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Do you have to go through social services to get private care?

Pennyc

Registered User
Nov 26, 2020
16
0
Hi all. I need your help and advice. My mum is my dads carer and she has been rushed into hospital early hours this morning. My dad cannot be left as he has moderate to severe Alzheimer’s and vascular. I’m with him and staying over to look after him. I did this last year when my mum had a heart attack and although I was drained I managed to cope. This time my dad is further on with his dementia and I feel like I can’t cope and out of my depth. He’s forgotten how to shower and I just can’t see my dad with no clothes on!!! I stood outside the bathroom door and he got in with his clothes on!! I’m thinking I may need to ask for help and call on social services for some respite care at first and then see how it goes. My parents have money and they would self fund. Do I still ring social services or do I just look for private carers
That are local to me? Any advice would be grateful as I feel out of my depth with all this.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
10,631
0
Yorkshire
hi @Pennyc
if your dad would be self funding then go ahead and make what arrangements he needs
this may be useful

personally I'd say also contact his Local Authority Adult Services and explain the situation, who knows they may offer support .... this will at least flag up that your dad is a vulnerable adult ... as will your mum be, especially immediately after discharge

to be honest, I think this situation is a signal that it's time to look into residential care

I hope your mum recovers well
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,543
0
If your dad would be self-funding you can phone up care homes and see if they could do a respite stay at short notice. This site might be useful to help you find somewhere. https://www.carehome.co.uk/. I moved mum into care without referring to social services at all.
It does sound as though you may need to be thinking about longer term care for your dad, if your mum is far from well herself.
 

Pennyc

Registered User
Nov 26, 2020
16
0
Thanks for the replies. But how do you persuade your loved one to go into a care home? What if he flatly refuses? I agree he probably does but I just don’t know how to approach it.
 

spandit

Registered User
Feb 11, 2020
296
0
We found private carers through our local Facebook community group. You might need to get social services involved in the future but you don't need their permission to pay a private individual to care for your father. You might have difficulty introducing one into his life but it's probably less of a trial than trying to move him into a home, although if he needs round the clock care, a home is cheaper (even at £1,500 a week!).

Could you tell him you're taking him out to a hotel? The home my father is in has a café area downstairs. Do you have power of attorney over their finances? A care home won't generally do very short term respite care. Make sure all his clothes are labelled as most of my father's have gone missing...
 

Savannah

Registered User
Nov 25, 2018
47
0
If your parents have a spare bedroom then you could consider live in care. Live in carers typically work from 7 am to 10 pm with a two hour break during daylight hours. Basic support is in the region of £900 per week, if personal care is required then you are looking closer to £1200. Mum needs encouragement to have a bath but can still bathe herself and pays £895 per week. You haven't mentioned if your Dad is still deemed to have capacity - if he is then he can refuse to have care. You haven't mentioned if you have LPA's in place. If not then even if your Dad lacks capacity you wouldn't be i a legal position to sign the contract for the provision of care. There is a shortage of live in carers and not all care providers offer this so make sure to search for live in care providers otherwise you could be making a lot of phone calls. Something else that may be an option for you is to try and find local micro providers of care. These will not be CQC registered and hence no DBS checks but if you are present at their visit times then you will be able to keep an eye on them. The benefit of using micro providers is that their hourly rate is much reduced - generally around £15 per hour 'v' around £25 per hour. Some local authorities publish lists of micro providers, Social Services would be able to advise you on this.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,715
0
Thanks for the replies. But how do you persuade your loved one to go into a care home? What if he flatly refuses? I agree he probably does but I just don’t know how to approach it.

Hello @Pennyc

It’s a difficult time considering moving a parent into a care home. You might pick up some useful tips from the following link. Many of us have faced the same decision and problems, so keep posting for advice and support along the way.

 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,323
0
Hi @Pennyc
As other have said, there is no need to go through the Local Authority which may well just slow things down - and they won't provide any support if you are self-funding. I contacted Social Services and by the time they got back to me, my mother had had self-funded home care in place for nearly two weeks.

In terms of 'how do I get my dad to go into a care home', my suggestion would be to try to arrange temporary respite in a care home for a couple of weeks. A short stay will be a lot easier to 'sell' to him, you can explain that it's just while his wife is indisposed (although of course even it it's actually permanent, you can still tell him it's temporary).

I told my mother she was going on a mini break in a guest house. I always used whatever 'story' she would accept most easily. (Three years later she's still there, and is very content.)

There will also be a wealth of additional advice in the link given above.