Hello,
Sorry, i'm new and not sure if this is the right place to post as my dad is currently in a hospital and likely to go into a care home (depending on the burden of cost) but there is no forum for that.
My dad was sectioned a few weeks ago after a week long spell of wandering off late at night (as us having to call the police each time), experiencing confusion, paranoia, accusing me of trying to not recognising us, telling us he is going to see his family and they live elsewhere and not accepting that he had a problem. He was initially sent to the hospital with a heart issue as his heart rate slowed down but I asked if he could be looked at. Weeks later he is in a mental health ward and has been diagnosed with mid to late stages of Alzheimer's. He has a very slow heart rate and as a result he cannot have the medication that will slow his Alzheimers down as that also lowers heart rate. The doctor said a couple of weeks ago that they will try to give him a microdose to see what that does (this hasn't happened yet).
Each evening in the hospital he packs his bag and asks the receptionist if he can come home. He has to be reminded where he is and that ha has dementia which apparently breaks his heart every time. He wants to come home. He has been told by nurses that he will be going into a care facility but he said he doesn't want to nor does he need to. From speaking to the doctor, we've been told that he keeps wandering and it will be difficult to manage him. Sometimes he thinks he's in a cafe, sometimes he thinks he is at work. They can stop the paranoia but he will always be wandering off and this is what frightens me the most. What if he doesn't return? What if someone takes advantage? He gets angry if we don't let him leave so we had no choice. He will listen to medical staff because of their authority but not us.
He called today (he remembers who we are) and seemed close to 'normal'. Whenever he calls he seems himself albeit much more tired and he doesn't want to speak for long. The sadness in him is unbearable but it's also very confusing when he calls. Confusing to us because he seems so normal. I think if I were in that situation I wouldn't want to go to a care home either. I would want to be at home. It's hard for me to hear when he is himself because I feel like he's being held captive like a prisoner. It would be easier to comprehend if he was always confused or always paranoid but he isn't. I get that we're getting his 'best side' because he actively chooses to call us at times and we are not there 24/7 but this situation is very confusing. I feel like the world's worst person.
If you have a family member with fluctuating alertness how do you cope with the different, inconsistent versions of the person? If they are in a care facility, when they are 'alert' and ask to come home, how do you not feel like you're trapping them from life?
Sorry for the length.
Thanks,
Sorry, i'm new and not sure if this is the right place to post as my dad is currently in a hospital and likely to go into a care home (depending on the burden of cost) but there is no forum for that.
My dad was sectioned a few weeks ago after a week long spell of wandering off late at night (as us having to call the police each time), experiencing confusion, paranoia, accusing me of trying to not recognising us, telling us he is going to see his family and they live elsewhere and not accepting that he had a problem. He was initially sent to the hospital with a heart issue as his heart rate slowed down but I asked if he could be looked at. Weeks later he is in a mental health ward and has been diagnosed with mid to late stages of Alzheimer's. He has a very slow heart rate and as a result he cannot have the medication that will slow his Alzheimers down as that also lowers heart rate. The doctor said a couple of weeks ago that they will try to give him a microdose to see what that does (this hasn't happened yet).
Each evening in the hospital he packs his bag and asks the receptionist if he can come home. He has to be reminded where he is and that ha has dementia which apparently breaks his heart every time. He wants to come home. He has been told by nurses that he will be going into a care facility but he said he doesn't want to nor does he need to. From speaking to the doctor, we've been told that he keeps wandering and it will be difficult to manage him. Sometimes he thinks he's in a cafe, sometimes he thinks he is at work. They can stop the paranoia but he will always be wandering off and this is what frightens me the most. What if he doesn't return? What if someone takes advantage? He gets angry if we don't let him leave so we had no choice. He will listen to medical staff because of their authority but not us.
He called today (he remembers who we are) and seemed close to 'normal'. Whenever he calls he seems himself albeit much more tired and he doesn't want to speak for long. The sadness in him is unbearable but it's also very confusing when he calls. Confusing to us because he seems so normal. I think if I were in that situation I wouldn't want to go to a care home either. I would want to be at home. It's hard for me to hear when he is himself because I feel like he's being held captive like a prisoner. It would be easier to comprehend if he was always confused or always paranoid but he isn't. I get that we're getting his 'best side' because he actively chooses to call us at times and we are not there 24/7 but this situation is very confusing. I feel like the world's worst person.
If you have a family member with fluctuating alertness how do you cope with the different, inconsistent versions of the person? If they are in a care facility, when they are 'alert' and ask to come home, how do you not feel like you're trapping them from life?
Sorry for the length.
Thanks,
