Do you think my mum has dementia? Please read

Grain2105

New member
Jun 12, 2021
3
0
Hi everyone, this may be a long post so please forgive me, I have have suspected my 71 year old mother has been displaying symptoms of dementia for the past two years, most recently in the past few months, it started off suttle her symptoms ie, forgetfulness, unable to follow a conversation, very tired all the time, just odd behavior that is difficult to explain.

Since the beginning of this year she has got worse, she is stumbling and walking into the things, has no self awareness of her surroundings, appears to really concentrate when walking. She leans over when she walks almost at 40 degree angle she has (no previous back problems or arthritis) she has vacant moments, she is unable to retain information and struggles to hold a conversation, she is more bad tempered than usual. She will almost be rude and walk off when people talk to her who she knows and is not aware that she does this. And the main one now is she was called to work for a disciplinary hearing as she has been making mistakes at work (she works on the tills) and it has been going on for months unbeknown to us. But due to her long service they gave the benefit of the doubt and have been monitoring her.
We only found out on wednsday, as my father found the letter, she has hidden this from us. Luckily my father rang her supervisor and explained what's been going on with mum and her supervisor said she is different at work and she isn't the women that she was and she is repetitive and unable to understand things that are being explained to her, and to be fair they have been very supportive and understanding and luckily she hasn't lost her job and she is the sick for the time being.

We had her at the Dr's in April about our concerns and they did blood tests which came back clear, and sorted out her medication ( my father realised she wasn't taking her high blood pressure tablets correctly) so my father has made sure everyday she has took them consistently. And there has been no change. The GP said if nothing changes In a few weeks then she needs to go back and be investigated further.

I have worked I the care Industry for 15 years and have worked with dementia and its something I am very passionate about and have alot of knowledge. I just want feedback from anyone who has gone through this if I they think I'm correct in saying my mum has dementia. I have tried to think of every rational explanation for my mums behaviour, but my gut is telling me I'm right. I know it sound ridiculous that even though I have alot of experience with this disease I am not prepared for this and I don't want to loose.my mum to this as I know how this progresses.

Thanks for reading from a very anxious 34 year old daughter.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,620
0
Hi @Grain2105 It took me a number of years to decide that dad did indeed have dementia. There were a lot of signs including the fact that my mum told me of her suspicions before she died but it still took me another 2 or 3 years to confirm it in my own mind and then another 3 years before dad was actually diagnosed but I suppose that in my heart of hearts I did know. I would say that you are probably in the best position to decide and if you have noticed strange behaviour then you will probably know if your suspicions are right or not but the only way to know for certain is to get a diagnosis but that is not always easy.

Your mum seems to be covering for herself so she probably knows that something is not right but she may not be willing to face up to it and that will make it difficult for you to get a diagnosis. The things that you describe do make it sound as though dementia could be a possibility but without a diagnosis you can't be sure, it could be something else.

Is your dad willing to push your mum to see a doctor because he is the one who is living with her and he must know whether she is okay or not. If she is unwilling to see a doctor then it will be difficult for you to go any further at the moment.

You will get other answers soon that may be more helpful than mine so wait and see what they say.
 

Grain2105

New member
Jun 12, 2021
3
0
Thankyou for your reply I had to push my dad to go with her to an appointment as I think he jas been in denial for a while that there is something wrong, and I explained that with dementia it can change on a weekly basis or it can be stable for a few years depending on what type my dad was holding out I think, at the fact that she was doing fine at work and nothing had been said, I did say a few weeks ago she's probably hiding it and won't tell you and I turned out to be correct it didn't come as a shock when my dad told.me what's happened, I just want to know so we can get things in place to help mum and my dad live with this my dad is already stressed and frustrated with her, I just feel helpless and I know to get it diagnosed is going to be a battle as her GP surgery isn't the greatest.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
hi @Grain2105 , glad your dad has an appointment for your mum at the doctors. I suggest he emails a letter or drops one in before hand with a bullet point list of his concerns , or slips the GP a note on the day. This is what I did when I had worries about my mum. At first the GP thought I was being unnecessarily anxious as mum passed the mini memory test and was being charming and apparently very together. He then mentioned one of the things in my list, that mum was convinced her neighbours came in and stole things, then bought them back. After five minutes of listening to mum’s rant and while trying to keep a straight face at some of the things she said we had a referral to the memory clinic.
Dementia Talking Point is a great place for advice and support, so glad you found us.
 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
947
0
I don't know if you saw the Dementia Restaurant programme a couple of years ago? As I recall , one lady had a dementia that had little cognitive effects, but did affect her spatial abilities, because her brain couldn't correctly process the visual information it was recieving. It is perhaps possible that your mum has a similar, less common type, that does present in the usual way.
I'm afraid I can't remember what her diagnosis actually was.