Readers to my threads will have seen the rolloer coaster that is my Dad's dementia, health and care (sometimes lack of it) from the local hospital.
Two weeks ago my mum and I were told tnat Dad was terminal - expect the worst.
We visited, and saw him sleeping, peaceful and sometimes fitful. The nursing staff consoled us, and the Macmillan Nurse was suportive.
Last week he came off the drip and was quiet in his bed, sleeping, waking, non-communicating - we sat at the side of his bed. All this broke my heart.
Each visit was the same until yesterday - he was sat up in bed! - Bright as a button, chatting away.....rubbish, but chatting. I went to see if the staff could update me, but no, they were all busy, heads down (ocassional "hello") we stayed for 20 minutes because i had to go back to work, I vowed to phone the medics today to find out more, we were confused more than anything - were we being too optomistic, or was he being just kept comfy. On Friday Mum was worried that his "borrowed" wheelchair would be lost in the ward, so i asked if the hospital could send it back - the staff nurse said it "may be a bit premature" andthen said it was always her (her what?) - we didn't understand that comment, just maybe thought that it may be a little insensitive to send it back whilst he was still alive.
Today,Pre empting my call, the social worker called me at home and boldy stated that he was arranging for dad to go into the NH...(readers previously would note we had a devils job to find a place, then his pneumona etc.). I couldn't beleive my ears, and told him he'd got it all wrong, Dad was on a care pathway and the macmillan nurse was loking after him! No, he said, he was in a meeting last WEDNESDAY (today is Tuesday, six days after), and the consultant was amazed at his progress.
The staff hadn't the gumption to tell us the good news as we visited - lets face it we've been coming to visit for the last 5 months, we're practically on the staff party list! They even omitted to say he was better than before..although when he's sleeping we can imagine allsorts.
Of course i'm relieved, so is Mum - my gripe is that I've been stressed to the hilt over Dad's illness, saddened to have to pass the news to my children and family and friends, missed out on my main hobby because I've been fretting for my Mum as well, had colleagues at work commisserate....you can all imagine - I Feel totally stupid, and fraudulent! (we were told to expect that he would die in the hospital soon)
I telephoned the complaints people at the hospital and told 'em straight, their communication is rubbish - similar incident on a previously rubbish SW and now I've torn the ears off the new one.
I have to admit I feel frazzled over this - emotionally drained - toll taken on work, and reduced power in my batteries. What do i do now?
We're off to visit tomorrow, lets pray that nothing happens overnight...
steve
Two weeks ago my mum and I were told tnat Dad was terminal - expect the worst.
We visited, and saw him sleeping, peaceful and sometimes fitful. The nursing staff consoled us, and the Macmillan Nurse was suportive.
Last week he came off the drip and was quiet in his bed, sleeping, waking, non-communicating - we sat at the side of his bed. All this broke my heart.
Each visit was the same until yesterday - he was sat up in bed! - Bright as a button, chatting away.....rubbish, but chatting. I went to see if the staff could update me, but no, they were all busy, heads down (ocassional "hello") we stayed for 20 minutes because i had to go back to work, I vowed to phone the medics today to find out more, we were confused more than anything - were we being too optomistic, or was he being just kept comfy. On Friday Mum was worried that his "borrowed" wheelchair would be lost in the ward, so i asked if the hospital could send it back - the staff nurse said it "may be a bit premature" andthen said it was always her (her what?) - we didn't understand that comment, just maybe thought that it may be a little insensitive to send it back whilst he was still alive.
Today,Pre empting my call, the social worker called me at home and boldy stated that he was arranging for dad to go into the NH...(readers previously would note we had a devils job to find a place, then his pneumona etc.). I couldn't beleive my ears, and told him he'd got it all wrong, Dad was on a care pathway and the macmillan nurse was loking after him! No, he said, he was in a meeting last WEDNESDAY (today is Tuesday, six days after), and the consultant was amazed at his progress.
The staff hadn't the gumption to tell us the good news as we visited - lets face it we've been coming to visit for the last 5 months, we're practically on the staff party list! They even omitted to say he was better than before..although when he's sleeping we can imagine allsorts.
Of course i'm relieved, so is Mum - my gripe is that I've been stressed to the hilt over Dad's illness, saddened to have to pass the news to my children and family and friends, missed out on my main hobby because I've been fretting for my Mum as well, had colleagues at work commisserate....you can all imagine - I Feel totally stupid, and fraudulent! (we were told to expect that he would die in the hospital soon)
I telephoned the complaints people at the hospital and told 'em straight, their communication is rubbish - similar incident on a previously rubbish SW and now I've torn the ears off the new one.
I have to admit I feel frazzled over this - emotionally drained - toll taken on work, and reduced power in my batteries. What do i do now?
We're off to visit tomorrow, lets pray that nothing happens overnight...
steve
