Do you believe in fate?

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
YesI was thinking that also when we our tried stress out ..

But it’s normal to think that, it’s how you perceive it ,a though has a feeling so change the thought and change the feeling ,as we can’t change our love one illness , but we have a choice in how we feel & how we see it (AD)
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
NW England
In response to the original question!

Yup! I do!

Given 'fate' means our inevitable destination (at least in this life).

It's not fate that matters, it's how we choose to journey to our destination (in spite of any limitations/obstacles/chances and opportunities thrown at us) that does.

On that philosophical note, I'd best retire (for tonight!!!)

Hugs, all, Karen, x
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,668
66
Toronto, Canada
I do not believe in "fate" in the sense that things are ordained or destined to happen. I do not have "faith" - I have no religious beliefs. I do like the Golden Rule "Do unto others what you would have them do unto you" and I do believe in the power of positive thinking.

I don't believe that things "happen" so we can "learn" from them. If that's so, it's a nasty joke on AD patients because sure as feces they won't be learning anything from that experience. Sorry - someone once thoughtlessly said something about "a learning experience & things happening for a reason" when my mother was first diagnosed & it irritated me to no end. Others derive comfort from thinking these things & that's great for them. But not for me.

We do the best we can, we cope with what we must & just get on with it. Get out there & hit life head on. Things always will work out, just sometimes not the way we originally planned.

Joanne
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Canadian Joanne

"a learning experience & things happening for a reason"
I do believe that when it come to the caring role with my mother & mum AD .

I would not agree if someone said that about a person with AD :eek: Or my mum as that does not make sense , & that would sure irritated me as will .
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Canadian Joanne said:
We do the best we can, we cope with what we must & just get on with it. Get out there & hit life head on. Things always will work out, just sometimes not the way we originally planned.
You have some fantastic ways of expressing things and I always treasure them... some I repeat on TP ad infin.

You have great wisdom, and TP is the better for it!!

Thanks-
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Is that a dig at me Bruce ?
Grief no! Where did you get that idea?

I've been away from the PC for a day and have been catching up on the almost 100 posts.

In among the messages, Joanne said
Things always will work out, just sometimes not the way we originally planned.
and
Think of it as being on a plane when the oxygen masks drop. The first thing you are told is to put your oxygen mask on first and only then put it on others who require help. When you leave after a visit YOU think is shorter than it should be, you're putting your oxygen mask on.
Add these to the one I referred to as something I quote often
"When you've seen one person with Alzheimer's...."
I'd much prefer to praise someone than dig at them, and I have learned that when I like something, that is the time to say so.

Conversely, when I don't like something, that's when I step away and think about it a while, and do not respond at once [hey, I'm human - I do sometimes write a response, but only if mortally offended, and then I try to delete the message before sending it!]. I learned to hold back when, some 30 years ago, I sent a stinging memo [no e-mails then!] to someone who had caught me at a bad moment, and they resigned on the spot. They were not working for me either!

So, to clarify, my post was only meant to be a salute to Joanne for her way of saying things, that particularly hit the spot for me.

I wasn't referring to anything you said at all, Margarita.
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Just when you said
expressing things
& I can never word it or express it right


so was feeling very sensitive about it ,just one of those days sorry , its getting to the point that lately TP keep saying web site not reloading came back later ,or send email to ….. That I feel that someone doing it on purposes :rolleyes:





Yes I like it when Joanne said

Think of it as being on a plane when the oxygen masks drop. The first thing you are told is to put your oxygen mask on first and only then put it on others who require help. When you leave after a visit YOU think is shorter than it should be, you're putting your oxygen mask on.
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Margarita

please don't worry about the precise words you use - everyone can see you are writing from your heart, and we understand.
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
NW England
Big Hug, Margarita!

Margarita said:
Just when you said & I can never word it or express it right ..

so was feeling very sensitive about it ,just one of those days sorry , its getting to the point that lately ......
Margarita, I know I have told you privately if not publicly how I 'hear' your voice - your spirit, your warmth. As Brucie says - with you, it's from the heart... precise words matter for nothing.... you have a gift of expression as everyone else here...(in fact, I'll 'stick my neck out' here and say I believe you have a particularly special gift)... we may all have different styles/first languages..... so what? There is no right or wrong for any of us surely?

But that sensitivity you feel? That's your vulnerability and part of your beauty... we are all vulnerable here to some degree - else why would be here at all??

I feel at times, I've been 'stung' - and sometimes without realising I have 'stung' others too, for which I'm sorry, but I figure we all here appreciate we are under similar - if different - pressures afflicted by the same source. Some days, that sensitivity that motivates you to keep on caring, loving and thinking about everyone but yourself just kicks you in the head, yeah?

It's people on TP who have the guts to be as honest and open, helpful, resourceful and optimisitic as you who have just about 'saved my own sanity' these last few months......

Sensitivity breeds strength. Stay strong!

Love and hugest hugs, Karen, x
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Thank-you Nada for sorting it out :) :eek:

and Big (((HUG)))) to Mel for saying that.

Its just that something been in the back of my mind & don't know how to handle it.



For some reason since mum come back from day center , she keeps asking when I do I want to go to Gibraltar, so it got me thinking I would like to go & told one of my daughter would they look after mum just for a few days, while I pop over there.



Then since last Wednesday since mum got home from day center she keeps saying that that someone may ask her to go on holiday with them & would I give her the money to spend, but would they give her medication? So I just agree with her. Ok I new this may be a hint that she wants me to take her, I did look on the internet, but it would be so expensive, & then would have to take a wheelchair & my sciatica has not clear up & am still in pain, so would have to take my daughter that would mean more money.



I told mum this, but every day she been saying you never No ? the driver & his wife may ask me, & keeps looking at her horoscope, me reading it to her.



I would love to get a plain to Malaga really cheap, then get the coach to Gibraltar, it really lovely doing that route as you see a lot of Spain & the mountings. Then stay at friends for 3/5 days & get the plain back from Gibraltar



So may be Go Sunday come back Saturday mean leavening mum with teenagers for 5 days, I just cannot bring myself to ask social services again or mum to go into respite again after mum being in emergency respite for nearly 2 mouths.



So do I leave mum with teenager? Who 20, she said she look after mum, (my 19 21 daughter would be with her) but told her it be only for 3 days. I do have a carer who comes in every day to wash mum & mum go to AZ day centre 2 days a week.



Mum said she does not mind staying with Monique as she cooks nice dinner. They say fate is what you make it how hell do I do this?Yes :rolleyes: going to say it with out feeling guilty not taking mum ?
 
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Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,668
66
Toronto, Canada
Awwww, Brucie (finger on mouth, eyes downcast, toe digging in ground, blushing like mad) you say the sweetest things! You silver-tongued devil, you! I too try to focus on the positive. Don't always succeed but the effort is important.

Margarita, you have always been kind and positive in your posts. That has always come through loud and clear. The odd mistakes here & there don't matter, at least not to sensible people.

As for your trip to Gibraltar, maybe that's your oxygen mask coming down. Of course taking your mother won't be possible but you too need time away from all the day-to-day responsibilities. Make your arrangements and just GO! We all need to recharge our batteries. Your mother probably won't realize how long you're gone and let's face it, you're talking about a week, not a 3 three month voyage. You deserve a break and you shouldn't feel guilty - I know, easier said than done but (to quote Nike) JUST DO IT!

Joanne
 

dmc

Registered User
Mar 13, 2006
1,157
hi margarita
go for it you need a break give yourself some margarita time;) :D
 

susieb

Registered User
Apr 16, 2006
26
have'nt posted or read for a while, but wanted to share my belief with you -

I think that (I suppose hope that) we all only get things to cope with that we are able to cope with - so although it might something as bad as AD, maybe for us thats better than some of the alternatives