Do you ever think of walking out?

[john1939]

Hello, some people say that there is good and bad in every situation, well I am still looking for the good in the Alzheimers situation. There is none.
I think I miss most the quiet intimate conversations, we almost knew what the other was thinking.
That is all gone now and our conversations are limited to what her preference in food is.
More like having a fractious lodger which I have to look after.
Never in my worst nightmare did I think that I would be in this situation. Totally unprepared for it, as none of my family had it, most of them dying in their 90s but still mentally sharp.
Tomorrow starts a new blister pack of drugs. Must make sure that all 17 are taken.daily.

 

[john1939]

John1939
I agree wholeheartedly and can add the one which states "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" - my own personal comment is that "I am going to skip the grey stage and go bald instead" - actually I hope not, but know what I mean.
Perhaps the plan is that we all start thinking like the ones we care for - then we won't actually notice anything odd, peculiar, funny or whatever....it will all seem perfectly normal (I know there is no such thing as normal - my normal I mean).
Take Care
Keep Strong
Mx

Hello, yes we must be on guard in case we start to behave like our charges. But what I have seen is so weird. How about dipping your scarf in a cup of tea and cleaning the cafe table? So
far I have resisted the urge to do this.

 

[MarHef48]

Hello, yes we must be on guard in case we start to behave like our charges. But what I have seen is so weird. How about dipping your scarf in a cup of tea and cleaning the cafe table? So
far I have resisted the urge to do this.

Honestly John1939, I can't think why you have hesitated......seriously though....aaargh. It is all very strange how this person whom you thought you really knew can dream up the impossible scenario and carry it forward in a seemingly (and here I go again) 'normal' manner and then carry on as though nothing untoward has happened. The trouble is 'they catch us off guard' then we are stunned, amazed, shocked, even horrified and then frozen in 'oh good grief what do I do now'- which is why I suspect that eventually relatives in particular stop going into social settings, which is a shame too.

Keep strong.
Mx

 

[70smand]

I really did smile at your retelling of the door hinge saga MarHef48, but I realise how hard it can be having supported my mum in looking after my dad. I was constantly on call for mum when dad had a ‘wobbly’ and turned on mum as he wouldn’t accept carers. I mostly seemed to be able to calm him when he decided to break out of his house and wander off on the never ending quest to go ‘home’. If I couldn’t get round quick enough it would be a drive round the streets searching for a few hours sometimes ending in the police coming to the rescue ( who were always marvellous, I might add). They would bring him home quite agitated when they found him, where he would soon turn a bit sheepish, like a naughty schoolboy. Hours of commotion, stress and agitation on everyone’s part and at the end of the day we’d all sit round physically and mentally drained and dad would look up from his chair and say to my mum “ it’s been a lovely day, hasn’t it darling?” !!

 

[myss]

That happened to me the other week as well I will go with him, not in mind you but I’ll wait outside just in case there is anyone in the ladies who doesn’t understand

I can also somewhat emphasise as this has nearly happened a couple times recently where I had to pull him back to the gents when he was heading to other toilets.

 

[DeMartin]

I can also somewhat emphasise as this has nearly happened a couple times recently where I had to pull him back to the gents when he was heading to other toilets.

A previous poster had a disabled toilet key, very useful, big space, unisex and you can go with OH. When my hubby broke fingers we always used the disabled as he needed help pulling up and tucking in.