Do You Ever Get Used To living On Your Own?

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by goodnightsienna, Sep 3, 2011.

  1. goodnightsienna

    goodnightsienna Registered User

    After caring for Margaret for two years my dear wife had to be looked after in a Care Home. I've been on my own for about eighteen months.
    Today, I was waiting for the bus that passes our house and I thought "There's just time to have a look at Alz Talking Point. A lovely reply from Pauline, and I thought- this lady is on my wavelength-how lovely if I could sit with her this evening!- but no I must sit on my own .John stop dreaming! So I switched on the x Factor!
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,561
    Kent
    There are a lot of us sitting on our own this evening John.
     
  3. danny

    danny Registered User

    Hi John, you are not on your own, you have all of us now.:)
     
  4. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,497
    Female
    Near Southampton
    Me too! ....................:(
     
  5. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    Me too and all alone as usual. I have been for the past 4 years or so. We used to have different 'fun threads' running on Saturday night just to cheer us all up and by contributing to these, I felt I was in a group of friends.

    Perhaps we could start our Saturday Night Club off again. I'll have a think!!

    xxTinaT
     
  6. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,582
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm not alone tonight as I am lucky enough to still have my Bill with me. I am thinking of those of you who are. x
     

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  7. scarletpauline

    scarletpauline Registered User

    Jul 19, 2009
    5,080
    Leicestershire
    You can always log on to TP, we are all friends together and supporting each other. Hope you are feeling all right, love Pauline xxx
     
  8. I think that people do get used to living alone but it helps to find lots of human contact in different contexts, such as neighbours, friends that pop round or that you can drop in on, people you can chat with on the phone or online. That's if you are missing contact.

    Sometimes I think that a pet can help people who like animals. I find having a pet helps me a great deal, but it isn't for everyone.
     
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    I'm on my own too, have been for four years since John went into care.

    Just watched Pal Joey in floods of tears. Can't be bothered with X Factor after that.
     
  10. normelle

    normelle Registered User

    Apr 25, 2010
    612
    bournemouth
    hi john

    as others have said you are NOT on your own.
    ive been on my own for 14 months and it is the pits.

    i lost my brother on tues of this week,and in some strange way....i seem to feel lonier than ever.Although ,of course my brother didnt live me ,my house seems sooooooooooo empty.
    like everyone has said ,john,we all have tp to turn to .bless you
    love normelle xx
     
  11. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,497
    Female
    Near Southampton
    So sorry you have lost your brother Normelle. It has probably acentuated your feelings. Me deep sympathy. X
     
  12. Loopiloo

    Loopiloo Registered User

    May 10, 2010
    6,119
    Female
    Scotland
    #12 Loopiloo, Sep 3, 2011
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2011
    I am another who is sitting alone tonight. Over 9 months now, my husband in hospital six months and the last three months in a care home. I have TV on, 'Casualty' but not watching it, just a glance now and then, and spend most evenings on my laptop. I do have, or did have interests/hobbies but as my husband's dementia progressed and became more demanding they declined. Except for the laptop.

    Why don't I pick up my interests again? I can't, not just like that after so long. Still in limbo, trying to come to terms, no motivation, concentration, energy. Perhaps it is 'early days' yet.

    I have always been content with my own company - but on a permanent basis 24/7 that is quite different.

    I notice no one has actually answered the question 'Do You Ever Get Used to Living On Your Own?' I often wonder. At this moment in time I feel I will never get used to it.

    TP is a great comfort to so many of us, I am so glad I found it.

    Normelle, I am sorry you have recently lost your brother.
    Loo xx
     
  13. Nan2seven

    Nan2seven Registered User

    Apr 11, 2009
    2,525
    Dorset
    Dear John,

    I too am on my own tonight. And every night. My middle son and grandson have been round to see me earlier with some beans and some raspberries, but went home after an hour. My eldest son telephoned to see how I am and to confirm my visit to him presently. But now I am on my own again. So much so that I nearly didn't answer your post. Bar eight weeks through December and January, I have been living on my own since last October, my husband many weeks in hospital and then in residential care. For me it does not get any easier. Like Loo above, I am very happy with my own company, but still find an empty house difficult.

    [Dear Normelle, I am so sorry to see that you have lost your brother this week.]

    I wonder how many there are of us, spending the evenings alone, up and down the country. Thank heavens for TP.

    Love to all of you, whether you post or not.
    Nan XXX
     
  14. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    You are all such lovely people. You might not have regular contact with people right now, but the community here welcomes you.

    Love

    Margaret
     
  15. Lizziekins

    Lizziekins Registered User

    May 13, 2009
    89
    Bath
    Hi everyone,

    I haven't been on TP for absolutely ages, not since my Bill was here and I was getting so worn out that even coming on here (which had been a bit of a lifeline) was getting too much.

    Then Bill went into hospital (and after a few weeks into a nursing home) in May last year. It's taken me all this time to get used to living by myself, but have very recently been realising that I'm not so lonely any more. I see him almost every day, but now do quite a few other things, and am seeing friends more.

    At first - well, for a long time really, and still sometimes even now - I really suffered with guilt for not having him here to look after (even though my logical side told me that I could not have done anything different - it was the social worker who arranged for him to be admitted - and it was the right thing for Bill and for me.)

    Anyway, this bit of a ramble is to say to anyone else in this situation that life does go on, some times more difficult than others, but I for one am finding a bit of light at the end of that tunnel......
     
  16. PatH

    PatH Registered User

    Feb 14, 2005
    301
    N.Ireland
    I too am here on my own!
     
  17. beech mount

    beech mount Registered User

    Sep 1, 2008
    1,524
    Manchester
    From my point of view i do not think i wil ever get used to being on my own,Mia died about 14 months ago,we had been together for 40 years.
    Untill 3-4 months ago i still felt her presence in the house then one day i returned from shoping and the house was empty,and i knew she was gone now all i have is a empty house.All the things i used to do when she was alive i no longer have any interest in,they are not important and now i now longer like being out of the house for long,cant wait to get back to a empty house.
    This may sound silly but Mia viseted me 6 months ago and spoke to me,and then left.
    that was a comfort.
    John.
     
  18. bigtom

    bigtom Registered User

    Sep 19, 2009
    625
    bolton lancs
    Hello John, I will never get used to living on my own. my wife Sylvia when into a care home in May. She was diagnosed with alzheimers in march 2005 and i cared for her at home on my own for 6 years till her illness became the severe stage and she needed nurseing care so things where taken out of my hands.I have been with syl 49 years wed for 46 years and not only my wife she was my best friend to.I go to her care home every day and spend an hour or so with her but she does not know who i am now, she has lost her speech now so i just hold her hand and this seems to make her happy,i talk about our son and daughter and grandchildren and at times she smiles and grips my hand so i hope she is getting something out of my visits. The house is so empty now i miss her so much. this is the hand i have been dealt and i will stick with it to the end whenever that maybe:eek:
     
  19. beech mount

    beech mount Registered User

    Sep 1, 2008
    1,524
    Manchester
    Hi Tom,
    I feel shure that your wife still knows who you are,there is a bond between people that can not be broken.
    John.
     
  20. laura1957

    laura1957 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2011
    12
    i sit on my own every night also as my poor hubby is in a care home too,never thought it would get to this but at least my hubby likes his care home as he calls them his family:)
     

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