You see your thread struck a chord with everyone. A very common feeling. Try and make space for yourself and your sanity.
Gillgas, yes yes yes!
I feel isolated and lonely much of the time. My Mum lives with me and she still manages most of her self care but relies on me for everything else. She is generally quite cheerful with everyone and 'puts on a show' for carers/sitters etc. With me at home she can be what we call passive aggressive, 'nobody wants you when you're old', 'I never thought it would come to this', 'I've done my best and look how I'm repaid' etc etc.
She forgets I am nearly 60 and still thinks of me as 18 with energy to match. A friend recently visited to tell us she was going to Mexico for a few weeks. Mum was all "oh how lovely, I always wanted to go there, make the most of it while you can". When I told her I was having a weekend in Margate and had got a sitter in her for her you would have thought I had told her I was going on a world cruise for 6 months. "You leave me at every opportunity". Plus tears of course. Like Margherita I feel to defer any little pleasure is not just putting it off but giving up all hope of living my own life again. I no longer work so my chats are mainly with neighbours, shop staff and the occasional and I mean very occasional outing with friends.
You see your thread struck a chord with everyone. A very common feeling. Try and make space for yourself and your sanity.
Nobody can reasonably expect to be the sole carer for someone else, 24/7, with no support or help ever, forever. Things happen. Situations change. What if you break your arm and can't care for your mother? Or need to go to hospital, or get sick yourself?